Refusal to buy “boring” gifts

[Jinglebellsloth]

My mother still likes to get me a few bits at Christmas, which is kind of her.

She asked me what I wanted for Christmas as she didn’t know what to get me.

I explained I didn’t really need any ‘gifts’ as such, but would love some useful things that I use everyday e.g. the brand of vitamins I like to take etc.

She had refused as she claims these are boring. I’ve tried to explain that I would much rather have that than some random stuff she’s picked and wrapped that I don’t need/want/use.

I'm with you OP. I asked my MIL to buy me a rotary line for my birthday one year. DH was baffled but she got why it was a great gift to have.

Do you like pyjamas OP? Or fluffy socks? She could make you up a cosy hamper that you would use with a selection of teas or chocolates that you love.

I remember the year my husband asked me for all this stuff to do with cleaning his car. Proper foam, wax and other stuff that’s used. It all came to roughly €100 and I felt awful wrapping it! It just didn’t feel festive! But it’s what he wanted so I went with it.

I did also get him a few bits I knew he would like such as fluffy socks, a new hoodie and his favourite chocolates and he was so pleased with it all! And used everything but he really loved the car stuff.

Last year it was a Ring doorbell camera!

Presents are supposed to be something you wouldn’t buy yourself.
There you go. Silly little recipient is patronised again. I though presents were meant to be about something someone wants but apparently that is against The Rules.

It isn’t. Presents are supposed to be something you wouldn’t buy yourself. My son has given me a list of books he can’t afford this year and also asked for cologne, which is a guilty pleasure that he can’t bring himself to spend his own money on. It’s possible to ask for something you want that you wouldn’t spend your own money on.

We were quite skint for a long time and for me things like vitamins or basic moisturiser for myself and fridge storage were the type of thing I really wanted but never get round to buying because I felt the money would be better spent elsewhere. PIL used to think these things were far too functional and boring and bought me things they thought I should want, random perfumes, candles, pyjamas or similar that went to charity or got regifted.

I had a big birthday a couple of years ago. I’m an outdoorsy person. There is nothing I love more than researching to get the exact bit of kit I want. Normally outdoor kit is kinda expensive. What I really needed/wanted was a good lightweight/warm sleeping bag for mountain backpacking and when asked what I wanted I specifically asked for Vouchers for a local outdoor shop. That way if everyone who wanted to get me something got me those, then I’d probably be able to buy one. But that didn’t happen. I got a handbag I didn’t need (I never use handbags) jewellery that wasn’t my taste and a gift experience for something I had no interest in and it was burdensome coz I then had to organise and ask folk to join me on it (voucher for Escape rooms). I was gutted. I felt like no-one had listened to me and got me what they’d like rather than what I liked/wanted/needed. In short I felt awful because it felt like no-one cared. But I still had to look grateful and appreciative so they didn’t have hurt feelings. Where is the fecking logic in that!
And gift experiences are the worst. A lazy way of gifting. Unless the recipient has specifically stated that they would like a certain experience, it’s basically telling someone how they should spend their time.

Why not ho the whole hog and ask for a dozen eggs or some washing up.liquid? I'm with your mum on this, vitamins for Christmas is just pointless.

I came here ready to take your side, OP, but vitamins is pushing it a bit 😂 I think asking for items that are just part of your weekly shop is perhaps not quite in the spirit, especially if your mum wants to feel she's giving you a treat. I can understand your frustration though so maybe just ask for a surprise or else some vouchers- does Amazon stock your vitamins?

I'm 33 and my mum asked me the other week if there was something I "needed" for Christmas. I said I couldn't think of anything. She then asked me if there was a perfume I particularly liked so I told her which one it was. I also mentioned a new fancy hairdryer I've had my eye on and been thinking of treating myself to.

She wants to treat you a bit and vitamins and fridge shelves just don’t do it 😁

is there anything a bit special you’d buy for yourself if you could?

www.picturehouses.com/blog/have-a-cracking-christmas-with-picturehouse-christmas-gifting

How about this a Christmas cracker with vouchers for a cinema film, snacks & drinks.

Wow, those are exceptionally boring gifts though? How about PJs, socks, slippers, pretty tea towels, a notebook and pens or something for a hobby? They're still practical but not quite vitamin level-practical?

ps. If necessary she could buy you a Boots (or similar) voucher and you could say you'd like to pick out a gift set/face cream from there and then use it on the Vitamins!

I’m with your mum. I used to hate it when I’d ask my mum what she’d like and she’d say a pair of tights (bog standard American tan type thing). I’d say ‘I’m not buying you those!’ I did end up getting them and other equally mundane stuff so it never felt like fun buying her presents.

I love practical gifts too. I would be really annoyed if someone decided my wish list was too boring. Ask for a gift voucher instead but I bet you then get told you should have something to unwrap on Christmas Day.

I'd love a gift of my supplements. My supplements are probably my biggest financial indulgence but they help me sleep after years of insomnia. And supposedly increase my estrogen and testosterone levels, I really think they probably do as my face has been filling back out since I started them and I'm as horny as a teenager. I feel and look significantly younger, so who the fuck wouldn't want them as a present?

Why dont you ask for an experiance (maybe one to share together) like afternoon tea, wine tasting, spa or even something more out there like axe throwing experiance, salsa dancing classes, flying lesson or falconry etc...

Then its not adding random stuff to your house.

So why didn’t you ask for an expensive moisturiser @QuietYou? I bet they’d have bought it for you, that way everyone wins.

I get you OP, there are expensive items that sound boring that I would LOVE people to get me because they genuinely improve my life day to day and appreciate them, but others would consider boring. Which is just bizarre as I'd get more enjoyment out of them.

Is there a way you could convince her to do a hamper for you so she can include the gifty bits she wants plus the stuff you actually want altogether, and is more exciting to open?

And yes I'm thinking along the lines of moisturiser, expensive probiotics or beauty vitamins I wouldn't buy myself, etc.

You can get some really fancy vitamins these days though, my mind goes to stuff like Perfectil Platinum Radiance or Sugar Bear Hair gummies.

I am so confused about why there is a comment from me that has been hidden, is it because I posted too many times in a row?

@Wanderingowl do share what supplements you take?

It’s so annoying when you ask someone what they’d like for a present and they just give you some items off their weekly shopping list/amazon basket!

Buy then yourself and ask your mum for something she can imagine you enjoying

Trans-resveratrol, pomegranate extract and Ashwaganda. With GABA as needed for sleep.

This. Plus I just sigh at the 'what do you want for .....' question because my answer is always 'to not have something else to think about/make a decision on' or things that are impossible like a clean and tidy house without constant effort and to be 20 pounds lighter.

Which is why I'd just happily accept token consumable gifts (gin, fizzy wine, cheese and posh crackers, anything from Hotel Chocolate) and anything that I have to wear, use or look at, I'll buy myself when I want/need it, have the money and have researched which version I want/need/like best.