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Do you have an "Impossible To Buy For" DP? Come hither, share your frustrations and your ideas

125 replies

SweatyTits · 06/10/2021 15:27

I have an "Impossible To Buy For" (ITBF) DP.

There's just nothing he's particularly 'into' and he's pretty happy with the simple things in life.
We don't do 'big' presents for each other so that makes things easier but I still find myself wondering what on earth to get every year!

Added to my DP's pre-existing ITBF-ness, my mother insists that I buy all of her presents to DP as well. And, as if that's not enough it's also my DP's birthday a week before Christmas.

So, DP's ITBF-ness is tripled because I have to buy Christmas presents from me, Christmas presents from my mother, and birthday presents.

We don't do 'big' birthdays though so a few little things are okay.

I usually get DP a jumper or a hoody of some kind, a few bottles of expensive/unusual booze, and a few books as standard.
I also tend to get him a few bits and pieces for his office which would be a horrible, soulless white box if it wasn't for my flourishes Grin

I've bought him a fancy advent calendar but that's not really a Christmas present as such.

At the moment, DP is developing a small hole in his jeans and I'm excited because it means I have another present idea - NEW JEANS Grin

Ladies with ITBF DP's.... tell me your tales of woe, and let's share some ideas!

OP posts:
drspouse · 12/10/2021 11:52

@CoffeeChocolateWine my DCs would also be VERY excited to give DH some fire cones, thanks!

clpsmum · 12/10/2021 11:53

@drspouse have you seen the personalised football books that are actually newspaper football pages from the year they're born that might be good

drspouse · 12/10/2021 11:55

[quote clpsmum]@drspouse have you seen the personalised football books that are actually newspaper football pages from the year they're born that might be good [/quote]
Ooh actually he might like one from the glory days when he used to have a season ticket...

clpsmum · 12/10/2021 14:11

@drspouse great glad I could help!

RockingMyFiftiesNot · 12/10/2021 21:50

@JoyPeaceHope

I would suggest asking difficult people to make a list of things they would like or an Amazon Wishlist, or similar online.

If they give enough options it will still be a surprise which one they get.

If they can only think of one thing themselves in the whole world then how on earth are YOU supposed to think of anything? So they will have no surprise but they get something they're happy with and you don't lose your mind.

If only it were that simple!!!
Itstheweekendyasssss · 12/10/2021 22:07

I struggle as he is so content and I feel I am just buying stuff that will lurk in our house until I put it away, unused!
I have started just getting sth that I like, even consumables are left lying around for months! He is just happy with his lot! A night away or some activity to “make a memory”? Zoo tickets or cinema tickets? Concert?

clpsmum · 13/10/2021 08:36

Flash 50% off sale at Tokyo laundry if anyone is looking for men's hoodies, t shorts, slippers, dressing gowns etc

Sweetener12 · 13/10/2021 10:11

My SO is impossible to buy for so I usually ask him whether there is something he's planning to get, be it a Photoworks upgrade or a fancy new shirt and then I get it for him. He isn't a great fan of celebrating his own Birthday but he likes Christmas and the whole atmosphere and he genuinely enjoys having movie nights and decorating the house. It's like he loves the preparations more than the actual day!

CoffeeChocolateWine · 13/10/2021 11:04

I just bought my DH one of these maps…as well as one for my DS and DF. They look fun!

Pollaidh · 13/10/2021 12:46

Another one for a cheese hamper. Has gone down brilliantly with 5 different ITBF men recently! Though they do all like cheese.

The Fine Cheese Co www.finecheese.co.uk do beautifully wrapped hampers and their cheese are really top quality.

Tinysnickers · 13/10/2021 14:46

Placemarking to read later.
My DP is also a winter birthday so need to get double presents. Plus big birthday this year so extra pressure!
He doesn't do gadgets really, and he just buys books and CDs when he wants them. I usually get him some alcohol, but a bit devoid of ideas apart from that.

MamsellMarie · 15/10/2021 05:40

The BBC do a monthly Sky at Night magazine £25 for 6 months - also do digital version. I would like this for myself as we live in a clear skies area, often wonder what stars I'm looking at.

whosaidtha · 15/10/2021 06:30

Can I win a prize if I have the hardest to buy for?
Vegan, non-drinking stuff hating man. He doesn't want anything. My go to is clothes but so is everyone else's so he got loads of new clothes for his birthday last month. He's minimalist so doesn't want anything that's trinkety it must have a function he needs.
No alcohol or food hampers.
I'm at a total loss.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 15/10/2021 07:51

@Araisaris

Giving clarkson any of my money has put me off the diddlysquat website.
Same!
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/10/2021 08:32

@whosaidtha

Can I win a prize if I have the hardest to buy for? Vegan, non-drinking stuff hating man. He doesn't want anything. My go to is clothes but so is everyone else's so he got loads of new clothes for his birthday last month. He's minimalist so doesn't want anything that's trinkety it must have a function he needs. No alcohol or food hampers. I'm at a total loss.
Maybe do what I did one year when I didn’t really want or need anything - (except a particular coat that cost over £1k)*

So to save dh racking his brains I told him not to get me anything (except the obligatory chocs and big box of Maltesers), went and did a really big, trolley-load shop just for the food bank, and told him that was his present to me.

*though TBH it would never have looked half as good on size 14 me, as it did on the size 8 model in the pic.

TuftyMarmoset · 15/10/2021 09:05

What about a fountain pen @whosaidtha? They are useful, quite eco friendly and you can get some of them engraved with a nice message

JumperandJacket · 15/10/2021 09:32

Oh, on fountain pens I’ve bought from here before- really interesting handmade pens made out of wood from old railway carriages etc.

www.devonpens.co.uk/collections/fountain-pens

drspouse · 15/10/2021 09:51

@whosaidtha

Can I win a prize if I have the hardest to buy for? Vegan, non-drinking stuff hating man. He doesn't want anything. My go to is clothes but so is everyone else's so he got loads of new clothes for his birthday last month. He's minimalist so doesn't want anything that's trinkety it must have a function he needs. No alcohol or food hampers. I'm at a total loss.
Sponsorship of something or a cultural trip? Vegan meal out?
Trumpton · 15/10/2021 09:56

I think I am going to get my impossible to buy for DH a cover for his AirPod case that I got him for his birthday.

Do you have an "Impossible To Buy For" DP? Come hither, share your frustrations and your ideas
whosaidtha · 15/10/2021 11:34

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER
He would like that idea but also really wants something to open on the day. Need something for the kids to get him too.

@TuftyMarmoset thanks for the idea but I got him one once. Sits unused in a drawer.
So tough!

ChiaraMontague · 15/10/2021 12:31

@ningaj the Crackerdash board game would be great for DH! Might save it for his birthday and pair with some lovely cheeses and wine.

EmmaStone · 15/10/2021 12:48

Im not sure if this has been mentioned, but I read somewhere that men like what they've already got, but better versions. So DH seems delighted to be given the exact.same.jumper he's had for years (which is now holey), and you know he'll wear it because it's the same.

Ditto things like bikes, trainers, headphones, etc etc

alpinia · 15/10/2021 13:05

Thanks for the Spicery link. That's a gift for my father sorted.

Previous gifts that have gone down well with the hard to buy for men in the family here are:
A Topl personalised coffee mug. The recipient is fascinated by the no spill feature.
A kit for learning how to pick padlocks.
The Roomba vacuum is practically a member of the family now.
Harmattan smart belt - ultra adjustable belt.
Cooking school voucher.
Praveen Kumar curry delivery

This year they are getting a Bird Buddy camera bird feeder (if it arrives in time) and a Stoov heated outdoor seat cushion. They spend a lot of time in the garden and out and about at various events with a camping chair so I think it will work.

ZimZamZoom · 15/10/2021 13:47

omg @SweatyTits your OP is uncannily like my own situation. My DH is ITBF, his birthday is around a week before Christmas, my Mum (and my grandparents) insist I must get him a "little something to open on the day" from all of us and they pay me back. So, with also having two young DC, I end up having to think of EIGHT gifts for an ITBF DH every December.

I haven't RTFT (am about to do so now) but I don't have many ideas sadly. I usually end up buying him several t-shirts, socks and maybe having some photos of the DC printed. He would genuinely be happy with literally zero presents but I always feel like we should make a small effort.

123forestisme · 15/10/2021 13:52

Thanks for the diddly squat farm shop link I hadn't thought of that and DP should like it. I usually go for consumables, interesting herbs and spices, condiments, fancy cheese etc. Generally things I don't like myself as I do 99% of the shopping, cooking and food prep so that way they feel like more of a gift for him rather than just things I might like to cook with. On that note I'm tempted to buy myself a the spicery curry book. We generally don't do hugely expensive presents which make it harder because he has expensive tastes