Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Gentle thread for those of us who would just like Xmas over with

149 replies

Durango · 22/12/2022 22:27

It feels like you’re not allowed to say it.

But i don’t feel excited by Xmas, I don’t feel the magic, I don’t feel cosy or sparkly.

I feel like I’d like it to be summer. I’d like the sun to set past 9pm. I want the kids to play out. I want the whole bloody false joviality over and done with.

Anyone else?

OP posts:
countrygirl99 · 23/12/2022 05:45

I'm not a massive fan. It was nice when DC were small but now it's just a bit dull. This year will he difficult. DH and I both lost our dad's this year, MIL moved into a care home and my mum has dementia. Mum and dad used to prefer going to my brother who lived in the same town as them but he's moved away. So Christmas day I'm doing a 2 hour round trip to pick her up and the same to take her back Boxing Day morning before visiting MIL in the afternoon. Mum will spend her time alternating between crying about dad and asking the same 3 or 4 questions on repeat and will find being somewhere different very confusing. She hasn't been to our house fir 6 years since dad stopped driving - Mum could drive, just hated driving to our house as it's country lanes. We can't go to hers as we have animals and mum doesn't have a cooker - if it can't be done on a hob or in the microwave she isn't interested.

Mariposa26 · 23/12/2022 05:52

I am not a fan of Christmas either. It seems like everyone has a huge happy family (I know they don’t) and my situation isn’t like that. The only good thing is that it’s the only time of year I get a proper break from work without being bothered on annual leave.

sanityisamyth · 23/12/2022 06:07

Poke · 22/12/2022 23:27

Yes, I’m not a fan. Much prefer summer.

I go through the motions, but don’t get any enjoyment out of it.

This. Christmas also has horrific memories for me. I've never had a "good" Christmas in nearly 40 years. I just don't see the point.

Theskyoutsideisblue · 23/12/2022 06:16

I can’t stand it.all so forced down our throat

Walnutwhipsarenothesame · 23/12/2022 06:24

I enjoyed it her. My kids were young. Now I dread it. It all falls on me . I find it totally exhausting and it’s all for other people. Compounded by the fact that eldest won’t be here as it’s his first Xmas with his partners family . That feels very sad.

Walnutwhipsarenothesame · 23/12/2022 06:24

When my kids

AuntieMarys · 23/12/2022 06:28

HowVeryBizarre · 23/12/2022 04:57

Of course you should be allowed to say it. It has got to be the time of year when there is the greatest pressure for everyone to conform to this bizarre, essentially extremely conservative idea of what family is and what “a proper Christmas” should look like. I actually love Christmas but tbh I am really starting to get extremely tired of having to produce a magical experience for my now grown up kids where any deviation from tradition is greeted with howls of outrage. I gently suggested going away this year only to have my eldest guilt me because I am supposed to continue it now for his kids. For how long? Shoot me now!

Please don't do it next year. Do what YOU want, not what your adult dcs want. What an awful attitude your son has towards you.....treating you like a doormat.
Don't be a martyr.

gettingolderandgrumpier · 23/12/2022 06:29

Tbh I think more people think like you op but feel they can’t be honest .
people can be so selfish at Christmas so yes it can be a stressful and for many not enjoyable time .

Tippletoomany · 23/12/2022 06:30

I get it, honestly. Christmas has always been a bit of a struggle since I was no longer a child anymore but now what I appreciate is just having the time off from work (I know everyone isn’t so lucky), seeing my family, eating loads of lovely food and there being a better selection of TV programmes on!

I think some people get so drawn into it and I can imagine if you have family issues or lots of friends who all want to do things it can be a stressful time of year. I’m a bit of a hermit and have a small family so think that’s where a lot of the stress is taken away from me!

Lovelycupofcoffee · 23/12/2022 06:32

I hate it and just want it to end. It starts in September now so by December it’s so done already. Love the time off work but not everyone has a huge family they love spending time with . It’s to commercialised and false. Everyone is having an amazing time is not the truth and for a lot of people it’s a very lonely and hard time of year .

fastandthecurious1 · 23/12/2022 06:32

I'm excited to give my loved ones the gifts I've bought them and to see my 4 year old enjoy the day. Other than that I wish it would all just pass me over I lost both parents within the last 18 months and just feel incredibly lonely that they aren't with me so yeah I'll do my best but inwardly I feel under water with the whole Christmas spirit

StitchL · 23/12/2022 06:37

A year ago today I found out I'd had a MMC. I had to wait till Boxing Day for surgery, so the time of year is bringing it back and I just want it over with again.

Bestcatmum · 23/12/2022 06:43

I hate it. I was rejected by my mother and stepfather who have two other children together. I was made to leave home at 16 and was regularly beaten when I lived with them. I won't call it home. I was sent a picture from my mother of them all together enjoying the run up to Xmas while I wasn't invited. I dont know why she sends me these photos. Same every year.
Luckily this year I've been invited to spend Xmas with a friend and her family.

CoffeandTiaMaria · 23/12/2022 06:50

I’m with you too OP.
The commercialisation, mountains of tat and false bonhomie depress me. This year it’s just DH, DDog and me and I don’t mind one bit. DD might be down for New Year, DS and family night come sometime but it really doesn’t bother me either way.
Next year I really fancy going away but I know DH won’t….going on my own is awfully tempting!

nowaynohowz · 23/12/2022 07:04

Thank you for starting this thread I wanted to talk about this but I was too scared of starting a thread in case everyone called me miserable etc 😅 I hate Christmas, I hate all the pressure and I just find the whole thing strange tbh. I'm doing the bare minimum this year and that's only because I have kids and they already know what Xmas is - wish I'd never started it!

TodayInahurry · 23/12/2022 07:10

It was great when my relations were alive, now it is just annoying. It is one day after all. The only thing we will do different is have a nice meal, including a bit for the dog. And my horse has a day off

i hate the cold, wet and dark. Can’t wait for spring!

Passanotherjaffacake · 23/12/2022 07:18

I found Christmas very difficult from about 10 years old - old enough to realise my divorced parents spending Christmas together ‘for the family’ was an awful idea and that you could cut the atmosphere with a knife and my dad would make barbed comments all day. Was a horrible time of obligation, forced festivity and real unhappiness. Tiny family too so no-one to diffuse the tension.

have started to look forward to them now my dad is gone and I have my own children. Having said that, at DMs this year and having a bit of a mare with an very unhappy baby and toddler. Older one wanted to go home yesterday as it was all a bit much. We need to do Christmas at home with two little ones but this idea has really upset my mum. Even though we arrived with over 20 bags in 2 cars!

Wetblanket78 · 23/12/2022 07:18

I feel the same it comes around too quickly. Why couldn't Jesus have been born in the 29th February so we only celebrate once every 4 year's?😂😂😂

getmesomewater · 23/12/2022 07:26

I totally agree. I suffer anxiety and have been up since 4am today with nerves avoid the whole day I'm not even cooking dinner this year but everything every derails has fallen all to me.
I have to take dc to see Santa this morning then work then entertain this evening on like a few hours sleep all due to being anxious and overwhelmed by one sodding day. I do keep this in n smile n be happy for my kids but dec 26th like every year tree goes down

Walnutwhipsarenothesame · 23/12/2022 07:27

but tbh I am really starting to get extremely tired of having to produce a magical experience for my now grown up kids where any deviation from tradition is greeted with howls of outrage.

This is it exactly.

Anycrispsleft · 23/12/2022 07:31

I've always enjoyed the run up to Christmas better than the actual day. My mother was abusive, and Christmas was a

Tara336 · 23/12/2022 07:35

Normally I love Christmas but DF was diagnosed with dementia this year and due to other complications is now very ill. We are visiting Christmas day but we are all mindful we expect this to be his last. It won't be the happy relaxing day its always been previously he will be demanding of my DM and rude to everyone, I'm not looking forward to it. DD will be there though and because of COVID it will be our first Christmas day together for a couple of years. Christmas is one of my favourite times of year and I had such high hopes for a lovely one after COVID, maybe next year it will be better.

getmesomewater · 23/12/2022 07:37

@WorryMcGee keep your chin up wishing you a v speedy recovery ❤️

Anycrispsleft · 23/12/2022 07:40

Christmas was an exercise in treading on eggshells. After my dad died and I had my own children I stopped contact with her to keep them safe. Christmas has been better since then but I still feel a sort of dread a lot of the time on the actual day, even though she is not here. We had some limited contact this year after she was diagnosed with memory loss and she died a few weeks ago. I don't know what I feel right now really but festive is not it.

I don't know if this will resonate with anyone else but I've always got a lot of comfort from the oddest of things - the Eastenders Christmas specials. It's like the only view of the outside world where anyone admits that being among your family for 4 or 5 days with nothing to do and pressure to get along can be the exact opposite of fun.

Mattjack2 · 23/12/2022 07:45

I've found my people! More so this year as I now have a grandson in Oz who I've yet to meet so when my partner moaned about not seeing his granddaughter this Xmas as she's a 2 year old enjoying Disneyland I lost my s**t.