Gentle thread for those of us who would just like Xmas over with

[Durango]

It feels like you’re not allowed to say it.

But i don’t feel excited by Xmas, I don’t feel the magic, I don’t feel cosy or sparkly.

I feel like I’d like it to be summer. I’d like the sun to set past 9pm. I want the kids to play out. I want the whole bloody false joviality over and done with.

Anyone else?

What decorations? :D

I have never put a tree up, don't hang decorations, don't send or (thankfully) receive xmas cards. I can not abide clutter, and I just see it as pointless tat. When I lived with my ex they would go off to their parents on the 23rd for the duration, so the collection of tat built up in the mantlepiece would immediately get binned as soon as they were out of the door. Came back none the wiser.

I appreciate it's different for people with children, but I'd be lying if I said that thinking about things like the utter chaos of christmas wasn't a very small part of the reason I made a conscious choice never to have any.

Hold fast folks - it’s nearly over

I’m taking the advice of previous posters and taking two hours tonight to myself for a bath and wine and to read my book.

yhis time tomorrow it will nearly be done x

That sounds wonderful!
I’m just checking in to see how everyone is. Yes, this time tomorrow the biggest bits will be done.

I am finding the emotionality hard. Everyone sends messages like it’s their last day on earth.

Have done a donation to a charity for my best friend & he was delighted. My kids are bigger & we will have a treasure hunt for small gifts which will warm everyone up - they can be tricky, even though divorce was smooth.

They’re not arriving until midday. I find that upsetting, we used to have excited mornings when they were small. My ex is hogging them. First year of us all doing presents separately as ex and I are amicable but this year it’s different. But I don’t mind. Time to introduce my own traditions & to sort of prepare for grandchildren in future future years. A move away from my triggering past.

One day at a time. Friend arriving, food under control & I will hibernate for a bit once it’s over.

Stay strong, lovely people 💖

I put my decorations down at the last possible minute. My ds insists on us time, which makes it more bearable. We have beige food (ok, “canapés”) and get out the baby pictures they all made through the years.

Take them down beginning Jan as that was when my mum died - many years ago now, I was young - & it feels symbolic. Deatherversary ahead. Sigh. Doesn’t get easier.

I took my Christmas cards down this afternoon. There is only DH and me as we’re going to daughter’s for Christmas Day and doing our own thing after that. They were bugging me, making the living room look cluttered, so down they have come. Our tree is a sweet subtle winter one, as opposed to the full on Christmas variety. I’ve just decorated with a small number of red baubles like berries. It’s pretty and I like it a lot on these short winter days, so I may keep this one up for the maximum time 🙂

I would take the tree down on boxing day but it's dd birthday on new years day and she always wants her presents under the tree. So I take it down that evening!

I don't like Christmas but I loathe new year, I just think 'oh god , another year gone and I wonder what shit awaits me in the next one'

I'm with you OP!

@Durango
i feel exactly the same. What I wouldn’t give to be sitting in the garden in the sunshine playing with my Grandkids or reading a book. 😎

@AnnieSnap that's a lovely tree 😊🎄

I have a Christmas tree, but it's very subdued this year, only me here and too much would just provide fun for the cats! It'll probably come down on Boxing Day as I can't stand clutter 😳 The cards will come down then too.

Same !!

Thank you @ItsMeHiImTheProblem 🙂

Thank you for sharing. I feel the same, it is just three of us every Christmas (DD, DH and myself). I feel incredibly sorry for my DD, as she will not experience the family Christmases I use to have with family members, as we have no one. I also feel I have to compensate some how to try and make up for it.

I usually love Christmas but this year we'll be missing my much loved FiL who died in June. My MiL is in hospital but currently there's no chance of her coming home soon , where showing some improvement to the flu with antibiotics but she still isn't well enough generally to come home.

I'm also recovering from the flu. Today's been the first day I've not felt dreadful

That’s beautiful!

Ahhh @Walnutwhipsarenothesame thank you 🙂

Yeah not feeling Christmassy at all. My marriage ended recently and one of my parents has cancer. Feeling pretty flat. No decorations, cba. Enjoyed some nice cheese though.

I’m really feeling quite down and bleak inside. 3 kids - single parent. No family nearby. Mum passed away. My 7 year old is so excited and I will smile on the outside for her and the other two but 15 yo DS is neurodiverse and v challenging. He stayed in bed all day today.
cost of living and cost of gas is crazy. I feel so lonely.
my older two will be disappointed at the lack of presents this year but I kids are so obsessed by money these days.
I wish I had some support and company popping in. It can get pretty intense and there will be rages from my DS.

Solitbup with boyfriend last night. My decision I realised the relationship is too like the dynamic with my ex after a series of incidents yesterday. We weren’t going to be together today anyway will be doing outdoor activities with friends but will be so glad to get the whole thing out of the way as others have said is pervasive-just no escape from it.

Hi @parapluiepliant - hope your day is going ok. I am also single parent but with 2 - eldest is neurodiverse and very challenging as well ( although only 10). It’s just me and them all day and I also feel lonely and just so tired ( had a major operation recently which has kind of highlighted how alone I am).

To top it off went for a shower and they’ve managed to break a Christmas decoration I’ve had for years that my dad ( who died a few years ago) gave me. Broke it throwing their new cuddlies around that I’d already asked them to stop.

Sometimes I just wish there was another adult to speak to!

Finding it tough. Have done all the jobs and cleaning in the house. Trying to avoid social media. I know I will have a nice time with the kids tomorrow but I have never spent Xmas alone and just feel so sad and empty. I'm under the care of a mh crisis team, have been for 6 weeks but know they will be very busy today.

@parapluiepliant I hear you too. Single mum
To dd 10 with autism, not much family left now, lost my sister 6 years ago and mum two months ago. Christmas just feels very grey now. We were supposed to be meeting my brother for Christmas drinks last night but we had to veto that due
To my dd refusing to get dressed ! V v hard.

Hope you are all ok. Just the home straight to go now