Do you have an "Impossible To Buy For" DP? Come hither, share your frustrations and your ideas

[SweatyTits]

I have an "Impossible To Buy For" (ITBF) DP.

There's just nothing he's particularly 'into' and he's pretty happy with the simple things in life.
We don't do 'big' presents for each other so that makes things easier but I still find myself wondering what on earth to get every year!

Added to my DP's pre-existing ITBF-ness, my mother insists that I buy all of her presents to DP as well. And, as if that's not enough it's also my DP's birthday a week before Christmas.

So, DP's ITBF-ness is tripled because I have to buy Christmas presents from me, Christmas presents from my mother, and birthday presents.

We don't do 'big' birthdays though so a few little things are okay.

I usually get DP a jumper or a hoody of some kind, a few bottles of expensive/unusual booze, and a few books as standard.
I also tend to get him a few bits and pieces for his office which would be a horrible, soulless white box if it wasn't for my flourishes

I've bought him a fancy advent calendar but that's not really a Christmas present as such.

At the moment, DP is developing a small hole in his jeans and I'm excited because it means I have another present idea - NEW JEANS

Ladies with ITBF DP's.... tell me your tales of woe, and let's share some ideas!

kind of banned him from buying himself things

This is my issue. DH loves to buy presents and asks for ideas. From about August Bank Holiday, I was expected to not buy myself anything I fancied so that he could buy it and wrap it for Christmas.

Such nonsense.

So, now, I ask for things that I know I usually use, L'Occitaine Almond Shower Oil is always a winner and tends to last me year round. Such a luxury. Then I can try thing myself and only ask for them 'for Christmas' only when I know I like them.

@whosaidtha

I'm at a total loss.

Could you agree to do no presents. Make a donation for a local good cause instead snd enjoy a hassle free Christmas together ?

The fire cones actually look lovely and I'm getting them.
Apart from that, not much else comes to mind. Possibly one of those maps from a pp. But then will he regale me with all the funny names each night for a week until I want to get a new patio or hes bored?
He has a leatherman, sigh. He has enough whisky to sink a battleship because EVERYONE else buys him whisky. He has so many tshirts I really cant bring myself to buy him more. He rarely drinks coffee, experience days are a little out of my budget ( and in the end would he do it? I'm not sure)
There is
m.lightinthebox.com/en/p/21grams-men-s-short-sleeve-cycling-jersey-summer-spandex-black-bike-top-mountain-bike-mtb-road-bike-cycling-quick-dry-breathable-sports-clothing-appar_p8603048.html?from_cid=5328&prm=1-2.2.1.1#header_anchor

But will he think its hilarious and wear it or think its hilarious but not actually suitable and a proper high viz is better.
Hes had sugru and I got a 🤨
Hes not a foody and after all this I then need to get him something for his birthday a whole week after Christmas.

@FinallyHere but I want presents!
I am easy to buy for and send him links throughout October &November. I make it super easy. Wish he could do the same.

@whosaidtha I understand that some people like having presents (DH is one such) but I honestly can't see why anyone would really rather have presents, which are supposed to be surprises, and cause angst for the buyer (see this thread) rather than just a budget to buy anything you fancy as and when you see it?

Like would be a lot easier, especially around Christmas, if everyone did it my way. DSis and I have been known to each buy ourselves something, absolute bliss. No worries whether its what they might like, and within budget. I can't recommend it highly enough.

DSis and I have been known to each buy ourselves something, absolute bliss.

We started to do this with friends who live abroad, we buy something for ourselves which we're would t otherwise have bought (I often buy a new Christmas decoration that costs a little more than I would normally spend, or a Christmas planted basket etc) and then on Christmas Eve we exchange photos of said gift.

A friend and her husband buy their own main present, wrap it up and then the other partner unwraps it on Christmas morning to see what they have gifted their other half.

Wouldn't work for everyone but might be the answer for some.

My ITBF has asked for BT sport which is literally the last thing I want him to have (we already have sky).

I think I'm going to forget for ski vouchers at a real ski place.

There’s a big age gap between DH and me and he probably had most of what he wanted before I was in double figures. I got him a pair of binoculars for his birthday one year which was nice because for once he got a gift he didn’t already know what it was.

Usually there are a couple of new hardbacks out by authors he likes and he gets a box of hotel chocolat. He always knows what he is getting so it seems daft wrapping it but at least he always gets things he wants.

I just got him a sweatshirt from this shop: www.theproudlondon.co.uk/collections/unisex-sweatshirts/products/skip-a-straw-save-a-turtle-crewneck-unisex?_pos=2&_sid=26dd54d4c&_ss=r&variant=30732516753490

They sell organic sustainable clothing and DH is very concerned about the environment.

He has a sweatshirt from the same company that he wears constantly. Only con is that we live in London and some people think he belongs to extinction rebellion when we walk around central london!

I’ve had a few thoughts but not ordered anything yet, I’m definitely going to order some fire cones for him, other things I have considered are
Fridge camera
Tissue box that clips onto sun visor in the car
Bluetooth sunglasses
Football shirt
The chocolate bars where the wrappers are merged to make swear words (Etsy do them in a box like a hamper)
phone holder for the car with wireless charging

Will keep looking back for ideas and post anymore that I think of, I always find these threads really useful

So glad I found this thread!

And thanks to a PP, DH will be getting new sunglasses this Christmas. He’s not a big reader anymore but I’ll still try to find a book he will like, maybe a coffee table photography book.

@Sn0tnose

Have you tried going a bit rogue? Maybe some lego? You can pick up Star Wars sets from around £20 so it wouldn’t be a huge waste of money if he looked at you like you’d had a bump on the head.

Or falconry/zookeeper experiences? Or a blacksmiths course (you can get a day making a knife or bbq tool in a forge for quite a reasonable price). Or a day on a race track, or a foraging experience, or a cooking lesson (curry, bbq, making sausages etc). Boots/trainers, aftershaves, satnav/dash cam, there’s a woman in Brighton who does experience days teaching everything from how to use power tools to making garden seats out of pallets, so I expect there would be similar in other places, a retro games console, an evening course, magazine subscriptions, TicketMaster vouchers, glass blowing experience, hair trimmers, a wet shave at a proper barbers, pig & hen bracelet, a guitar/ukulele, a camera &/or lesson in how to get the best out of it, sock and boxer subscriptions, a new phone, a fit bit, exercise gear/clothes, a nice watch, a posh man bag, rucksack or briefcase, a weekend bag, a silk tie if he has to wear them, a tie pin, cuff links, if you’re near the coast, a wetsuit and bodyboard, some very expensive whiskey, a selection of cigars from somewhere like Selfridges, beginner’s fishing gear, a sea fishing trip, if he’s a chocolate fan you could fill a box with every sort of chocolate known to man, you can get subscriptions for treats from different countries (the green Kit Kats from Japan stuck in my mind), tickets to a vintage cinema or a monthly cinema pass, a UK city break, you could sponsor an animal either abroad or in the UK (lots of sanctuary’s do this, as well as Dogs/Cats Trust and they send you updates on your animal throughout the year), grow your own Venus Flytrap/cucumelons/purple carrots, an ice shaving/slush puppy machine or a basketful of puppies.

I think I love you, @Sn0tnose. These are amazing ideas! Thank you!

@EekGoesTheBaby You are so welcome!

My husband is a nightmare as well - a few main interests (notably golf), but there's only so many golf balls/towels/putter heads etc you can buy. A couple of years after we got together (and one year where we'd been on a fair few holidays and got engaged), I put together a A4 photobook of pictures through the year to mark what we'd been up to and every year since I've done the same thing (so it solved my problem for future years!). It's actually turned into a nice little collection, and DS4 also loves sitting down and going through them to watch himself growing up over the years.

@Cinderbelly I’d never heard of those sweary chocolate boxes - they’re fab! Thanks so much that’s my older nephews sorted for their something to open gift (as I give them cash as their main present).

Best thing I bought was a flight simulator experience.

And personalized golf tees.

I discovered that one of our favourite comedians is performing in our home town on ITBF DH's March birthday. I've bought tickets and will give them to him on Xmas day so totally counts as a Xmas gift even though it is going to be on his birthday 😬

A couple of other ideas I've had - a personalised flask for tea on the go, a nice bottle of whisky or rum, these chocolate ball things he pointed out in M&S. That's all I've got.

Oh and some sort of fancy chilli sauce.

So… I made a decision!

I have ordered MAGNETIC CABLES and a leather cover with his initials on for his AirPod pro that I bought for his birthday.
I bought the family pack of cables as I am hoping to snaffle one!
Sharing is caring!

I got DH a Beano t-shirt but then DS told him 🤦

DH is ITBF. He doesn't have any hobbies really, does lots of DIY but already has lots of good quality tools. He's a self-employed landscape gardener, so anything garden related would be a bit lame. He doesn't "do" smellies at all, never wears aftershave etc. He fishes a bit, but got stuff for his birthday. He drinks whiskey, so every year I get him a fancy one, that's become a bit predictable. It's become a bit of an ongoing not-very-funny joke that whatever I buy, he won't like.

Prior failures, which other ITBF's might actually like, include:
A Garmin bike device to track his bike rides, mileage, record his route etc. (He had just bought a bike. The bike got used about three times, the Garmin never got used at all.)
A diver's watch (which he had asked for, but didn't like the one I chose)
One of those ceramic tile pictures depicting a boat
A jacket
Assorted books, even about subjects he is interested in, don't get read.

Successes:
I used to sew a bit, so I made a shirt for him - he's an awkward shape and struggles to get shirts that fit well, so he liked that.
A case for his Leatherman
Metal detector
Binoculars
A good torch (if you can get over the fact that it's called Big Larry!)

I once bought him anti-glare night-driving glasses, but he hasn't mentioned those, so I'm not sure if they were a bit or a miss, I'll have to ask.

He does use Audible, as he listens to audio books whilst he works, but when I last checked, it wasn't possible to buy credits for someone who already has their own account - you could set up a new account for someone though, and load it up with credit.

We actually need a new cooker though, so we've talked about just getting that instead of buying each other gifts, but it feels a bit boring. I'd like some nice presents!

I'm on the look out for stocking filler ideas for DP, he's a nightmare to buy for and I'm determined to only buy him useful or consumable things this year. We're moving next year and will have to consolidate two houses into one so I don't want to add to the problem. I've got him a new tablet for his main present, fingers crossed he doesn't decide to replace his knackered iPad in the meantime.

The best thing I ever got my Dad was a few battery operated motion sensitive lights which are so lightweight that you can hold them up with those sticky fixer pads. He's put them in awkward spots like the back corner of the shed and continues to remark on what a difference they've made to his life.
The best present I get for DH each Xmas is to take the kids out for a day between Xmas and NY giving him a day to lie on the sofa and watch TV in peace. One of my friends nicked this idea so we now have a very nice day out together with our kids!

A previous years present that went down well

www.amazon.co.uk/Scruffs-T54631-Knitted-Beanie-Black/dp/B07HP9MKG5/ref=asc_df_B07HP9MKG5/?hvlocphy=9046323&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=311100035930&hvpone&hvlocint&hvpos&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-572753961784&hvrand=14917709120120199786

They come in many price points, they sell in many other outlets. Google beanie hat with light.

They mostly snap out of the rubber holding it in for charging. Can still wash the beanie usually.