The 2023 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2023 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

I ordered the ingredients for Jamie Oliver Get Ahead Gravy so that’s this weekend
I also went to The Works and their Christmas crafts are half price. I got cross stitch cards and gem sets and little felt sewing sets and cards and embroidery silks.

Halloween is over so now full speed ahead for Christmas!
I sent DH out to get me all the ingredients for mincemeat this morning. DS will be home for the weekend so I'll make a batch of mince pies and light a festive candle to make it feel extra homely.
I bought 2 christmas magazines last week which I've been flicking through, there are quite a few things I want to try.

Ooh and bought myself a needle felting kit as I want to make a couple of ornaments to go on the tree. Had a go yesterday just to see how I got on, I shan't be posting the photos 😂

Mincemeat is infusing 🤤

I love all of you, I'm glad I'm.not the only one putting on Christmas music now Halloween is over! And watching Christmas films.

Yesterday DH bought me Christmas Good Food and another magazine. I love this time of year. Got my fruit ready to soak for a cake. I didn't do bramble gin this year so I wonder what other things you all do to make festive cocktails? Usually toss some bramble gin in either lemonade, but I'd like a change.

I may try the make ahead gravy this year- am.i right in thinking there is something you all usually leave out? I've never made it before.

@LaChatte how lovely! We’ll be making ours soon.

@Soscrewed I sometimes make cranberry gin which looks suitably festive. Someone on the Christmas Chronicles thread posted a recipe for gingerbread gin which I thought sounded good. They made gingerbread latté espresso martinis with it.

Also it’s probably the star anise that some people leave out of the gravy (I’ve never made it).

I used to do Jamie's make ahead gravy (we're vegetarian now) and I remember leaving the star anis out as it really ruined the flavour.

These are the two magazines I bought, the food one is definitely more interesting than the gardening one, but they both help get in the Christmas spirit.

I'm another that left the star anise out when doing Jamie's gravy. I hate aniseed and don't get why it seems to pop up in so many Christmas recipes. Mind, I'm also going to be controversial and say that his gravy is not worth the mess and faff (I'm assuming it's the one with the smashed up chicken wings?)

I agree, not worth the faff.

@Soscrewed I love a Snowball cocktail, Eggnog would be traditional, I also love a hot cocktail so like hot chocolate with a good slug of Baileys, or another hot cocktail which is warm milk with Bailey's and Amaretto. Yum.

@RainbowZebraWarrior and @LaChatte would you use a different recipe for making the gravy in advance? That's the main draw for me, that if it goes wrong, i've got plenty of time to try again.

I usually double up when doing Sunday roast and then freeze half.

Ah, I don't do Sunday roasts, and i'm a very shit nervous gravy maker.

Sausages and mash with gravy? Could be an easy way to start practicing.

That's a pretty great idea, I love bangers and mash and haven't had it in ages. Would you use the same gravy for that as with poultry though?

I suppose I'd just change stock cubes and possibly use white wine or cider instead of red wine for poultry, but that's the joy of practicing you can tweak it until you find something you really like.

@NutellaEllaElla You would make your turkey gravy the same as you would with a chicken gravy, just with a few extra elements thrown in to make it more luxurious/special/festive. So I’d probably practice with a chicken gravy until you’re happy (you can follow a Christmas/turkey recipe), then make it in advance and all you will need to do is add the turkey juices on the day and reduce back down.

A Sunday roast is perfect practice for Christmas dinner! Perhaps have one or two in the coming weeks?

(Sorry if that comes across as patronising! - I often do when I’m trying to be helpful, but really don’t mean to)

I’m going to take out my Christmas cookery books today and have a little read through. I can’t remember which gravy recipe I usually follow! Probably because I end up tweaking it a bit anyway, so it’s more like a broad outline.

@YuletideSolace don't worry, I didn't feel you were being patronising. I said I am scared of making gravy lol. It doesn't help that I don't much like a roast chicken dinner, I don't like turkey much either! So I haven't much practice. People seem to like this make ahead madeira gravy so I might try that.

@NutellaEllaElla Phew! Could you play a wild card and not do turkey? Seems a shame to have to do a load of work for something you won't even enjoy!

Haha not a chance, it's ok I do Brussel Sprouts too and I don't like them but generally I'm good, plus that date and port sauce linked above makes anything edible for me.

Hehe fair enough, I know for a lot of people the turkey is non-negotiable!

Hope you find the perfect recipe!

I'm scared to confess that I usually buy gravy ready made from M&S 😳

I make everything else, stuffing, bloody fiddly Parsnip Roulade, braised red cabbage, Pudding, mincemeat, everything except gravy...

I'm vegetarian, I have one oven and cook for 10ish people um, um...

Excuses and not very Poncetastic. I can see the BBC madeira gravy looks easy enough. I might try it and see.

Currently auditioning vegan main course options as youngest DC is vegan this year. Any favourite vegan options suggestions?