The 2023 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2023 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@YuletideSolace Oh, goodness! They sound like they would be heavenly. Od definitely go for orange, too (I adore orange flavoured cakes) I got some christmassy house silicone cake moulds from hobbycraft recently. I think I might go for some classic gingerbread ones and vanilla and choc orange marble with a dusting of icing. I'm probably much better off pouring my energy into something like this than doing the annual gingerbread house that never gets eaten!

Mmm. Cakes...

I got the Crumble topped mince pies with cranberry and orange in my Waitrose delivery last night. My intention is to see if I can replicate them myself as a bit of a change up from the usual mince pies. Obviously I had to buy two boxes for research purposes.

@RainbowZebraWarrior that sounds like very important research! I am not doing cooking this year as we are travelling (internationally) on the 21st so I won't be able to transport anything but I might have to do some gingerbread for pre-Christmas treats.

I have a question about gingerbread houses (never made one before but the cutters were on sale in Hobbycraft last summer). Do you just bake a massive sheet of gingerbread then cut the pieces while it's still hot out of the oven? I find my gingerbread seems to spread a lot during baking. (Any suggestions for decoration or photos of others' efforts much appreciated)

@Nothingbuttheglory you can do it both ways. The former is better if you like your lines to be neat.

Kinda wish I could make a house too.

Thank you, that's very helpful

@Trumpton could you do your guide for Paperwhites again this year please?

@YuletideSolace; could you add cinnamon to the orange ones, to make them more Christmassy?

Oh yes @sueelleker that’s always a good combination! Hmmm lots of possibilities..........would also quite like something that lends itself well to being coloured red.

@YuletideSolace cranberry and orange maybe?

Yes @TheBucktoothedGirlFromLuxembourg that could be good too. Oh I’ll have to go on a cake deep dive now, I think!

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

@VivaJen

Paperwhite masterclass (get me!) to follow. I had Covid jab today and have to set my alarm for 5.45am to try for Tesco Christmas slot so am off to bed.

I did paperwhites last year and they smelled like wee?! Not sure if I did something wrong - they were Sarah raven ones. Not doing them again this year after that! Love the smell of hyacinths though so may get a few to dot about the house.

Yeah I didn't like that either so I won't do them again.

Ah sorry about your Paperwhite smell 😞
I can’t cope with lilies in the house at all so I sympathise.
You could look at different bulbs for forcing. Did you tip the initial water away and replace with diluted alcohol? Just wondering if the smell was the water if the pebbles weren’t clean.
hmmmmm I sympathise.

My paperwhites took months to grow last year, I think they finally flowered about Feb. I have started some off again this year but the container they are in is very small and I think they will topple over so I am going to re-pot them at the weekend. Annoyingly I can’t find the one I used last year which was perfect. I’ve got 3 hyacinths started in glasses too, I do them every year, start them off in September and bring them out into the light at the start of December.

I think I bought paper whites to force one year based on this thread and then remembered my allergies so never bothered to try. I can’t even have daffodils in the house now in spring so it’s definitely not worth it for me.

@Trumpton I followed your instruction regarding alcohol and mine still had it.

It’s probably just that some people are more sensitive to whatever causes that particular smell. I don’t like lilies either for that reason!

I've started Christmas 2023 today 🌲

I'm in the middle of making some candied orange peel and I've made a batch of pickled pears to have with cold meats and cheese.

Here they are plus this evening I'm making a start on the music prep with my favourite Christmas music books

Also did anyone see the Christmas Charcuterie tree idea in this week's Aldi leaflet ? I definitely will be making one of those of picking on Christmas night. Regrettably I have to work nights on Christmas Eve abd day 😤

Next job is planning the Christmas gift boxes, I've done them fir a couple of years fir my Uncle, my Godmother abd my piano teacher. My uncle died this year so it will just be two this year. Plus here is my cake from last year. We all love marzipan so I made a simnel style cake and decorated it with marzipan flowers :)
I'm a pastry chef by trade and I love crimbo poncing

@80skid ref tinsel I have the same argument every year. My compromise is that I shove it in quite deep and it does actually give some depth to the decorations and catches the fairy lights quite nicely

@StiffyByngsDogBartholomew your cake is beautiful

@StiffyByngsDogBartholomew Ohhh those are all utterly delightful!

They'd love you on the poncetastic thread (if you're not already on it)!

Sorry about your uncle.