Any family dramas ?!?!?

Ilovechoc12 · 2022-12-23T17:45:53+00:00

Oh my god it was the dog last yr - which ended up - my dad being in the travel lodge. This yr it's my brothers girl friends cat travelling from Scotland! Why don't they use a cattery ?!?!? It better not turn up in a cage at my house. I'm not in for surprises as that's the way they think they can trick me by turning up randomly. 😂😂😂😂😂 We have no animals - I don't want animals. I do love them but equally don't want them I've got enough to deal with 4 children. Therefore please don't think you can bring your animals to stay at my houses over Xmas. I have enough stuff to deal with hosting 20 people without any animals. I think I might drink too much tonight so I'm not stressed - as I've just learnt about the cat one hr ago. What's your family dramas .....?????

Bogglebrain · 23/12/2022 17:54

No dramas here but just wanted to say I totally agree with you!! Hope it all goes well!

Ragwort · 23/12/2022 17:57

Did they ask if they could bring a cat? Shocking.

No dramas here ... yet.

Jules912 · 23/12/2022 17:59

Anyone who tried this with me would get turned away as I and DD are allergic to cats.

tinofbeans · 23/12/2022 18:03

Our current drama is we've brought DDs pet giant African land snails with us to DPs for Christmas.
The snails need to be kept 21-24 degrees. DPs have their house at 18 max. After much handwringing, we have compromised and the snails will live in the airing cupboard for our stay

Original poster

Ilovechoc12 · 23/12/2022 18:05

I'm going to refuse them at the front door.

They haven't mentioned it as they know a billion percent I would say NO.

They are hoping to let the kids see the cat ..... and I'm a mean mummy.

If they want their Xmas meal - they better not bring the cat to my front door.

The poor cat will of travelled scotland to London 😳😳😳😳😳 surely a cattery is better.

My husband was saying is it a cat on a lead , a boxed cat. God knows.

All I know is I don't want a cat 😡

Someone else must have more stresses? Gosh I love mumsnet 😘 x

OP posts:

Original poster

Ilovechoc12 · 23/12/2022 18:09

tinofbeans · 23/12/2022 18:03

Our current drama is we've brought DDs pet giant African land snails with us to DPs for Christmas.
The snails need to be kept 21-24 degrees. DPs have their house at 18 max. After much handwringing, we have compromised and the snails will live in the airing cupboard for our stay

Just the one? Or a couple

OP posts:

yaflouloci · 23/12/2022 18:30

Christmas is a comedy really isn't it. Why do families behave like you and yours?

It's very entertaining.

bigbluebus · 23/12/2022 18:34

Someone was asking about kennels for Christmas Eve/Day on our local Facebook page the other day. My immediate thought was that they've just told a relative they're bringing the dog and the relative has said "not a chance".

Overthebow · 23/12/2022 18:34

tinofbeans · 23/12/2022 18:03

Our current drama is we've brought DDs pet giant African land snails with us to DPs for Christmas.
The snails need to be kept 21-24 degrees. DPs have their house at 18 max. After much handwringing, we have compromised and the snails will live in the airing cupboard for our stay

You brought snails that have to be kept warm to someone’s house for Christmas? I hope you offered to pay the heating bill.

Thatsshallot1967 · 23/12/2022 18:43

tinofbeans · 23/12/2022 18:03

Our current drama is we've brought DDs pet giant African land snails with us to DPs for Christmas.
The snails need to be kept 21-24 degrees. DPs have their house at 18 max. After much handwringing, we have compromised and the snails will live in the airing cupboard for our stay

Sorry, not the point of the thread but itching to see a photo of these two snails (Ok I know I can Google but...). Op, I wouldn't want pets either.

Original poster

Ilovechoc12 · 23/12/2022 18:44

Also, I have weird thought of snail trails on bedding 😬😬😬😬 will they be in a cage? Oh gosh I'm not sure I could deal with snails in my house 😂😂😂

OP posts:

imnotthatkindofmum · 23/12/2022 19:09

SIL is hosting on 28th. She has 2 teeny tiny dogs. My daughter is severely dog phobic (and not NT- relevant as she struggles to deal with life generally so we do avoid exposing her to stressful situations unnecessarily).

Last time they came to us they brought the dogs but had them on leads in the garden. DD felt ok with that as she could go indoors or to her room (and we had asked her first) but can't be in the house with them. She won't be coming with us on 28th. None of DHs family will get it because they're tiny dogs. It makes no difference to DD a dog is a dog. DD is also 16 so they feel she should grow out of it I guess!

I expect some passive aggressive comments about it!

PoseyFlump · 23/12/2022 19:14

Have you got a spare bedroom for the cat? The cat won't want to be there either! Poor thing.

5YearsLeft · 23/12/2022 19:17

I don’t even know if they’re family but they’re all I have. My Christmases just keep getting more and more awful. I’m dying, and my husband decided to divorce me and get remarried before I ACTUALLY died so that his second wife, who was one of my best friends, could get a visa for the country where we live. I live with them because I’m too sick to live anywhere else, and too young and poor to live in a cradle-to-death home.

She invited his mother, who still acts like my MIL, for all of Christmas. MIL has early-onset Alzheimer’s and has called saying that her plane ticket demands she do all kinds of things and she can’t make heads or tails of it (she’s just flying EasyJet which she’s done 100s of times before so it’s heartbreaking). This is all being communicated to second wife, who she likes much more than me. I heard second wife telling MIL that they’ve scheduled a Christmas video call with my former DH’s family back in America - a group of people who used to really like me, but have apparently decided that I’ve one foot in the grave and it’s time to focus on the second wife.

I’m going to try to sleep through Christmas so I don’t have to deal with any of it. I miss Scotland (homesick), I miss my grandparents who used to make Christmas special (both dead), I’m stuck with:

a man who claims he still loves me (pull the other one; it’s got bells on it),
his new wife who hasn’t been speaking to me for over a year because she claims that me being depressed and bordering on suicidal over my illness and all I’d lost traumatized her, and normally I’d feel quite guilty for exposing that to someone, even unintentionally, except part of my depression was her treating me with such a huge amount of contempt for a year solid while she was choosing to live in our flat, completely funded by us, and trying to get together with my husband, while my condition was worsening and I was vomiting blood. It’s been months since she’s spoken a single word to me, and two years of monosyllabic treatment before that. (Oh, and I know, I have an enormous “D”H problem, but she was also one of my best friends, so I didn’t expect sudden daily hatred and contempt).
And my MIL, who won’t remember all the hurtful things she’s said to me in the past 15 years. And will become unruly if someone gives her any plonk, which the new wife probably will.

Fingers crossed my “sleep through it all” plan works, which should be easy because I feel like shite. I wish more than anything in the world I could have hopped on a plane to absolutely anywhere and not been here, but I’m just too sick. Hopping on a plane might kill me, and I’ll never qualify for travel insurance as I haven’t for years, but it would be worth it. And maybe if I sleep through everything, I can dream of winning the lottery, buying a cottage in Scotland, and spending Christmas there with my grandparents back with me. Or even just one person who loved me. What a Christmastide clusterfuck.

SugarCookieMonster · 23/12/2022 19:19

DH’s family were due at 4pm. DS(4) was suddenly ill yesterday with high temp (turned out to be an ear and throat infection) and is on antibiotics. Informed everyone that the visit would probably need to be a bit shorter as he’ll want to go to bed earlier than normal.

4pm - no sign of them.

5pm - no sign.

6pm - they arrived.

DS had been crying all day to see them so it’s been unbearable and every minute felt like an hour. We haven’t had dinner as there were repeated promises of “leaving soon”, “won’t be long”.

Now DS is riding the high of a big family visit, masses of presents and general Christmas excitement and not in bed yet. DH has gone to get us a McDonalds as we’re hangry and fed up.

Drawing a line under that and channeling my inner Scarlet O’Hara! 🎄

Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 23/12/2022 19:20

Paid over the odds for a turkey and now 2 x dc have decided they aren't contributing to Christmas food shopping
. Have told them I hope they find an open McDonald's..

Redcisco · 23/12/2022 19:21

Two immediate family members had a huge row earlier this year. It’s very frustrating as one of my siblings and I saw it coming - tried to warn them not to do xyz because it was bound to end in tears. Nope didn’t listen so here we are, stuck in the middle of it all.
We knew there would be sides taken over Christmas so we both decided we and our dps/kids would go abroad for Christmas. Of course everyone is invited but both sides said “I’m not going if x is invited” so that was our way to dodge the Christmas drama.
Problem is, relative A has decided to host everyone else from the family.
Relative B has no idea yet and is just planning a quiet one at home.
Im dreading the social media post or whatever where B finds they’ve all got together without them. I can just imagine them getting in the car, driving round there and kicking off. Then calling me and my sibling in tears down the phone and ruining our day too.
Apart from we have a pact. First sign of trouble we’re turning off our phones and ordering margaritas.

DarkKarmaIlama · 23/12/2022 19:28

My mother in law has decided to tell the whole family she’s now ready to die and wants to end it all. How considerate of her the day before Xmas eve.

Her adult kids have suitably ignored her and carried on with their baking. (There is a back story and I can assure you all adult siblings are not devoid of empathy).

5YearsLeft · 23/12/2022 19:31

Redcisco · 23/12/2022 19:21

Two immediate family members had a huge row earlier this year. It’s very frustrating as one of my siblings and I saw it coming - tried to warn them not to do xyz because it was bound to end in tears. Nope didn’t listen so here we are, stuck in the middle of it all.
We knew there would be sides taken over Christmas so we both decided we and our dps/kids would go abroad for Christmas. Of course everyone is invited but both sides said “I’m not going if x is invited” so that was our way to dodge the Christmas drama.
Problem is, relative A has decided to host everyone else from the family.
Relative B has no idea yet and is just planning a quiet one at home.
Im dreading the social media post or whatever where B finds they’ve all got together without them. I can just imagine them getting in the car, driving round there and kicking off. Then calling me and my sibling in tears down the phone and ruining our day too.
Apart from we have a pact. First sign of trouble we’re turning off our phones and ordering margaritas.

Sounds like a brilliant pact on your part!

@Redcisco Does the rest of the family think relative A is “in the right”? Because otherwise, why are all the family supporting relative A in leaving relative B out like that, at Christmas? Talk about taking a side.

Freesia41 · 23/12/2022 19:36

5YearsLeft · 23/12/2022 19:17

I don’t even know if they’re family but they’re all I have. My Christmases just keep getting more and more awful. I’m dying, and my husband decided to divorce me and get remarried before I ACTUALLY died so that his second wife, who was one of my best friends, could get a visa for the country where we live. I live with them because I’m too sick to live anywhere else, and too young and poor to live in a cradle-to-death home.

She invited his mother, who still acts like my MIL, for all of Christmas. MIL has early-onset Alzheimer’s and has called saying that her plane ticket demands she do all kinds of things and she can’t make heads or tails of it (she’s just flying EasyJet which she’s done 100s of times before so it’s heartbreaking). This is all being communicated to second wife, who she likes much more than me. I heard second wife telling MIL that they’ve scheduled a Christmas video call with my former DH’s family back in America - a group of people who used to really like me, but have apparently decided that I’ve one foot in the grave and it’s time to focus on the second wife.

I’m going to try to sleep through Christmas so I don’t have to deal with any of it. I miss Scotland (homesick), I miss my grandparents who used to make Christmas special (both dead), I’m stuck with:

a man who claims he still loves me (pull the other one; it’s got bells on it),
his new wife who hasn’t been speaking to me for over a year because she claims that me being depressed and bordering on suicidal over my illness and all I’d lost traumatized her, and normally I’d feel quite guilty for exposing that to someone, even unintentionally, except part of my depression was her treating me with such a huge amount of contempt for a year solid while she was choosing to live in our flat, completely funded by us, and trying to get together with my husband, while my condition was worsening and I was vomiting blood. It’s been months since she’s spoken a single word to me, and two years of monosyllabic treatment before that. (Oh, and I know, I have an enormous “D”H problem, but she was also one of my best friends, so I didn’t expect sudden daily hatred and contempt).
And my MIL, who won’t remember all the hurtful things she’s said to me in the past 15 years. And will become unruly if someone gives her any plonk, which the new wife probably will.

Fingers crossed my “sleep through it all” plan works, which should be easy because I feel like shite. I wish more than anything in the world I could have hopped on a plane to absolutely anywhere and not been here, but I’m just too sick. Hopping on a plane might kill me, and I’ll never qualify for travel insurance as I haven’t for years, but it would be worth it. And maybe if I sleep through everything, I can dream of winning the lottery, buying a cottage in Scotland, and spending Christmas there with my grandparents back with me. Or even just one person who loved me. What a Christmastide clusterfuck.

I don't even have words 😯

That is so awful and I hope Christmas passes quickly for you.

MysteryBelle · 23/12/2022 19:47

I love my cat but no way I’d demand to bring him to someone else’s house.

You don’t have to accept that. Very rude of them.

Glenthebattleostrich · 23/12/2022 20:03

@5yearsleft Sending huge hugs to you along with the hope your ex and his new wife get herpes and piles.

This year we are being unreasonable (again) because we don't see why our DD should do Christmas in a hotel so are staying at home. We aren't invited anywhere xmas day, you understand but we should be in the area in case people want to see us. We are going up to visit on boxing day where MIL (with dementia) Will accuse me of stealing things and get drunk and aggressive. She used to be sweet but the dementia causes hallucinations and she shouldn't drink but she sneaks them somehow.

My family are having a strop because we are getting together on 27th and mum has suggested we all chip in £10 for a buffet. Apparently I should pay because we only have one child and apparently have more disposable income (you know after paying for dog sitters, petrol, hotels and gifts for 23 people). Very close yo telling everyone to fuck off and stay at home with a bottle of baileys.

5YearsLeft · 23/12/2022 20:04

@Freesia41 Thanks for the Christmas passing quickly wishes. I look around and can’t believe this is my life either. I just hope keep hoping… I don’t know. That there’s some hope.

BashfulClam · 23/12/2022 20:07

We told MIL she can’t stay overnight as we have nowhere for her to stay just now. She lives 15 minutes drive away and DH rarely drinks so is happy to drop her home as late as she wants. She said ‘oh I can sleep on the floor’ at 75 no you can’t.

imnotthatkindofmum · 23/12/2022 20:15

@5YearsLeft what a crappy time for you! If you were in the UK near me I'd be coming to get you right now to spend Xmas in a happy home. So sorry.