Very Tricky Gift To Buy

[TedTookVows]

There is a member of my extended family who I really really dislike. They are a horror and I feel like I could go further but I won't. I severely limit all contact with them, but (usually) can't get out of Christmas.

I tend to operate a "if they go low you go high" principle with them but I am worn down by the way they continuously deliberately passive aggressively insult me via gifts. Recent past include : a single wrapped sweet that only comes in a larger multibag, amongst a box of tat, regifted shot glasses that someone else bought them (I don't do shots) and airfreshener.

Believe me this person is the worst.

So basically I need a "poison chalice" gift.

Please list gifts that looked good and you thought would be good but were in fact the worst eg bath salts that gave you thrush

(lighthearted)

Oxfam goats usually go down pretty badly- is there any charity they would loathe that you could donate to or buy a gift from?

A nice black soap - we bought one and it looks and smells amazing in the box but is like a horror film every time it’s used in the shower

Yes actually, there is a specific social group they hate but I have never seen charity gifts for these charities

@lurker101

Brand please?!

I think a novelty apron really expresses disdain as a gift.

A bayliss and Harding gift pack

These lol

This is a really excellent charity:

www.toilettwinning.org/why-60/

How about an “Experience” present… like volunteering them to clean up their local area or deliver food to elderly or homeless people?

I would get them a charity gift donation for a favourite charity of yours that you would usually donate to anyway - then they will have the rage of knowing you are the one really enjoying their gift, as it were.

Something bodily that does good work like the Fistula Foundation.

My SIL, who loathes me, put together a gift box which looked attractive.
It contained a hard skin remover for feet, a foot deodorant and 'odour eater' shoe spray. I have only seen her once (at a funeral) in 5 years, so I'm fairly confident she has not had experience of me emitting a strong smell from my feet!
How we laughed on Christmas Day.

I wouldn't get them anything.

Why bother?, No love lost - you save money and purchase less crap bound for landfill.

Peakypolly oh that’s awful! She sounds a peach!

My uncle used to do passive-aggressive gifting when we were young. One year all my family each got an individually-wrapped generic camera film from a multipack. Another year it was a pair of 30 denier “American tan” nylons each (again from a multipack but split up and individually wrapped). One splendid year we all got a slightly dusty Cadbury’s Creme Egg each for Christmas

We really looked forward to seeing what items would appear each year

Failing that I'd go with a nice razor, shaving foam and one of those twiddly epilating sticks for your tache or a house cleaning supply hamper

My DH has a relationship like this with his Uncle.
One year he bought him a subscription to a newspaper he viscirally disagrees with.
Uncle retaliated with a DVD about the Nazis and a note reading "This is so you can understand what a real Nazi is, and stop casting aspersions on your uncle"
It's all very silly.

No no @DoucheCanoe that’s just not the true spirit of Christmas! The true joy is in the giving!

The onlinepoundstore has a punk novelty dish brush?

One of those in car bins that go over the head rest and down the back of the seat. About £5 on Amazon. Wrap it beautifully.

"Merry Christmas, your car's a shit tip"

A friend of mine drew a colleague he really didn't like at all in their secret Santa. He bought one of those car washer fluid with sponge kits. Apparently she hated it and made it very clear. She made such a big deal about it, apparently the colleague who drew her the next year bought her the exact same thing. Everyone else thought it was absolutely hilarious, she was livid.
I liked this one as it didn't go down well as a gift, but would get used rather than just thrown away. Although I am sick of hearing the story!!

I think foxgoosefinch's idea is excellent a charity you love, so they actually receive nothing, the charity benefits, and they know your actually enjoing the gift

@Peakypolly

I have also had this gift from The Horror, a footskin scraper that I am completely unable to use for medical reasons

@DoucheCanoe

Believe me if this was an option I would take it - could only be achieved via "a no adult gifts policy" which would penalise me more than anyone.

@xjox1983

So VERY tempting, but concerned they might get there via Google and wish to be subtle.

Could do a Greatest Hits Package, copies of the things I've received, possibly too costly.

Would guess that near 100% of Christmas gifts in the last 5 years from The Horror have just been random shit from their house wrapped up. I would like to do similar but not remotely obvious.

A tacky birthday card

There was a thread recently where someone had been bought a facial hair remover called "flawless"... could be an idea?

A hair sugaring removal kit... ouch!

An explosive glitter bomb Christmas Card - sent in the post anonymously. The gift that keeps on giving