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Original poster

If you say 'Im not sending cards'

145 replies

Forestdweller11 · 22/12/2021 10:21

Do you actually not send any at all? I've decided not to send cards this year, but some family appear a bit upset at my decision.

So those who don't send cards do you actually send a few out to family etc?

Immediately family are close by so I could hand deliver, bit I feel it sort of defeats the object.

OP posts:
Thickasmincepie · 22/12/2021 11:40

I spend most of December marking mock exams. Am I bollocks writing any more than I have to.

GameofPhones · 22/12/2021 11:44

I started culling down by sending them only to people who send to me. Now I only send to people I actively want to stay in touch with.

Dasher789 · 22/12/2021 11:48

I always send Christmas cards and specially buy the Christmas stamps. I send cards to everyone in DH and I family and they are a nice way to keep in touch with people who live further away too. I never really understand why people wouldn’t send them - not much effort and all price points covered - each to their own I guess.

WalkingOnSonshine · 22/12/2021 11:50

I don’t post any, unless including them in a parcel of gifts for kids etc. A handful go to neighbours.

JKDinomum · 22/12/2021 11:54

The only people I send cards to are those (mostly elderly) who I am not in touch with via WhatsApp or Facebook. These people also get a note with some info about the kids and some photos of the kids who they haven't seen for a year or more. Everyone else I send a family Christmas picture to with a personal message via WhatsApp or messenger. I think this is more friendly than a generic card with happy Christmas from written on it.

DoubleDeckerSwimmer · 22/12/2021 11:55

I send around 80. I receive a lot fewer than I receive. Each to their own. I like cards and like the chance to thank people for the part they have played in my year.

I also give more gifts than I ever get. But people repay in different ways - time, messages, organising social events, etc.

Each to their own.

JKDinomum · 22/12/2021 11:55

Not sending cards but also not actually bothering to wish people a merry Christmas or just putting a generic message up on Facebook is just lazy imho.

TalkedTooMuchStayedTooLong · 22/12/2021 11:57

Four years ago I used my divorce as an excuse to free myself from card tyranny!

I now only do them for family I'm close to, but who don't live with me and half a dozen friends/ colleagues I give gifts to, so still about 11 cards...

I was doing nearly 70 before... a good few of who, were parents friends who I'd not clapped eyes on for years and I think both sides were doing the reciprocal thing.

Most of my friends haven't done card for yonks, excepting those I exchange gifts with.

TallulahsCurse · 22/12/2021 11:57

I've never sent an Xmas card in my life and I have no intentions to. Which also brilliantly means I don't get any as I have no wish to put them up and so if someone did send one it would just go in the recycling. Works great. Don't send and don't get.

My kids take them into school though as I wouldn't want them to be left out.

DaisyNGO · 22/12/2021 12:00

OP "I feel it sort of defeats the object."

What's the object, in your case?

We did stop altogether one year, the people who were upset about it now get a card.

Tiredtiredtired100 · 22/12/2021 12:00

I don’t send/give cards to anyone I’m not giving a present to. Basically I give them at the same time or give the card a week before Christmas in the case of my mum and dad. I don’t have the time/energy/desire to write and post cards and don’t expect anyone else to either.

StruggleStreet · 22/12/2021 12:07

I don’t send cards and don’t feel the need to tell anyone. Tbh I find it odd the amount of cards we receive from people we don’t see from one year to the next, I just don’t understand why they bother. Does anyone really get anything out of receiving them?

StruggleStreet · 22/12/2021 12:08

Although, I do rather enjoy the card that my neighbour sends every year to ‘DH and Megan’. My name isn’t Megan, not even similar. 😂

DoubleDeckerSwimmer · 22/12/2021 12:10

@StruggleStreet

I don’t send cards and don’t feel the need to tell anyone. Tbh I find it odd the amount of cards we receive from people we don’t see from one year to the next, I just don’t understand why they bother. Does anyone really get anything out of receiving them?
I love receiving them. The fact that it is a bother to send them means that person has chosen to bother about me. I like that.

If I send you one, it is because I have chosen to spend a bit of time thinking about you. Surely that is kind of a nice thing?

ExConstance · 22/12/2021 12:10

I love cards and send about 100 each year. I normally get about the same amount back, though not all colleagues reciprocate. This year we have only had about 25. It seems people have stopped sending them quite suddenly, not a general tailing off. I'm a bit sad abo;ut this as I usually say a few words in addition to "Happy Christmas" and over the last 2 years it has been difficult to keep in touch with people in person. I feel very sad about this.

Jng1 · 22/12/2021 12:10

We used to send loads, when lots of friends and family lived and worked abroad etc. We were also guilty of the dreaded 'round robin' letter which photos (which we tried not to make too much of a 'boast in the post'!)
But when that all fell out of favour it seemed pointless just sending to/from cards, especially now that the cost of postage is often higher than the value of the card (e.g. Ireland since Brexit Angry )

Now only do elderly relatives and very close friends.

I'll put a card picture on FB and WhatsApp groups etc with a message.

WeeFae · 22/12/2021 12:12

I usually send cards but kept it to just parents & siblings this year (I wont see them at Christmas). I wish I'd sent more now though, in case this is my last Christmas (I have 2 cancers at the moment).

Jng1 · 22/12/2021 12:13

I don't understand some neighbours of ours who send cards to
"All at No.8", don't know our names and ignore us in the street all the rest of the year!

Bigassbeebuzzbuzz · 22/12/2021 12:14

I send a Terrys chocolate orange instead but only to family. Cost me £5 in total much cheaper than the £20 I normally spend on family cards

RedskyThisNight · 22/12/2021 12:15

If I send you one, it is because I have chosen to spend a bit of time thinking about you. Surely that is kind of a nice thing?

Most people sending Christmas cards simply work through a list. There is not much thinking about someone going on here.

Classicblunder · 22/12/2021 12:15

I don't send any but if I did, it would be to people I value but am not in regular contact with so that I could make contact and write a few words etc, I don't really see the point in sending to people I see all the time like my parents

DoubleDeckerSwimmer · 22/12/2021 12:16

@WeeFae

I usually send cards but kept it to just parents & siblings this year (I wont see them at Christmas). I wish I'd sent more now though, in case this is my last Christmas (I have 2 cancers at the moment).
WeeFae, I am sorry to hear you have two cancers.

If you really wish you had sent more, send them now. Or send letters. Or just cards.

My neighbour (who was very significant) to me when I was growing up wrote letters to everyone he cared about when he was unwell. Those letters sent so much love out into the world.

Sincerely hoping that you are with us for many years to come, of course! But a love letter writing project might be something you find quite pleasurable... don't be scared to do it, if so.

DebIr · 22/12/2021 12:16

I dislike the messages re donating to charity rather than giving cards. If you want to donate to charity, fine, up to you. But it’s nothing to do with me.
I make my own donations to the charities I choose.

Snoken · 22/12/2021 12:18

I don't send or hand out a single card. I wish people happy christmas in person instead. Either because they are a neighbour and I will see them at some point, or if it's family/friends a text or phonecall.

DaisyNGO · 22/12/2021 12:24

@ExConstance

I love cards and send about 100 each year. I normally get about the same amount back, though not all colleagues reciprocate. This year we have only had about 25. It seems people have stopped sending them quite suddenly, not a general tailing off. I'm a bit sad abo;ut this as I usually say a few words in addition to "Happy Christmas" and over the last 2 years it has been difficult to keep in touch with people in person. I feel very sad about this.
My parents said similar. They are in their 80s and used to receive so many cards.

I pointed out that a lot of people probably don't have the headspace to even think of it this year and they are still upset. They also seem to think it's related to the cost of stamps but I don't know how much stamps are.

I think some of this is about your view on casual acquaintances. I don't get much out of that.