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Christmas

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Original poster

Guests have had to cancel, how to make it special just us?

94 replies

QforCucumber · 23/12/2021 13:45

We were supposed to be having in laws and also my brother for Xmas dinner/the Xmas period, Then Bil and his wife and kids Xmas day night, all have had to cancel (Covid reasons) so now its literally just DH and I, and 2 x Ds's - 5 yrs and 18 months, how can I get out of this thought process that its just going to be boring and awful and make something special out of it?

Christmas has always been about getting everyone together and ATM I'm thinking wtf is the point in having another day just us 4, why bother with a dinner (even though everything is getting delivered tonight) I just don't see the point and can't see it being a fun time.

OP posts:
BiscuitLover3678 · 23/12/2021 13:47

Oh god I'm the opposite, so much fun to be just the four of you! Not needing to entertain anyone. Good food and drink, presents, TV ans games. Lots of family time. Make it special :)

PiratePetespajamas · 23/12/2021 13:48

Omg no!!! With your children this young it’s a lovely time to bed down and have a wonderful cosy Christmas together, just the 4 of you. I adore my extended family and was heartbroken not to spend it with them last year - but actually, it turned out to be nice. There was a magic in doing our own thing, making our own traditions, and it was admittedly less stressful having fewer people to cook for and entertain. Try not to grieve what you can’t have and focus on the joy on your little ones’ faces.

Redshoeblueshoe · 23/12/2021 13:51

Facetime. We did it last year, it was lovely.

supergloo · 23/12/2021 13:51

We always have just the three of us. I dress the table, have music on. We play games at the table.

Original poster
QforCucumber · 23/12/2021 14:19

@PiratePetespajamas

Omg no!!! With your children this young it’s a lovely time to bed down and have a wonderful cosy Christmas together, just the 4 of you. I adore my extended family and was heartbroken not to spend it with them last year - but actually, it turned out to be nice. There was a magic in doing our own thing, making our own traditions, and it was admittedly less stressful having fewer people to cook for and entertain. Try not to grieve what you can’t have and focus on the joy on your little ones’ faces.
I think this is my problem, it all felt so close and within reach, to then have it pulled away at the last minute so I'm grieving the idea I had and totally unable to shift my focus on to what it could be.

I am a host, I love having people over, people to cook for and chat to and drink with, and (it sounds awful) but I've spent so much time with DH and the kids this year that getting everyone together was lifting me up so much.

OP posts:
parrotonthesofa · 23/12/2021 14:25

I hear you. Ours is also cancelled and it's just the four of us. One of my children has very severe SEN so is unaware but I feel so bad for my daughter who has been so excited about Christmas with the family. We live abroad too so have not seen them much since 2019. Flight has been cancelled and we can't get there.
I have been being very jolly, singing Christmas songs, made Christmas biscuits with her and things. We're gonna go to see the big Xmas tree in town tomorrow and have a go on the big wherl. And then Xmas day will be fun for her because she'll have new toys so I think all in all it should be good in the end despite the disappointment of not being with family.

parrotonthesofa · 23/12/2021 14:27

I have also had to re buy presents because they are all in England!

wouldthatbeworse · 23/12/2021 14:50

We’re in the same boat. Hoping lots of Christmas cooking and songs with the older one can mask the lack of people. Plan to spend 25th on the carpet playing with new toys and not fiddling with phone. Hoping that will be enough.

Original poster
QforCucumber · 23/12/2021 14:52

Its just so hard, Maybe the largest baileys in the world tonight will pull me out of this funk!

OP posts:
2toastornot2toast · 23/12/2021 15:03

Completely understand. Same situation. Our dc are 5 and 7. I've had a cry about not having my parents, brother, Sis in law and kids here and now focussing on dc. Lots of playmobile/lego/ino and monopoly and baileys. Also skype all the way! We're postponing and having a Christmas when we're all together.

Rattysparklebum · 23/12/2021 15:12

Would you like to borrow my MIL, she was meant to be spending in with my SIL and her husband but has suddenly phoned saying she doesn’t want to and can she come to us which, seeing as MIL and DH can’t seem to be in the same room for 5 minutes without having an argument is not giving me happy thoughts Sad

Incywinceyspider · 23/12/2021 15:17

This was us last year. We caught covid about a week before. Couldn't see anyone and couldn't taste any of the christmas goodies! Our DS was 15 months and we still had a lovely time. We focused on baking biscuits for Santa, stockings, a fancy Christmas breakfast, cooking Christmas Dinner (which I'm assuming tasted amazing. Wouldn't know!) and playing games while DS napped.

What is your 5 year old getting for Christmas? Anything that can be played with outdoors? If so break up the day and go for a walk. Do something with them that you normally can't be bothered to do (for me that's messy play)

KaleJuicer · 23/12/2021 15:18

This is what we (and surely hundreds of thousands of others) had last Christmas. Best Christmas ever just the four of us with exactly the menu and timing that suited us! Pick out extra extra special food and start the day with treat breakfast for whatever that might be for your DC. In our case it was choc chip pancakes, strawberries and maple syrup; batter made the night before.

Stealhsquirrelnutkin · 23/12/2021 15:22

I'll be alone this Christmas, and I'm going to enjoy doing exactly what I want, when I want. Half an hour zoom time catching up with family will be an ample sufficiency, and the rest of the day will be all mine.

TedMullins · 23/12/2021 15:22

In the nicest possible way, get a grip. You’ve got your family for company even if it’s more low key than you planned. Plenty of people - including me - are going to be isolating completely alone over Christmas. I’m not fussed, I’m just going to eat loads and watch crap tv!

vixeyann · 23/12/2021 15:28

We have Christmas just the three of us since we moved 5 hrs from the closest family we have. They have been the nicest ones to be honest! We totally please ourselves - have a nice walk/bike ride out before coming home to breakfast, presents, movie and a buffet. I read all these threads on here of crazy family Christmas chaos with people falling out, inviting people you don't want and stressing over Christmas dinner and am grateful that we actually get to enjoy the time together! Christmas is what you make it.

Original poster
QforCucumber · 23/12/2021 15:31

@TedMullins

In the nicest possible way, get a grip. You’ve got your family for company even if it’s more low key than you planned. Plenty of people - including me - are going to be isolating completely alone over Christmas. I’m not fussed, I’m just going to eat loads and watch crap tv!
This is precisely what my brother will be doing, as he had to last year too (close contact last year, positive test this year) so no, I'll not get a grip because the absolute heartbreak on my 5 year olds face when we told him that his uncle couldn't come for a 2nd time and we aren't going to be able to make up for last year this year like he's been promised all year was enough to make me wonder how I can make it amazing for him!

You may not be fussed, I am.

OP posts:
TinyTroubleMaker · 23/12/2021 15:31

I have just me and small DD. Would love to have at least another adult. You are lucky, just enjoy it.

Original poster
QforCucumber · 23/12/2021 15:33

@TedMullins

In the nicest possible way, get a grip. You’ve got your family for company even if it’s more low key than you planned. Plenty of people - including me - are going to be isolating completely alone over Christmas. I’m not fussed, I’m just going to eat loads and watch crap tv!
Sorry, I'm feeling touchy!

I really hope everyone can make the nest of their situations, us included. It's just not what I wanted, or what I'm used to so it's all a bit foreign to me.

OP posts:
userxx · 23/12/2021 15:35

@TedMullins

In the nicest possible way, get a grip. You’ve got your family for company even if it’s more low key than you planned. Plenty of people - including me - are going to be isolating completely alone over Christmas. I’m not fussed, I’m just going to eat loads and watch crap tv!
Fucking hell, its not a competition.
CPL593H · 23/12/2021 15:57

I think we all have different "normals" and this last 2 years has been brutal in upending that. Also having so much time together

What I'd suggest OP is embracing it as much as possible and try to find things that you haven't done during this seemingly interminable plague Covid time. I'd get them wrapped up and out to see the lights or just to the park, Facetime as much as poss and tell yourself that if little ones have a nice happy atmosphere (and presents!) they will be OK.

Iamkmackered1979 · 23/12/2021 15:59

Can you get together later on? My mum and dad were meant to be coming from down south - seen them once in 2 years but cancelled due to covid - my mum is terrified of catching it So doesn’t want to mix with kids etc fair enough but won’t see her till spring or later now likely so all the nice things we’d planned have been cancelled but am used to quiet Christmases (4 boys so not THAT quiet then working Boxing Day.

have a lovely quiet (ish) time with your little family you might just enjoy it, you will probably have a twang of disappointment it’s normal but book a get together in the new year for you all
Take care op

BuffyFanForever · 23/12/2021 16:10

I feel exactly the same OP, was supposed to be having all my family and the Inlaws and now it’s just the wife and babies and I. Hardly seems even worth trying to celebrate

Westerman · 23/12/2021 16:13

I'm with you, OP. Our guests cancelled yesterday and I'm devastated. Can't pull myself out of feeling this way. I'm disabled and don't get out much and I have been so excited to have friends here, but now it's not going to happen. Now it'll be just another day of watching the telly. Like every other day.

LH1987 · 23/12/2021 16:16

Ah I’m sorry @QforCucumber, it’s rubbish that you were disappointed so close to Christmas. It is time to reset your expectations and try to enjoy what you will have (easier said then done!).

I think a giant Baileys is quite a sensible start to that!