Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Is it only my BF that does this or is their others like me out there? 🙈

117 replies

Coco2022 · 19/12/2022 17:55

My partner of 4 years really upsets me when it comes to Christmas presents.

This year he went to a local DIY shop for my Christmas gift. He bought me 30 Christmas teddies. Spent 160 and is shocked and annoyed that I’m not happy with it.

I keep telling him if he got one it would be meaningful but 30 to me paints the picture that he genuinely doesn’t know me well enough to pick what I like.

I’ve been searching and really looking for things that would make him happy.

Am I wrong for being upset? I hate arguing over materialistic things but he makes me feel so unseen and unheard. 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
HowCanIPayItForward · 19/12/2022 18:42

That's horribly thoughtless and a complete waste of money. I'd honestly be questioning the whole relationship if my DH did that. It's a decent budget as well, he could have got you something lovely for that.

The giving as he buys is weird too, that takes the excitement out of Christmas Day.

superdupernova · 19/12/2022 18:42

Seems a weird choice of present.

My DH out-earns me by a significant amount so tends to buy what he wants through the year. I'm very frugal and rarely spend money but I don't tend to mention things I'd like either. A few years ago we agreed to make a Christmas list and agree a budget. The list exceeds our budget so what we actually receive is still a surprise but very much things we want.

SirDavidAttenborough · 19/12/2022 18:43

Coco2022 · 19/12/2022 18:34

He gives as he buys. His whole family do it that way. They don’t open gifts Christmas morning! 🤷🏼‍♀️

WTF is this all about. Wrong on so many levels.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/12/2022 18:43

I'd be running for the hills and you should, too. This is just unhinged.

Watchkeys · 19/12/2022 18:45

Do you feel that he hears when you speak about your feelings at other times? Is he loving and respectful? If anybody got annoyed with me for not liking their present, they'd get very short shrift. I'm not obliged to like anything, and if they can't be bothered to think about choosing a present that'll make me happy, I can't be bothered to smile along to make them happy.

Twiglets1 · 19/12/2022 18:48

He sounds very odd you need to LTB

DuchessOfDisco · 19/12/2022 18:49

Now I’m not against a teddy (I have one from build a bear that occasionally gets new outfits) but 30 in one go is quite something. Can you just laugh about it and say “maybe next year I’ll just give you a list to buy from” and then make sure, in early November, you send him an email with clicky links of stuff you would like and let him pick from that.
it’s what me and dh do, we don’t buy everything off the list (still waiting for my fiat 500 that I keep asking for), and sometimes throw in extras that we think the other would like. But if he struggles - the best solution is a list

MumUndone · 19/12/2022 18:51

Eh?

Original poster
Coco2022 · 19/12/2022 18:57

I did do a list it was the same list carried forward from my birthday in April. Just wasn’t heeded.

He got me an apple pen & when he noticed I had one already he kept the new one for himself.

I think I’m done.

OP posts:
Favouritefruits · 19/12/2022 19:00

Literally never laughed it aloud at a MN thread 🤣 dear god, is he ok in the head?

Dontpokedoggyseyessweetheart · 19/12/2022 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Haveahappyholiday · 19/12/2022 19:08

Where are you supposed to put all the teddies?

Bluekerfuffle · 19/12/2022 19:09

Well, you now have his Christmas presents sorted for the next 30 years.

Whatifthegrassisblue · 19/12/2022 19:09

Very strange. At least he got you something (silver lining). I guess he thought it would be romantic or something? Confused

Kanaloa · 19/12/2022 19:11

When you say ‘partner of four years’ do you mean you’ve been together for four years or he’s four years old? Because the latter is the only way this would make sense.

Tell him to get rid of them, you don’t want them. I don’t tend to be ungrateful about gifts but when someone has blatantly made no effort I don’t think they’re owed any politeness.

Octo5 · 19/12/2022 19:11

30 teddies!!!

Did he think it would be romantic to fill the room with teddies or something?
I’ve seen this on SM.

I wouldn’t end the relationship if it’s otherwise good but I would be saying to not do gifts anymore.

CantFindTheBeat · 19/12/2022 19:11

HowCanIPayItForward · 19/12/2022 18:42

That's horribly thoughtless and a complete waste of money. I'd honestly be questioning the whole relationship if my DH did that. It's a decent budget as well, he could have got you something lovely for that.

The giving as he buys is weird too, that takes the excitement out of Christmas Day.

This, OP.

What good points can he possibly have that compensate for this sort of bonkers behaviour?

Thepossibility · 19/12/2022 19:15

Utterly batshit. I would've thought he was joking but if he's not...is he mentally well? So he's actually bought you 32 teddies as gifts Confused where does he even expect you to put them.

DucklingDaisy · 19/12/2022 19:24

Coco2022 · 19/12/2022 18:57

I did do a list it was the same list carried forward from my birthday in April. Just wasn’t heeded.

He got me an apple pen & when he noticed I had one already he kept the new one for himself.

I think I’m done.

Does he bring anything positive to your life?

tara66 · 19/12/2022 19:24

Is he planning to open a teddy shop?

Eixample · 19/12/2022 19:27

I think popular culture might have told him that this kind of gesture is romantic, when in fact outside films it’s too generic to be a good gift. He’d probably send you 12 dozen red roses and never know what your favourite flower is.
Would you get some pleasure from giving them away to children without many gifts?

pilates · 19/12/2022 19:28

I would be pissed off and return them straight away. What a weirdo.

hippoherostandinghere · 19/12/2022 19:28

Please can we have a photo? And then I think you need to reevaluate your life choices.

BCBird · 19/12/2022 19:28

I would stick it up their jacksy if someone bought me one let alone 30😫

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 19/12/2022 19:28

If he’s not immediately going to take them back I’d drop them at the local hospital children’s ward and tell him the 30 teddies were a lovely thoughtful charitable donation to 30 children, now if we’re still doing gifts this year, I’d like something off my list. Otherwise take anything back you’ve bought him. And have a think about whether this relationship makes you happy.