Bought a lot to compensate- is it too much?

[whyola]

I've NC'd.

My children have had a hard year. My husband (their dad) and I separated, there have been other stressful family issues and I just kept buying things for my 4 year old but now I don't know if it's going to be too much and overwhelming?

Currently, the list stands at:

Belle and horse large toddler doll
Kindi kids doll
Spider-Man walkie talkies
Polly pocket set
Minnie Mouse hotel
Blanket
Soft toy x 2
Fairy doll
Peter rabbit jack in the box
Baby tumbles
Toy torch and projector
Busy book
Pyjamas
Figure sets from programme x 2
Books
Small light up fairy dolls x 2
New backpack
Bend and flex Spider-Man
Small cry baby
LOL small doll
Ring set
Makeup set (small)
Paint your own fairy set
Disney animators playset

And then some smaller things for stocking like dinosaur figure, very small soft baby, small soft Bing, bubble bath etc.

As I said, she's had a very hard year and I just kept getting things I saw that she'd like without thinking about what I had. Should I give it all to her on the day, or should I keep some of it back for later on next year?

[PlumManor]

Wrap half up in birthday paper, you’re sorted for twelve months.

[Beebababadabo]

Yanbu. He needs to replace them.

[ladygindiva]

Missing the point but I want to know where and when you got the Disney animators playset as they never have any at the Disney shop when I look. I really want to get another for my dds!

[westofnormal]

Why hold it back.. why not return it? But ultimately you can do what you want.

[Storminamu]

That's about right for 10 children.

[user290814356289]

I think that's fine op, my kids get roughly the same.

[Toffeewhirl]

The year my parents separated, when I was nine, my dad went to Hamlyns and bought me loads of toys. On Christmas Day, I was still unpacking them ages after everyone else had finished unwrapping their own. It's a very happy memory 😊.

Having said that, I do think you've bought too much for a four-year old. I mean, my presents all fitted into one big bag, whereas it sounds like yours would fill a room! I'm sure your DD would be happier with half that amount. Plus you don't want to set up expectations that she'll always get this many presents.

[mathanxiety]

Way too much.

Cut it back to one baby doll, one set of figures, books ( you can read together and after a tough year she will love this more than anything) and one stuffed animal.

Keep the painting kit until the after Christmas doldrums.

Save the rest for end of school year, birthday, and even next Christmas.

Take time to do things together - baking, singing, dancing, reading, playing pretend games.

If you want to start a tradition of thinking of others, how about taking some of the gifts to a toy bank for needy children together?

Your child doesn't want stuff this year. She wants you to be a gentle leader, to do things together.

[pinkksugarmouse]

I understand how this has happened but I think a four year old would be very overwhelmed with so much and maybe wouldn’t notice lots of things.
Could you put some away for their birthday?

[episcomama]

I would hold a third back for other occasions and give a third to a charity.

[LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood]

I am surprised that so many people think a 4 year old will be overwhelmed by that number of presents. All my DC had a similar amount of presents throughout their childhoods. They were never overwhelmed, are not spoilt and still appreciate what they are given. I’m not presuming the OP’s child won’t be overwhelmed. But I would not presume they will be either. Really it’s impossible to say.

Given you are seeking views, you have bought the things now OP and unless the purchases have caused you financial hardship (in which case I’d see if some can go back) I’d just give it to her.

Sorry you have both had such a difficult time.

[gogohm]

Too much, return some or keep for birthday

[RedwineforSantaplease]

It's way too much. What if her dad gets her the same amount because he's feeling the same? Add in presents from other relatives and she could end up with 60+ sizeable presents.

What did you buy your younger child?

[ImFree2doasiwant]

That's loads. Keep some back for her birthday. I've done that twice now!

[Holskey]

I think this is like when you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet and nothing tastes as nice because there's just too much.

You'll devalue each item if you give it all at once. There's no upside. You're just making everything less special.

[Phphion]

At least 10 new dolls / cuddly toys all at once seems too much for a four year old. There is too much overlap in how you play with them and it will be hard for her to play with and appreciate them all.

The rest is a lot, but at least they are different things.

[DSGR]

I think it’s fine, just don’t buy her much the rest of the year?

[dementedma]

Way too much

[CherryRedDMs]

@BlackcurrantTea I gave my little boy this doll for his third birthday and he’s very soft and nice to cuddle. Good size for a toddler to take care of too.
www.u-buy.co.uk/product/CZ57LKQ-manhattan-toy-snuggle-baby-doll-hooded-bear-sleep-sack

[Tatum1234]

I think it’s fine, we always do a big pile at Christmas of about 20-30 things each. If you can afford it then I don’t see the issue. My kids appreciate everything and aren’t spoiled.

[FrownedUpon]

Too much. She’ll expect that amount every year so you need to be careful. A few well chosen presents are enough. Mine wouldn’t have played with half of that.

[Carpetsareforflying]

If you can afford it and you've spent fairly between your kids what does it matter. Going off what people say here I'm extravagant, but I don't feel I am. They only get toys birthday and Christmas. I get them what they want as long as it's affordable, but I'm also good at finding a bargain/voucher code etc.

I'd rather they had toys than tech.

[Storminamu]

It's not about being extravagant - it's about loads and loads of stuff which fills your and their space up and which they don't in any way want or need. They'd get more out of less.
I used to pick up quite a few toys from charity shops. They cost almost nothing, but I regret getting them so many things. They'd have had more fun with less. They ignored a lot of it.

[Storminamu]

And spending "fairly" doesn't mean anything to young children. They don't know or care how much something costs. They don't compare in that way.

[ThePoisonousMushroom]

Agree, it’s not about the extravagance. I have no issue with how much people spend, if they can afford it. It’s about the fact that numerous studies show that kids fare better with fewer toys, rather than mountains of them. It helps imagination and play.