Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@lucysmam WHS are doing it for £9 atm apparently. People have also found it for as little as £5 or £6 on eBay, IIRC.

Ooh, thanks @HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule I'll have to pop into WHS next time I'm in town! I've checked ebay but couldn't find it cheaply on there atm. I'll keep looking.

I'm tempted to pick up one of The Works' needle felting kits next time I'm in town too, just to have a go.

Time to iron...then check the pantry for cake ingredients

Hello Poncers - any suggestions on the best ways to decorate Kraft paper for wrapping? I’ve been given a 20m roll and don’t want it to go to waste but… it’s just so … brown

Print with gold or silver motifs - something like snowflakes or stars - or white if you want it to look more sedate (which is my preference). Then use red ribbon, or twine, or any number of lovely strings etc and tie with embellishments like little wooden beads or maybe tiny jingle bells to jazz it up. You can also make very effective paper origami-style toppers.

I have bought white doilies to go on mine.

Ohhh yes @Trumpton that’s beautiful too! I did that one year and it’s so pretty.

I like the Dollie snowflake effect Trumpton but if the pressie is a more awkward shape how easy is it to have the same effect

Red cabbage and apple has been made 😀😀 nicely spiced this year

I always brine my turkey.. don't do nigellas as there's just too much stuff in it which is completely ridiculous

I use an old cool box and put it outside.

The best method I've found for cooking the turkey is Raymond Blancs version. It's so quick and easy and is juicy and delicious. www.raymondblanc.com/recipes/the-perfect-roast-turkey/

Cook ahead freezer festive sides Delia has some great ones, in her Christmas book from the bbc. www.amazon.co.uk/Delia-Smiths-Christmas-Smith/dp/0563370645

@StormyCornishSeas
I collect boxes through the year (ask for shoe boxes) and so tend to have regular shaped presents! Lazy way!

Very nearly done with the kitchen decorations (newly done this year & is our main living area now). I’m not crafty (& on a budget) so I’ve bought some white, grey & silver Pom poms to hang from the ceiling in groups along with some giant 3D snowflakes ❄️ Sounds mad but looks very effective in my head Also got some snowflake stickers for the big bifold doors & these robin branch stickers from Etsy. Got candy cane/gingerbread bunting but not sure where they are going yet.

Doing Christmas dinner for my Jewish in laws this year. It’s my first Christmas dinner so I want to make it super poncy. Really need ideas to make the table nice. I love fairy lights. Any ideas welcome for the craft-challenged!!

[quote Trumpton]@StormyCornishSeas
I collect boxes through the year (ask for shoe boxes) and so tend to have regular shaped presents! Lazy way![/quote]
That's a good idea, thanks!

DD1 and I spent the afternoon yesterday decorating brown wrapping paper with stamps (green Christmas trees and Merry Christmas in red.) I'm tempted to just let her loose with colouring in in some of it but as she's only 4 that could be..... interesting.

I have never made mince pies but want to make my own this year. Does anyone have any advice or links to recipes? Last year I cheated and made mincemeat whirls by spreading shop bought puff pastry with mincemeat and grated marzipan then rolling up and slicing then baking. They were nice but I'd like to go one better this year!

Hello I love reading these threads and although I’m not that great at poncing I do have a few ideas. Definitely want to try some marmalade gin I usually do the slow gin but fancy a change. Also going to get ahead and freeze some braised red cabbage and a few batches of mince pies.
I just bought the Nigella Christmas from EBay and it’s a joy to delve into for ideas and getting that festive feeling going.
Not sure what meat to go with this year my DF has bought me an expensive piece of local beef as my Christmas present and I may get a plump free range chicken or Turkey crown from butchers.
Thanks for all the great ideas on here.

Firework mincemeat whirls sound fun! I'll add those to the list of things to try.

@Firework; This is the mincemeat recipe I always use. It's much lighter than most, because of the pureed apply.recipz.blogspot.com/2014/03/home-and-freezer-digest-enduring-legacy.html

@TommyShelby hobbycraft have a set of 8 Xmas stamps for £2 which I have bought to spruce up the kraft paper this year. Raffia ribbon in a variety of colours is good too as it all recycles together.
Can recommend big writing across Kraft paper with thick metallic markers - saves messing with tags!

Oooh some great ideas there - thanks guys! I’ll be raiding hobby craft I think!

Bit knackered after a weekend in the kitchen. Made the spiced apple chutney that was recommended, the mincemeat is done and Delia's Creole cake has been baked. I have done a test batch of the freeze-ahead rosaries. I also did a practice sausage roll wreath but it needs a bit more practice. Also did a batch of sausage rolls for the freezer

FFS Roasties!

Loving the freeze ahead rosaries 😂

I've unearthed an advent calendar kit that I bought a couple of years ago in anticipation of DD1 buying her own house. The pandemic put paid to that until this year so I've added that to my to-do list.

@lucysmam thanks for the gingerbread recipe. I had to google iris folding. I think my dd would really enjoy doing that so I’m going to save that for a slow afternoon.

I’ve had a bit of a frustrating weekend - I had a list of supplies I wanted to pick up but only managed about a third of what I wanted so I haven’t enough of anything to complete a project. If I can’t find what I need by next week I’ll have to rethink some of my plans.

Iris folding looks way more impressive & complicated than it actually is @thelegohooverer. Follow the instructions to the letter first time & it should click quite quickly! The cards & papers I used were from The Works. I'll probably look for some nicer papers next time I'm in town though.

I printed my Kraft paper with a Merry Christmas stamp, made matching tags and tied with bakers twine. I’m only an amateur poncer but I think they’ll do.

@thelegohooverer what are you short of? I mainly knit and crochet with a bit of sewing thrown in for good measure but I have dabbled in other crafts and may have surplus supplies that I can send you.

[quote sueelleker]@Firework; This is the mincemeat recipe I always use. It's much lighter than most, because of the pureed apply.recipz.blogspot.com/2014/03/home-and-freezer-digest-enduring-legacy.html[/quote]
Thanks for the mincemeat recipe, it sounds lovely!

Sausage roll wreath looks amazing, at least you can have fun testing out all the recipes..... I'd be interested to see how freeze ahead roasties worked.

My only poncing today wasn't really Christmas related other than I did an audit of all of my baking stuff and had marzipan that needed using along with some fruit and almonds so I made apple and pear crumble and added cinnamon/mixed spice and grated marzipan to the fruit then baked with a crumble topping with added oats and chopped almonds. It tasted pretty Christmassy with the nuts and spices even if it wasn't strictly Christmas food.