Poncetastic Christmas 2021

[VivaJen]

Welcome to the 2021 Poncetastic thread. With a nod to Fellatio (wherever she is), at the stroke of midnight, let the poncing commence.

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobs worth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapés and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessie’s' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@Row1n I often spruce up fake garlands and wreaths with garden clippings and just add bits in and pull out the very dry bits throughout December. I don’t find they dry out too much, but I keep adding more for the fresh smell.

@Sn0tnose I have a few non- Christmas related jobs to do but I’ve wanted to get round to something like these Christmas village candle jars for ages. There’s a very long list of poncetastic plans that I never quite get round to.

@SevenSwansASwimming yes definitely. Christmas prep on 30th September is smugly early; 1st October is cutting it fine.

@thelegohooverer I think I shall have to invest in some fake wreath bases and do as you suggest to keep them looking their best. I love those lanterns as well, I may steal that idea if that's ok

My favourite christmas film is While You Were Sleeping, pure sop but I quite like Sandra Bullock!

I use natural grapevine wreaths as the basis for my Christmas wreaths. They are very inexpensive from The Range or Hobbycraft, and easy to poke in/wire on additions. I'm currently making an autumn one using fir cones and teeny faux toadstools. I'm hoping that will also transition into Christmas until I replace it with one from a workshop I'm doing with DD.
I don't hang mine on my front door, but from a hook on the panelling inside my open porch. I use silicon pads on the back to stop scratching

@NaturalBlondeYeahRight - yes ours is very similar. In a new build house. No idea what they were thinking as it really doesn’t suit the house. But yes it will be some nails and lots of greenery. The room itself is really difficult - two doors, the huge fireplace which has a window on each side, French doors into the garden and a built in cupboard and shelves in an odd corner. I didn’t try too hard with it last year but will this year. And next year we will hopefully have sorted the room out properly. Probably blocking off a door. And I’d like a proper mantel over the fireplace to put stuff on.

Trying to get organised for Christmas cooking . Anyone know when Waitrose Christmas slots open ?

Have got the fruit soaking for the Xmas cake - it smells amazing. Can't get mixed peel here so have substituted it with some zest from a lemon and orange. Not sure whether it'll work.

Made a jar of mincemeat with the left over fruit and brandy and have made a batch of smokey tomato chutney to add to Xmas hampers.

Planning on making some gingerbread vodka this afternoon and trying another chilli jam recipe. Feeling very capable and organised!

Where is everyone? Hopefully you’ve all been busy having a wonderfully festive day of poncing.

I came across a Bella Coco video on YouTube for crochet Christmas trees, found some old leftover green wool and thought I’d make a string of them to hang from the mantelpiece.

Sevenswans you and floopsy have had a productive day.

I’ve been lying around feeling sorry for myself after having covid booster and flu jab yesterday. I discovered it’s not easy to sleep with two sore arms

Only minor poncing this week.
I made the marmalade gin to join the kilner jars of blackberry brandy and raspberry gin.
I also have noted the location of some sloes to pick later.
I have fabric ready to make bunting for the sun room and yarn ready to make gnomes based on wine corks ( no shortage of those here)
Oh and stickers ordered to put in home made cards.

@OnTheHillNotOverIt having both together doesn’t sound much fun! DS is currently complaining about the covid jab dead arm after having his second one this morning. I’ve not got my flu jab until November but I always get a bad reaction to it.

@Trumpton I’d love to see the wine cork gnomes.

@SevenSwansASwimming.
This is the Ravelry photo. I think I will add beards and noses so they look more Scandi.

Ummm

Not having any luck here !

Just to join the brining convo late, I did Nigella’s recipe last year and I’m a total convert. If you try with a chicken make sure you properly scale the salt for weight.

We never have turkey at Christmas, no one likes it. Last year was meant to be goose, everything was planned for goose. And when I went to the butcher’s to collect on Christmas Eve (thankfully in the morning) he handed me a turkey 😱. And then showed me the order note where DH had asked for a flippin’ turkey. Who only came up with «Oh I couldn’t remember on the spot and got confused», but hadn’t thought to tell me. So frantic shopping trip and last minute replanning of sides, after me almost crying as everyone hates turkey and my planning was ruined with less than 24 hours to go, until I decided «You know what, I’m going to brine it. We never have turkey so this is my only chance to try, and no one likes it anyway....»

Except everyone loved it and have asked for turkey again this year. (Although one DS referred to it as «Christmas chicken» ).

DH survived Christmas, but only just... he’s going nowhere near the food orders this year. But I will be sending him out in the rain later to get fruit and booze for cake and marmalade gin prep 😂

Limited poncing here this weekend, the weather is warming up so I've been trying to neaten up the garden. Hoping to finish the first barnyard Christmas cross stitch this evening though.
fingon Christmas chicken has made me laugh, every year here its a battle to get a Turkey as theirs only one producer. Several times we have had to have Christmas chicken instead. Much to DPs delight as he isn't a Turkey fan

As always, I'm late to find this thread 🙄 but poncing has begun here.

I've discovered iris folding so will be using that for family cards this year. I'm not sure my test run (pictured) will be given to anyone, it was just to practise the technique really.

& I've been making paper trees and deer from the Hattifant website for the tops of my living room bookshelves (will get some battery tea lights to light them up). I really want to make her Advent calendar too but can't justify a fiver on a download at the mo . I might add some houses too, we'll see!

I've started on gifts too, the crochet spa set will be for one of my best friends. I was tempted to give it to her now but resisted. I may look for something to make for my dad (or not; whatever we give him he usually says thanks & tacks a sarcastic comment on the end).

This weeks plan is to check the pantry for cake ingredients, to make those over half term; and make the gingerbread for our gingerbread house(s). Dd2 has been busy planning how to decorate it & dd1 is looking forward to assembling it since we discovered last year that she's a dab hand with a piping bag!

Anyway, that's where I'm up to...I'm off to read the thread now. Happy poncing all

Hello all,

I'm a lurker and amateur Christmas poncer - I like planning more than executing

I had to pop on and say that entirely due to this thread I have just spent a small fortune on patterns and supplies for a set of felt 12 Days Of Christmas ornaments that I imagine will take me at least a decade to complete. I am very excited.

@thelegohooverer we used this recipe, and the cut out templates, last year & it turned out well (you're probably sorted by now though!). I pre-made the dough around half term, I think. It's the first one we've actually eaten.

Hello, can I join you all?

I am poncing hard for Christmas as PFB due on 1st Dec, so anything not done by then won’t get done! Everything is ready for the baby so I’m now diverting my nesting energies into Christmas so I don’t end up repointing the garden wall or other batshittery.

Fruit has just gone on to soak, I’ve used Lambs Navy rum which tastes like fruit cake to me, so it’ll be a kind of cake-ception

Currently knitting an advent calendar which will be filled with anton berg chocolate liqueurs - pattern was a £2 hobby craft download and I also got a free wreath pattern which will be next. DFIL abroad also wants a tiny knitted schnauzer to match the one I made for the baby so that needed to be posted 2 months ago!

Any recipes for festive, freezable meals and veg sides gratefully received - so far planning braised red cabbage and various pies

@lucysmam
Can you link to recipe please. I have tiny house cutters th o make houses to sit on mug rims and neeeed to use them this year.

@FingonTheValiant you didn't LTB over Turkey gate

Going on an autumnal walk later so might get some inspiration for foliage

@Trumpton that would have helped 🙈 this one

[quote lucysmam]@Trumpton that would have helped 🙈 this one[/quote]
That ginger bread house recipe looks great and I like the look of the cinnamon Christmas cupcakes from the same website

I'm almost through the thread but have questions before I carry on (or I'd forget)...

Any suggestions where to get the Nigel Slater book for less than £17? I love the sound of a read-along but can't justify the money on it atm :(

I'd forgotten about stained glass biscuits, we'll definitely do those again. Fox's glacier fruits worked well the past few times we've done them.

Any chance of a link to the stag place names @NigelSlatersXmasTaters?