What would you put in a box of Christmas Cheer?

[DifficultBloodyWoman]

I have a relative who is a bit of a Grinch. Despite having children, in previous years, she either hasn’t bothered to put up a tree or does it on Christmas Eve. There are no special traditions or special food etc. The day is spent mostly on iPads and in bed. The kids split Christmas between her and their Dad.

I want to send a box of Christmas goodies to get them in the spirit of Christmas. The kids are 7, 10, and 13.

So far:
santa hats
a tree to stick on the wall
crackers
a book of Christmas themed stories
Christmassy chocolate and sweets

What would you suggest? (The box has to be posted and I want everything to arrive at the same time so I’m not going to order things to be delivered directly to them).

Will she be happy to get it?

Alcohol, chocolates, games- probably much as you have put together. Perhaps a little tiny tree each for the kids to have in their rooms instead of one to stick on the wall.

I know the kids will be. She probably won’t care.

I would also wrap this bits and name them for each person.

What's your budget? Tickets to the local outdoor ice rink or panto?

Christmas concert panto or ice skating tickets

I probably look like your relative from the outside. The reality is I struggle enormously with Christmas because it brings back a lot of bad memories, from unhappy dysfunctional family stuff to really sad bereavements I have experienced. It's the hardest time of year.

So tread carefully, I wouldn't be too thrilled to receive this in your relative's position and you sound a bit dismissive of her.

If it's the kids you're thinking of could you offer to take them to something festive e.g. panto or ice skating. Don't send her tickets - I'd be unlikely to use these. If not, what's the problem with just sending some nice presents for the day and a few foodie bits?

You can't jolly her into liking Christmas.

As long as she won’t get angry or ruin things that’s great.

Christmas pjs or t shirts
Advent calendars
A playlist of Christmas songs and films

There's no amount of jazzy shit you can put in a box to make up for a joyless parent.

So tread carefully, I wouldn't be too thrilled to receive this in your relative's position and you sound a bit dismissive of her.

Who cares what she thinks though? She's doing as she pleases, it's the kids who are suffering a seemingly joy free Christmas.

To clarify - the relative in question used to enjoy Christmas but became depressed when she split with her Ex. I suspect that there is an element of ‘I can’t do Christmas as well as him so I won’t bother at all’.

I probably do sound a bit dismissive of her. Thanks for pointing that out, @ScarboroughHair . I will try not to be. She can be difficult and hypocritical at times but I don’t want her to look back and regret not celebrating Christmas with her kids. I am certain that she will in future see it as a missed opportunity and then beat herself up over it.

That said, she has in the past done Xmas pjs and some of the more instgrammable type stuff. She bought an elf and then gave it to the kids o;Christmas Day because she had forgotten about but couldn’t find it the following year.

Those poor kids, she sounds like a selfish cow tbh! I would put some games, some nice food bits and a pair of xmas pj's or a Christmas jumper for each child. Oh and maybe a stocking with lots of little bits in for each child.

To add - I won’t be able to see them this Christmas hence posting a box to them so things can’t be too big or heavy.

The budget is not high because this is not their main Christmas present (that will be computer game stuff). £100 will be absolute max, hopefully a lot less but depends on what I can pull together.

I like the idea of giving them a playlist to open a box to.
And I’ll wrap everything individually too.
Mini trees also sound fun so I’ll look for those.

I’ve also got a gingerbread house making kit.

I'd major on consumables eg Christmas Tree shaped tortilla chips; Cadburys Festive friends biscuits or Cadburys used to do a nice selection of chocolate Christmas themed cake bars

advent calendars ?
does santa come ?

Christmas Tree shaped tortilla chips where can I get these? Never mind the kids. They are for me!

Im not due if I made it clear that this will be a parcel for them to open at the beginning of December to get some Christmas spirit so that they don’t all turn into Grinches like their mum. I was originally thinking decorations and easy activities that don’t need adult supervision but any and all ideas are welcome. (And there have been some great ones, thank you).

Well, in the spirit of suggestions, I'd be tempted to send an advent calendar in the mix - probably a picture one given parcel size is an issue. That seems like a pretty standard Christmas ritual that they will be keenly aware they are missing out on for starters.

Have a look at Hobbycraft. They’ve got all sorts of Christmas craft kits, as well as ordinary craft kits, starting from £1.

I think advent calendars would be a brilliant idea. Maybe one of those cheap wooden signs saying ‘Santa Stop Here’? Or window stickers of snowflakes? Paper chain making kits?

Could you enlist the help of the 13yr old to make things a bit more magical for the 7yr old? Maybe put a bell in the parcel and say that FC left it at your house last year and you’re hoping that the 7yr old will help return it to him, then get the 13yr old to help them leave it out, and swipe it back after bed time?

why do you need to change her Christmas for her? I would leave well alone. Its none of your business tbh.

who says they are suffering. Perhaps she dosent want them brainwashed that you have to have loads of things at Christmas.

the kids might quite like someone thinking of them at Christmas. why should the miserable mother be more important?

Christmas Eve is a good day to put the tree up.

Not months before. That way its special you come down Xmas day and the tree is up its xmas, not like today where its up in November?

Brainwashed? By a Christmas that they use to enjoy before their mother lost interest?

Give over.

it's not all about her. why is that concept so hard for you?

I agree with this actually she might really struggle at Christmas for her own reasons and you buying a "happy box" might just be rubbing her nose in it.

can you invite them to a local panto or something?