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Christmas

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Original poster

Refusal to buy “boring” gifts

115 replies

Jinglebellsloth · 14/12/2022 07:22

My mother still likes to get me a few bits at Christmas, which is kind of her.

She asked me what I wanted for Christmas as she didn’t know what to get me.

I explained I didn’t really need any ‘gifts’ as such, but would love some useful things that I use everyday e.g. the brand of vitamins I like to take etc.

She had refused as she claims these are boring. I’ve tried to explain that I would much rather have that than some random stuff she’s picked and wrapped that I don’t need/want/use.

OP posts:
Divebar2021 · 14/12/2022 07:41

I’d probably ask for some lovely soap or books. But consumables would be good too… really great coffee or anything from Fortnums food hall.

MiddleParking · 14/12/2022 07:42

I don’t understand why it’s OP’s responsibility to provide her mother with an idea of something she, the mother, wants to buy. If she doesn’t like OP’s ideas why doesn’t she stick to the traditional format of thinking of a present for a loved one yourself?!

ADifferentKindofChristmas · 14/12/2022 07:42

KangarooKenny · 14/12/2022 07:32

I agree with PJ’s, chocs, alcohol. Very boring but will get used.

Not if the OP doesn't eat chocolate or is teetotal 🙄

Divebar2021 · 14/12/2022 07:42

Or something from Labour & Wait which is all practical but beautiful.

ScrabbleChamp64 · 14/12/2022 07:43

I won’t buy boring gifts either! The whole point is it is something you want, not every day stuff you need.

MIL is terrible for this. She asked for garden twine one year and a trowel for her 60th. We had the trowel engraved so it felt a bit more birthday-y.

BILs girlfriend tried to ask for plain white socks this year. Absolutely not!

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 14/12/2022 07:43

Do you wash? Eat? Drink?
nice shampoo, food or alcohol would all be useable and non boring presents. Vitamins and fridge trays are a shit suggestion. Try harder!

lifeinthehills · 14/12/2022 07:45

If my grown daughter asked me to get her vitamins, I'd be concerned she was struggling financially, to ask for something so very practical. I'd get her the vitamins but I'd also get her something 'nice' to go with it.

Towels and things aren't so bad to ask for. It's a chance to get something really luxurious and special for them.

DappledThings · 14/12/2022 07:48

Why shouldn't people get what they want instead of what other people think they should want? It's so weird the way people enforce their own present rules on the recipients.

If someone wanted vitamins and fridge trays that's what I'd get them and be pleased I knew they were getting something they wanted.

ADifferentKindofChristmas · 14/12/2022 07:48

And fwiw OP I completely agree with you OP if you want and will use the vitamins there is nothing wrong with asking for that either or else why are they even asking you?

For those saying people should give you money, what is the point of that when you would then go out and buy the vitamins with it?

At least they would have made the effort to get said vitamins rather than just take the easy option and give you cash.

The whole point of giving a gift (for me) is giving something that the recipient will actually use/want/needs.

Judging by these responses it's no wonder so many people end up with so much useless tat.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 14/12/2022 07:50

There must be something that isn't vitamins ffs! Socks, a bottle of your favourite drink, posh cheese, fancy hot chocolate, a new woolly hat....

ifoundthebread · 14/12/2022 07:56

MiddleParking · 14/12/2022 07:42

I don’t understand why it’s OP’s responsibility to provide her mother with an idea of something she, the mother, wants to buy. If she doesn’t like OP’s ideas why doesn’t she stick to the traditional format of thinking of a present for a loved one yourself?!

Dont get me started on this. Im all for asking people what kinds of things theyre interested in at the moment and using that to help choose a gift for them, but it seems christmas (to me, not sure for others) is - what do you want? Have you seen one you like? Pick one up when you see one and ill give you the money. Like people have the world of shopping at their finger tips but cant be arsed to use free time looking for gifts. This year ive said i dont know what i want so people have decided to gift money (which is appreciated) but just dont feel like people can be bothered to put effort in.

Sorry rant over 😂

Mrsjayy · 14/12/2022 08:04

@ifoundthebread do you feel better after that 😃

Brefugee · 14/12/2022 08:04

I don’t understand why it’s OP’s responsibility to provide her mother with an idea of something she, the mother, wants to buy. If she doesn’t like OP’s ideas why doesn’t she stick to the traditional format of thinking of a present for a loved one yourself?!

are you new here? Typically the mum will buy something and op will moan that it's a waste of money, she doesn't need/like/use the things.

People here are constantly complaining about the existence of "tat" where "tat" = something someone else has bought for you or your DC that you don't want/need/like. Hence people like to at least have an idea of what you want. It isn't too much to ask and OP is being a carmudgeon to a perfectly normal and lovely questions.

Sparkletastic · 14/12/2022 08:09

Surely you can think of something less dreary?

DappledThings · 14/12/2022 08:16

Sparkletastic · 14/12/2022 08:09

Surely you can think of something less dreary?

But why should she? Why does she have to invent something she wants to fit someone else's idea of what is acceptable rather than what she actually wants?

Why are people obsessed with buying only what they think people should want even when something else has been explicitly requested. It makes no sense and I find it really rude to ask somewhat they want then tell them they are wrong.

ElbowsandArses · 14/12/2022 08:20

My mother is same but agree w PP: she wants to feel she has treated you. My mum is buying me a posh coffee subscription. Posh/treat consumables is the way to go. I asked for fancy hand wash for my birthday.

ChessieDarling · 14/12/2022 08:22

Oh gosh I was so ready to be on your side but a jar of vitamins or trays for your fridge are just the most boring ideas! I’d probably choose not to buy those options too. There must be something else, anything else, a bit more traditionally gift-like that you can think of.
Strangely, I have the opposite problem. My sister in law refuses to buy anything if it isn’t a useful, practical gift. She’s a bit of a knob at times to be honest.
Also I have to admit, I thoroughly dislike having to give specific ideas (normally with links as well!) for presents. It’s just extra work, and it takes all the fun and surprise out.
I appreciate my last two paragraphs are somewhat irrelevant.

Parky04 · 14/12/2022 08:25

I asked my DM for an electric heated throw. She thought that was boring, but I stressed that I desperately wanted one!

mundebon · 14/12/2022 08:30

My mother used to ask for things like, "a really good sieve". Don't think anyone got that one. Am not a fan of buying for buying's sake, but there has to be something else useful such as PPs have suggested, along the socks, chocs and books lines.

Iamnotausername · 14/12/2022 08:32

I'd not want to buy my daughter vitamins either tbh 🤣

How about an upgrade of something you use everyday eg do you need a lovely new blanket?

LizzieSiddal · 14/12/2022 08:32

I’ve always say books, Neals yard or chocolates when people ask. I use them anyway, so will definitely use.

Atmywitsend29 · 14/12/2022 08:35

Ohh I hate that!
A relative asked what I wanted for Christmas before, and it was just after my vacuum cleaner blew up, so I asked them to buy me a cheap £30 vacuum cleaner because I couldn't afford it. They refused 😂

Dontjudgeme101 · 14/12/2022 08:39

MiddleParking · 14/12/2022 07:34

I agree with you OP. Good vitamins are more expensive than you might feel you could justify for yourself normally. I don’t see the problem with practical gifts at all, if it’s something you need/want it’s a good use of money and presents aren’t about what the gifter likes.

I agree with this. I can’t stand it, when people force their opinions on you. You want vitamins, then she should buy it for you!

KnickerlessParsons · 14/12/2022 08:40

My DM is the same.

DM: what would you like for Christmas?
Me: I'd like a xxx
DM: oh no, you don't want that, how about a yyy
Me: I don't think I'd use it, how about this dressing gown?
DM: it's very thin, I'll get you this other one
Me: I don't like that one, I like thin ones
DM: hmph.
Me: if you don't want to get me a dressing gown how about a zzzz?
DM: you don't want one of those. Brenda has one of those and she doesn't like it

And so on and so on. Every year.

cherriegarcia · 14/12/2022 08:46

There must be something you would find useful that is a bit 'nicer' as a gift than vitamins - a treat food you like, some nice bathing stuff, clothes, books etc?