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Original poster

Is this a mean thing to do on Christmas Day?

772 replies

AFewScrewsLucy · 10/12/2022 19:09

Imagine you are the parent here.

You have a 9 yo, who turned 9 in early October.
They still believe in father Christmas (yes, really)
They have asked for an iPad.
You've told 9yo you can't afford it, so can't have it.
9yo says "it's OK, Santa will get it for me" and then proceeds to tell everyone they know since November that they're getting an iPad for Christmas.
You are actually buying the iPad for them.
But, you have decided that to teach them to be more humble, you're going to pretend that Santa hasn't brought the iPAD when you all open presents in the morning. And you're going to "find" the iPad at the back of the tree at some point in the evening,.and give it to them then.

Full context, you also have a just turned 6yo and 7yo who will be receiving their Santa present in the morning. (Barbie Dream House and Switch)

What do you think? Mean? Or fine?

OP posts:
Ringsender2 · 10/12/2022 21:03

Horrific. But i think your other half will have got the message after 11 pages of this.

The loving parental thing to do is, of course, gasping when the child opens their ipad, and saying something like "wow, Santa knew we couldn't afford this but look what he brought for you!"

There's so little wonder in this world, why on earth would you crush your child's dreams in such a calculated way.

It's verging on the sadistic

thisismylittlebrotherGeorge · 10/12/2022 21:04

Jesus Christ that's the sort of stuff that will land your child in therapy when shes older.

Toomanyclothesinthecloset · 10/12/2022 21:07

Mean

CloudSunLeavesCoud · 10/12/2022 21:09

If you don’t like them going round telling everyone they’re getting an iPad, you need be the adult - to talk to them about why that may not be appropriate and put appropriate consequences in place if their behaviour continues and is offensive in some way (what’s the real concern here? Do you think they sound spoilt? Are they saying it in front of kids that can’t afford such presents?). Don’t get passive agressive with a child hiding their present on Xmas morning 🙄. You’re certainly not leading by example if you start those kinds of tactics that’s for sure!

Tripsabroad · 10/12/2022 21:12

Super mean, will ruin the day and won't teach him anything.

I thought you were going to say, would it be mean to tell them on Christmas day that santa doesn't exist when he's disappointed to not get an ipad! That would be significantly less mean and more educational imo! If you can't afford it you can't afford it.

Why did she tell him she couldn't afford it if she's going to buy it anyway?

Greyskyblue · 10/12/2022 21:13

Really mean and fucked up. You need help.

Flapjackquack · 10/12/2022 21:13

And even more annoying when you have a situation like this one where you get people popping up every 5 minutes saying "RTFT OP is not the parent", admonishing posters who have replied in good faith.

Nah the annoying part is people telling the OP they are despicable etc because they can’t be bothered to click the button right under the OPs posts that say “see all”.

Aworldofmyown · 10/12/2022 21:14

Mean

Lulu2171 · 10/12/2022 21:15

Super mean

Kanaloa · 10/12/2022 21:16

Absolutely stupid and hypocritical behaviour. It would be punishing your child for your choices - you lied to your child that a magic man delivers magical presents built in his special workshop. Understandably, your child has not developed an understanding of how much things cost, and he has taken what you’ve told him at face value. Now he’s to be punished and humiliated for thinking that if mum and dad can’t afford it he may as well ask the magic man as it won’t cost him anything.

If you want your child to understand Christmas properly, don’t lie about magic presents being delivered at no cost. I would simply have told my kids that an iPad costs £300/400 and that’s very expensive. But you’ve dug yourself in a hole by carrying on the fiction, and somehow you expect your child to see through it.

Gagaandgag · 10/12/2022 21:17

Mean and cruel. Are you being serious?

WaddleAway · 10/12/2022 21:19

It’s cruel.

NooNakedJacuzziness · 10/12/2022 21:20

Fuck me, I've only skim read the thread but I know the OP isn't the parent - it's not that difficult!

Bard6817 · 10/12/2022 21:21

Why don’t you do the part santa thing.

We got santa to get the more traditional gifts, but the more expensive gifts were from family.

We earned a lot at times and wanted to spoil kids who had a few lean years in terms of pressies, but we didn’t want it to become the norm. So they got some nice things, but knew it related to working and family.

We also split up the gift giving into xmas eve, xmas morning (santas gift) lunchtime, evening, and something nice on boxing day. Spreads the joy and stops the silly 4am risings, and the kids get a chance to enjoy each round, rather than a crazy am.

Partyprofessional · 10/12/2022 21:21

That’s nasty nasty parenting. Why would you even think of doing that?

ohyouknowwhatshername · 10/12/2022 21:23

It won't teach them to be humble will it? It will teach them that their parents are absolute arseholes.

HikingforScenery · 10/12/2022 21:24

Why buy a gift she can’t afford?

RewildingAmbridge · 10/12/2022 21:24

My parents did a much lesser version of this, came down brother had dream present of his, I didn't seem to have a main present. Bit upset but tried to not show it, as I had other things so tried to be grateful. Parents ask me to open the curtains (floor length bay window). There was my most wished for present. That five minutes was soul destroying, if they'd kept it going much longer it would've actually really upset young me. That plan is cruel.

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 10/12/2022 21:27

Really mean. Why would you let your younger DC open their "dream presents" and leave your older DC feeling they had been forgotten. It's just cruel!

Spinningaround18 · 10/12/2022 21:29

That's the kind of thing that stays with the child for years to come, don't do it to them, please...

Pinana · 10/12/2022 21:33

Sorry, I think that's really mean too.

This is why FC only brings the stockings in our house! Any other gifts are from us/family.

amonsteronthehill · 10/12/2022 21:33

Mean

You need to have a reality check conversation with them about the kinds of presents santa brings instead, and an ipad isn't it.

mitsy5 · 10/12/2022 21:37

A Switch and Barbie Dream House aren’t cheap either and I’m sure the younger two are getting what they asked for, so I’m not sure why you would want to be so downright cruel to your oldest. It makes me really sad to think of them sitting there with while their siblings have big presents.

JanglyBeads · 10/12/2022 21:39

Please read the OP's second and third posts. It's not her planning this, but her friend

Algor1thm · 10/12/2022 21:41

The real question is, why did she tell her kid that they won't be getting an ipad because they can't afford it when they will and they can? Why not just leave it as a mystery?