Gift idea for 13yo and 17yo non binary girls

[ZenNudist]

Help dh not sorted friends dc gifts and seeing them this weekend. We always spend £30 or so. Up to £50 max.

No idea what to get them both. They like pc gaming. They are both quite "cool" but their taste is individual. The younger one likes Wednesday (netflix) so something goth could be good.

Has to be to order quickly!!

This is impossible right?

Just give them cash in a card so they can get whatever they want. I hated getting vouchers as a child. It is too restrictive.

Yes my teenage daughter is autistic and doesn't conform with gender stereotypes, hates make - up girly chit chat etc.

She still knows she's a girl and doesn't claim to be non binary.

This is a thread for present advice, not a thread for posters to talk about their personal feelings regarding non-binary identities

If the OP just wanted ideas for presents, then why include the 'non binary' bit? A book on biology, as suggested, sounds about right.

I don't think anyone who is a) a teenager and b) thinks they aren't a boy or a girl can realistically be expected to be consistent.

OP, my daughter is in that age range. how about a Forbidden Planet E-Voucher?

forbiddenplanet.com/vouchers/

Pretty sure this thread wasn’t started to argue about gender terms 🤔, it seems to be a thing at the moment with kids/teens/young people to put a name to everything, which is fine….who really cares? And yes, people with ASD are more likely to be LGBTQ+ (its a known fact). Both my DC’s are on the spectrum, one does like to put a name to her gender and sexuality, the other doesn’t.

OP sated ‘non binary’ because it may effect what gift she buys. They might not like girly things (though most of DD’s non binary friends do), they might have a quirky taste in clothing and they might be a Tom boy.

Anyway, my dd like quirky T-shirts with memes on (I hate them but it’s not my choice), she likes gaming, Pokemon, Japanese stuff but also likes lush snow fairy and fluffy blankets 😁. It’s always best just to get vouchers if you are unsure what they like.

That’s great for your daughter but it is a fact that autistic children were more likely to be referred for gender dysphoria than non-autistic children which is part of the reason Tavistock has closed.

Pretty sure this thread wasn’t started to argue about gender terms

It's an obsession for some.

Yes I know. It's terrible that they were signposted to GIDS by professionals and schools and that parents were led to believe that their children were at risk of suicide if they didn't go along with it.

It's a travesty. At least part of the reason for girls for gender non conformity is sensory issues, make up and tight clothes just don't feel right. And the social side of things can be explained by the fact that autism is, by definition, a communication disorder. The fact that some autistic girls have been led to believe that rejecting their sex and mutilating their bodies might help them to 'fit in' is absolutely abhorrent.

Kill star vouchers for the goth one.

also Typo is a cool shop for teenagers bits and bobs.

They might not like girly things (though most of DD’s non binary friends do), they might have a quirky taste in clothing and they might be a Tom boy.

In what way is a girl who likes girly things non - binary? Or is it just a cool label?

Yep definitely Typo I've even managed to get my 10 and 12 yr old bits so I also recommend it for older teens.

Did you see the comment before it was deleted or are you defending it out of context?

Because no where in any university does non binary mean autism.

Yes, we are very aware of the higher numbers of autistic people who are falling down the gender trap, I sadly have an autistic child who has done just that. However that does not mean that autism and non binary are the same thing.

According to Dd it means they might like both girly things and lad things but don’t consider themselves as male or female. And yes, I don’t understand it either, as someone who isn’t particularly girly and has what some class as ‘male hobbies’ I still see myself as female. I no longer argue with dd about it 😬

Where did I say non binary means autism? I just stated a fact that a lot of LQBT people are on the spectrum. I agree that non binary doesn’t mean Autism, I was just stating a fact. And yes I am on the spectrum myself.

According to Dd it means they might like both girly things and lad things but don’t consider themselves as male or female. And yes, I don’t understand it either, as someone who isn’t particularly girly and has what some class as ‘male hobbies’ I still see myself as female. I no longer argue with dd about it 😬

It's the don't consider themselves male or female bit that is odd. Everyone has a sex.

Think it is best not to argue with your child about it.

Most people in the world are non binary if it comes down to likes and interests.

@Lovemusic33

Where did I say non binary means autism?

You didn't. You joined in a discussion where a poster had said something along those lines, so it looked as if you were agreeing with them. I was asking if you had actually seen the post.

What's your point? Are you wanting people to explain it or is this another way of just saying you don't agree with it/ think it's foolish? Either way - this is a thread about present ideas. and in the context of that, it probably just means they perhaps wont be into ultra traditionally girly stuff, or maybe they will, who knows. We don't really know without knowing the kids in question. So probably best for OP to ask them, or get something that's not that niche.

If you really want to understand more about gender identity, go and research, there's a whole internet out there. Go look on Stonewall or similar, talk to people, try to understand other people's views, etc. Branch out from reading one definition. if you don't, don't worry about it.

Please don't go to Stonewall if you want to understand what gender and sex are. You'll be more confused than when you started.

My point is that, on a thread about present ideas, I don’t understand what the phrase ‘non-binary’ brings to the discussion. Assuming we’re all intelligent enough to appreciate that your genitalia don’t dictate what you might or might not like - we’re not so stupid that we assume that having a vagina means you like pink and glitter and rainbows, the phrase ‘non-binary’ is entirely redundant.

As for the research recommendation, I’m looking for sources with a little more credibility than Stonewall, thanks.

Ooh tonnes of suggestions. Thank you. Forbidden planet voucher but like the idea of chaos cult.

Yes I'm aware that NB and "girls" don't go together but I just meant you can't get them anything girly. Boys who are NB will presumably thank you for something girly. Other teen girls would too, so I did think the distinction worth making.

Although NB is supposed to mean neither male nor female, practically it seems to mean if a girl dress like a boy but I don't know if NB boys dress like girls or more like Harry Styles.

I don't challenge their credo. I just use the they pronoun or their new chosen names. I'm not looking to get into an argument with a principled teen. I do reflect that I must be NB too (dont "feel" female). Happy to wear pink at times so maybe I'm boring old binary

I know the description is torturous but what can you do? Seem to be a lot of non binary girls about nowadays. Thought enough people would have met some.

Also not autistic but funnily enough I know an ASD NB girl. Is it not just the Venn diagram of common trends no, plenty of people on the spectrum of autism or trans thingy so some intersect.

Yes I'm aware that NB and "girls" don't go together but I just meant you can't get them anything girly. Boys who are NB will presumably thank you for something girly. Other teen girls would too, so I did think the distinction worth making.

Although NB is supposed to mean neither male nor female, practically it seems to mean if a girl dress like a boy but I don't know if NB boys dress like girls or more like Harry Styles.

What on earth?????

🤦🏻‍♀️😂

That's not non-binary. That's gender non-conforming. I.e. not conforming to the stereotypes of your gender.