Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

No presents at Christmas?

102 replies

XmasSadface · 12/12/2021 13:47

Every year me and sis go to our parents for christmas, and my aunt and uncle go there too. My parents like to be in control running the show.

So we're all adults. None of us are hard up. Sometimes we do secret Santa but often the "rule" is we dont do presents.

Is it just me or is this quite sad? I think even if we only bought for a tenner per person, it's just kind of..nice to do christmas presents? It just feels a bit deflating and unfestive?

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 12/12/2021 13:49

Yes thats quite sad. Does your sister feel the same, if so why dont you buy gifts for each other?

ReginaaPhalange · 12/12/2021 13:49

I know there's more to Christmas than the gifts, but surely secret Santa would be a nice wee thing to do. That's a shame it's like that. Why not speak to your family and say "well me and x, y and z" are going to do secret Santa" and leave them to decide if they want to join in.

parrotonthesofa · 12/12/2021 14:02

Yes secret Santa sounds like a good idea. However, we don't do presents for adults in our family anymore because it all just got a bit much and we but got each other's birthday so that seems enough. Kids still get presents though obvs!

BluebellsGreenbells · 12/12/2021 14:04

Why not buy a board game for everyone?

Some decks of cards and a few bottles of wine?

Original poster
XmasSadface · 12/12/2021 14:04

Thanks for your replies! My sis agrees with me that it's sad. There is more to Christmas than presents but I mean....giving is a great feeling, it's fun to choose stuff people like, it's fun to open stuff.

This year I have actually bought presents for everyone as it was a tough year for my family and a big project that I was going to have to spend a lot of money on fell through. I felt like spending some money!

I've just seen in my family group someone has said "so no presents this year?" 🙈

OP posts:
HaveANiceFuckingDay · 12/12/2021 14:07

Are they struggling? They might not be able to afford it ? I know you said that no one is hard up but do you actually know this . I dont think it's sad. Me and my siblings dont buy for eachother

BluebellsGreenbells · 12/12/2021 14:08

Buy yourself a gift and open it with everyone else - or tell your sister you’ve brought her one!

Jumpingintochristmas · 12/12/2021 14:15

@XmasSadface

Thanks for your replies! My sis agrees with me that it's sad. There is more to Christmas than presents but I mean....giving is a great feeling, it's fun to choose stuff people like, it's fun to open stuff.

This year I have actually bought presents for everyone as it was a tough year for my family and a big project that I was going to have to spend a lot of money on fell through. I felt like spending some money!

I've just seen in my family group someone has said "so no presents this year?" 🙈

If no one is hard up I would say ‘after such a tough year why don’t we exchange gifts to cheer us all up’ Xmas Wink
FinallyHere · 12/12/2021 14:25

Is it just me or is this quite sad

The thing about hosting is that you get to set the rules. What's stopping you offering to host ? Then you can set the rules and decide what happens.

Original poster
XmasSadface · 12/12/2021 14:29

@FinallyHere
Believe me many of us would love to host (would also save having to traipse out to the middle of nowhere!) but we arent allowed!

OP posts:
elp30 · 12/12/2021 14:29

My children are adults now and we don't do presents, at all.
I never thought of it as sad and neither do they.
They come to our house to eat a meal, chat, watch a movie and play board games. It's a nice day.
I know that other people have said that it doesn't seem different than any other day and perhaps, they're correct. However, it's okay with us.

Original poster
XmasSadface · 12/12/2021 14:31

The thing with us is we are expected to get to theirs which is in a very remote location and then spend the week there. If it was popping over for christmas dinner I'd see it differently I reckon

OP posts:
elp30 · 12/12/2021 14:35

I forgot to mention that we do buy presents but they are not for each other but to a toy drive/ charity.
There's a tree at our local fire station with the names and ages of children and you take one or several off and get them a gift and return it to the fire station where the firemen and women dress up as Santa and deliver them.
That makes our family not buying gifts for each other feel okay.

SmolCat · 12/12/2021 14:36

I've just seen in my family group someone has said "so no presents this year?
You need to tell them what you’ve told us: “everything’s been quite tough recently and I thought presents would help cheer us all up so I’m definitely doing presents.”

nannybeach · 12/12/2021 14:59

elp30,same here, one DD suddenly lost her job,2disabled sons,makes them feel horrible as they either have no spare money ( or in the case of one, unable to get out) we get together,eat,drink,play board games.

sleepyhoglet · 12/12/2021 15:07

I would love that!! I hate random stuff for the sake of it

Robin233 · 12/12/2021 15:17

No presents - I still get excited.
All the kids are adults but though we don't go mad it's just lovely to give presents to people you love.

OrangeCrunch · 12/12/2021 15:23

I think if everyone can afford it, then yes, it's quite sad.

If it's a system that everyone is happy with however, then it's not a problem, but you and your sister aren't, so....

I actually think it's quite lazy. Even if it's just a token gift (again, if you can afford it) My parents don't buy each other gifts and I hate it. They can afford to, they just can't be bothered. I always end up over compensating with my gifts to them, because I feel bad for them on the day...which I know is nuts! Confused

RandomMess · 12/12/2021 15:36

A week!

Have you ever said "nope I'll come for a couple of days?"

pinkksugarmouse · 15/12/2021 19:53

@OrangeCrunch

I think if everyone can afford it, then yes, it's quite sad.

If it's a system that everyone is happy with however, then it's not a problem, but you and your sister aren't, so....

I actually think it's quite lazy. Even if it's just a token gift (again, if you can afford it) My parents don't buy each other gifts and I hate it. They can afford to, they just can't be bothered. I always end up over compensating with my gifts to them, because I feel bad for them on the day...which I know is nuts! Confused

😳 yes that is really weird. If your parents don’t want to buy presents for each other for any reason then that’s fine and it’s odd that you would compensate. If it mattered to them they would do it.
Ponoka7 · 15/12/2021 20:07

"I think if everyone can afford it, then yes, it's quite sad."

But you can then also afford to buy what you really want. To get into present buying, you've got to like random stuff and want to spend money even if it means that you don't get anything back that you'd keep.

GoodTid · 15/12/2021 20:19

'We have had a crap year so I decided to buy to all a present! BTW I'm going home on boxing day'

Whatisthisworld · 15/12/2021 20:42

Dh and I don’t do presents for each other the last few years, we just get what we like in Jan. Everything goes into Dd, 3 and our dog 🤣not too fussed or wanting presents, but think perhaps should start next year for Dd to see too

Honeyroar · 15/12/2021 20:51

@OrangeCrunch

I think if everyone can afford it, then yes, it's quite sad.

If it's a system that everyone is happy with however, then it's not a problem, but you and your sister aren't, so....

I actually think it's quite lazy. Even if it's just a token gift (again, if you can afford it) My parents don't buy each other gifts and I hate it. They can afford to, they just can't be bothered. I always end up over compensating with my gifts to them, because I feel bad for them on the day...which I know is nuts! Confused

I think this is weird. If your parents don’t want the hassle of buying each other gifts good for them! And what’s the point of some crappy token gift? My parents don’t really buy Christmas presents nowadays- and I wouldn’t want them to. They’ve helped me out so many times over the years - that means so much more than some token presents. Some people just don’t enjoy the fuss of Christmas. And that’s fine. Don’t make them feel it’s wrong.
Blossom64265 · 15/12/2021 21:09

I had an ex whose large family had a fun method for the adults. They just did stockings. You bought a stocking stuffer for every other adult. It could be personal or generic depending upon your inspiration that year and you didn’t have to do the same for everyone. There were no real price guidelines, but people tried to pick something useful or appreciated. Nothing was signed so part of the fun was guessing who gave what gift. It was sort of a secret Santa on steroids, but with many fewer rules and no real chance of disappointment since everyone got more than one small gift.