What to buy a 93 year old woman with dementia

[thepastisanothercountry]

MIL.

Over time have got her dressing gown, slippers, gloves, scarves, nice toiletries an Alexa. She's likes / uses them all (though not quite sure she knows who they came from but that's not the point). They don't need replacing.

Books, jigsaws etc. are not a great plan for obvious reasons... she forgets she's read them or gets frustrated. If we buy her food she binge eats because she forgot she's eaten already.

She's got all the home furnishings etc. she needs, piles and piles of stationery.

I'm at a complete blank (weirdly if don't get her anything she will remember. If she does not like it she will keep talking about the fact I got her something she does not like and if she DOES like it she will keep saying "look what DSIL got me". Normally she likes it but I honestly do not know this time.

How advanced is the dementia? Some people like dolls they can look after like a real baby, but if she’s still quite cognisant it’ll probably just confuse her

Photo album
Cardigan
Slippers
Scarf
Nail polish
Favorite film
Afternoon tea

Photo book of family members
Flowers
Warm cardigan/shawl
Picture in a frame
Picture books of bygone days

A digital photo frame? I got one of those for my grandad after he was diagnosed with dementia and it seemed to be appreciated by him and my wider family

Something from Francis Frith with old photos of places she might remember from her younger years?

The calendar is very good value, even if she just looks through the photos as doesn’t use it as one.

A nice throw/blanket, something for over the legs or that can be wrapped around, I know an elderly relative really feels the cold and we got one that looks nice so she didn't feel like she was wrapped in a dumpy duvet/heavy cardi. We got one that was from a place we used to holiday so it had that sentimental touch.

Blanket? I’m sure I read some people with dementia enjoy tactile stimulation- you can get blanket with buttons, taggies, ribbons etc they can sit and keep their hands occupied.

I often buy planted bulbs for elderly relatives as it's quite nice to watch them come up. Or if they have a garden then maybe a bird feeder?

I can’t really get my MIL with dementia anything other than maybe a photo in a frame or some biscuits / chocolate (that she won’t remember she has) because everything else is met with confusion about what it is. Then 5 mins later she asks all over again what this is and what’s it doing there. And again 5 mins later, repeat. So I find just a tin of biscuits and maybe a photo of grandkids is enough although these days she doesn’t really recognise the grandkids all the time any more either. Horrible horrible disease

Look up fiddle muffs OP. My nan loved hers

Shawl
blanket
teddy
CD
photo album
book about her younger days (1930s)

Did she have a job before? What about a typewriter?
Depending on how advanced she is people often find a set of keys calming if they used to drive, or anything associated with their old profession. Agree with the doll comment too.

Necklace that slips over the head or a magnetic clasp www.etsy.com/uk/listing/845950214/pearl-magnetic-clasp-necklace
Elasticated bracelet www.notonthehighstreet.com/kathyjobsonjewellery/product/trio-of-hearts-bracelet

Neither need to be expensive but the urge to admire pretty things stays strong in my experience

Bird feeder that sticks to the window has been a massive and continuing hit

Book with mainly pictures. My mum loves cats so I bought this www.whsmith.co.uk/products/meow-a-book-of-happiness-for-cat-lovers-animal-happiness/anouska-jones/paperback/9781922539038.html, but there are many similar for other interests

Flower subscription or regular delivery of small packages of sweets/ biscuits/cakes

Cashmere socks or bed socks
A silk pillowcase (feels lovely to sleep on) - was a huge hit for my mum last year.
Pot plant or flower subscription
Pretty China mug or teapot

Not sure if she's in a care home or not. My aunt loved some bunting we gave her. A local shop was selling individual pretty triangles, each with a letter. We spelt out GREAT GRANNY and she loved pointing it out to everyone who went into her room. It seemed to give her a sense of family even though she was mixing us all up and couldn't have said who the great grandchildren were.

Either a normal photo album or a digital photo frame where you can add in photos from over the decades. Include old ones too.

If her hands fidget a lot you could look at a fiddle muff. You can buy them on Amazon and Etsy. If you know how to knit you could make one. It’s basically a snood with various buttons, fasteners and ribbons attached.

I was going to say digital photo frame too.
Could she handle a nice paint by numbers canvas?
Beading set?
Electric throw rug/blanket

My dgm had dementia and received the following
Cardis & jumpers
Her favourite perfume
Picture books of the royal family
Framed pictures of loved ones

Photos, in a book or album and including stuff she can remember from 'the old days'. Good luck it's tough. My GMIL loved looking at photos, and eating chocolate.

Something to wear that's really soft, like a soft wool/cashmere jumper.

Can you still buy bed jackets ?

A radio?

Nice biscuits / posh chocolates / tea hamper

My Mum had dementia and the best present I got her was a photo album I made with pictures of all the family and an explanation of who they were and I even made a family tree so when she showed it her carers would know who she was talking about.
Everything was wipe clean so if she spilt anything it would not cause an upset.

She also kept asking about her parents so I got hold of photos of them and put them in a nice frame and they were in her room at the nursing home.

Also second a doll as my Mum was obsessed with babies and she was convinced my brothers were still babies and got upset she could not find them and as soon as I got her a doll she calmed right down and cuddled that doll for hours. My DD has it now as she was given it when my Mum died. A cuddly toy/teddy could also be a comfort.

What about setting up an audio books thingey for her? Am doing this for my FIL who has limited sight. His Alexa is the best thing ever as he can ask the time, the weather, the news, etc. and she will play music, which is a huge comfort to him, and no fiddling with buttons etc. that he can't really see.