The 2023 Poncetastic Christmas Thread

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2023 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she may be) at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

It does! Thank you. I have cutters so will give it a test run while things are quiet.

I am feeling very behind and might have to make like @Ladybughouse / Margot and have Christmas delivered this year.
The new house needs a mountain of work, I have to rearrange the fitted kitchen before new oven can be safely installed. The instant pot is doing some heavy lifting atm but don’t think it can make a Christmas cake!
I am knitting a monkey jumper which will be a gift for DD, if I get finished in time she might also get a Christmas one!

It is apparently possible to air fry Christmas, game on….
https://uk.instantbrands.com/download-our-recipes-in-ebook-format/

There are fruit cake recipes for the IP. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwi48_OAspGCAxUQQEEAHQFlAtYQFnoECA4QAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Finstantpoteats.com%2Finstant-pot-fruit-cake%2F&usg=AOvVaw3uY6-oHIkrVakWuDBv-wbl&opi=89978449

I have a Halloween poncing question - I’m planning to make toffee apples for trick or treaters, but I’m stumped as to what to wrap the apples in, I don’t want to use cling film… any ideas? I really don’t like plastic touching food.

Also if you’ve made toffee apples before, any tips welcome.

Waxed paper, like this? https://www.amazon.co.uk/PLULON-Halloween-Sandwich-Wrapping-Decorations/dp/B0CF951714/

I'd use cellophane bags, cellophane is plant based so its not (IMO) as bad as plastic from petrochemicals and I think it is biodegradable. Hard to beat for the clear shiny appearance. I have to say I don't think either of my DCs would have been keen on them though, they never liked toffee apples and neither do I.

Thank you both for the suggestions, I'll go ahead with one of these options :)

Cellophane bags would be great for handing out Christmas baking too, I'm just looking at Christmas-themed ones on the Lakeland website.

I'll see how the toffee apples are received, last year I mixed sweets and fruits in the bowl I offered and there was fighting over the plums.

They are glorious 😍 well done you !

Absolutely lovely idea BUT be aware that unless you know the children a alot of parents will throw away not pre packaged treats .. we know everyone that my children go to but if we didn't I wouldn't let them eat something a stranger had made because of hygiene and safety.. i know alot of people are the same , sorry to be a party proper but I wanted to pre warn as your making such a lovely effort x

I adored this thread last year, by a woman who offered potatoes as well as sweets for Halloween: https://twitter.com/jana_pruden/status/1587236612303642625

I love reading these threads, so thought I'd join in for once! Last year's family gifts were homemade food related, this year I'm hoping to do pinecone wreaths that can be re-used every year. I've made the wreath base from the wisteria in my garden, and found a ton of pinecones which I've painted festive colours...now to pray it all sticks together!

If anyone has done anything similar I'd love some pics for inspiration?

@SqueakyDinosaur I was just thinking of the ‘potato lady’ too! 😊

@Fromthebirdsnest I should've mentioned, we have 7-8 children (mine included) in the cul-de-sac and they trick or treat together on our street only, we even check beforehand which neighbours are OK with it.
You are absolutely right re food from strangers, I'm one of those parents, that's why we do contained TorT with neighbours we know.

The potato story is so tempting, but I haven't offered vegetables yet. :)

I also have some Autumn poncing, which I think someone up thread was asking about....I used fake garlands from my wedding and stuck some leaves on, very cheap and easy. The heather in the orange vase was from my front garden, and my lovely friend made the little pumpkin candle. I've done a matching wreath for the front door with another garland.

Loving the potato story. I once had to resort to fruit and was running back and forth to the kitchen, grabbing apples, bananas and satsumas all night after running out of sweets. Turns out that word had gotten around about our street (we go all out with the decorations and also used to do a Halloween trail) We just can't keep up with it now. I swear they even come from the next village!

I have been making snowball pom-poms as part of the white “Buddy the Elf” theme for the sunroom.
I also bought two Elf pillowcases from ebay that I am making cushion covers from.
I have lots of Kraft paper crackers from last year and am using Buddy paper napkins to decoupage them and add yellow ribbons.
Today I made a photo book for a friend’s Christmas present. Every year they paint a different handmade card, I have 25 of them so made a photo book hopefully in the right order!

Lovely autumn poncing @DecemberSkies!

I’ve not made any pinecone wreaths so can’t help on inspiration. But there are probably loads of videos on YouTube!

@Trumpton love the theme for this year! Sounds like fun.

I’ve just been watching some episodes of Nigella’s Christmas Kitchen. Feeling thoroughly festive now!

I think I'm on track, 2 puddings made, mincemeat made, big cake made. Yesterday I tried to make individual cakes in baked bean tins, they're a bit bigger than I expected but I think they're ok. They don't look particularly pretty right now but I'm hoping that once decorated they'll make a nice gift

@VivaJen they will look lovely once decorated, I always find cakes look messy just out the oven!

I have ordered a set of soft white lights on Amazon to colour in with sharpies, hoping they get here quickly (3 week delivery time as i'm far from anywhere sensible). Would like to have them done in time to be up for at least a week before we travel. I have decided I am going to decorate the house just not get a tree as we have a dog sitter staying for the whole holiday period so it will be nice and festive for her even if I won't be around to enjoy it!

Has anyone tried using Isomalt for cake decorations?
I bought some from Lakeland. The idea was to make those biscuits with “stained glass” panels. I’ve done them before with bashed up boiled sweets but thought Isomalt would be easier to use.
But what I really wanted to do was to make some 3D decorations for the Christmas cake. I saw a way of pouring the Isomalt over crushed ice cubes; when the ice melts you are left with a twisted bark effect substance.
Has anyone tried using this stuff and if so, any hints and suggestions please?

@TrickyD I tried it for dd1's birthday cake to make jewels but failed at the first go & gave up 🙈

Definitely use something glass to melt it in & you need to work fairly quickly if using small quantities.

Only just found you all! Got a lot to catch up

Well no trick or treaters round here last night so now it’s full steam ahead for Christmas.

Yes, I tend to hold off till after Hallowe'en to some extent. then Remembrance Sunday but after that it's all about Christmas. Hoping for a weekend of cooking and baking this weekend.