Child has high expectations...

[lemonied]

This is absolutely not a boasting thread.

Last year was awful for everyone and we over-did Christmas gifts to try and compensate. We were very fortunate that I didn't lose my job and wanted the children to have a magical day. They did, which was great, but now my daughter expects to have more this year. Whilst I am still employed, finances are tighter this year, and I have quite a smaller budget. I know that I could shop around for good deals, but I have an issue with the 'expectation', which I know is one that I have set. I tried saying to her about how it may not be as much this year, but it'll still be lovely, and she had a meltdown. How can I manage her expectation?

Also, I know that it's August, but she's a little obsessed with Christmas, mentions it at least once a day and always wants to watch Christmas movies/episodes.

How old is she?

Sorry, I should've said, 5.

I think you need to break her obsession with Christmas

At 5 she won’t have any concept of how much things cost. Just do lots of fun, low cost Christmas activities like baking, making decorations etc
What exactly do you think she’s expecting to happen at Christmas?

At 5 she won’t remember the exact presents she got last year, she will remember the magic of it.
Christmas movies with hot chocolate and Marshmallows, advents calendars, decorating the Christmas tree, going to watch the Christmas lights and staying up late. Talking about Santa, making Christmas biscuits etc.
You can make it so magical on a budget…. Take the focus off the presents side of it!

Also don’t break her obsession with Christmas… I’m 34 and I love it!! It’s the best time of the year

@Moonlaserbearwolf in her words, 100 presents

How many presents did she get last year?

She's 5. This is easy
Don't talk about money. She hasn't the same idea about value as you.
Go mad for crafts and fun low cost things. You can get lots of presents without spending a lot of money.

In my experience you can't just do something as a one off with children. Whether it's spend more than normal at Christmas, let them stay up late just this once, have a bigger bar of chocolate or two scoops of ice cream instead of one - it always ends in an expectation. The constant talk of Christmas would drive me insane. I don't really know what to suggest other than try and discourage constant reference to Christmas because it probably isn't helping manage expectation for DD and it will be building the perceived entitlement for you.

You could explain that last year was different because of lockdown but this year Santa can only do a few but don’t worry, it will still be exciting and we’ll join in with all the lovely Christmas celebrations and activities.

At 5, I doubt if she has the concept of what 100 means, it's simply a large number to her .

Nor will she have any idea of costs. Let her know that Christmas will be lovely, and take her to see Father Christmas somewhere.

You could also buy good quality second hand gifts as presents.

I love Christmas. Absolutely love it.

But we never watch Christmas films or listen to Christmas music outside of December. Stop that and she will think of it less.

When she says 100 presents just say but nobody gets 100 presents! And make sure you don't give her 100 presents (that's the most important part if you're to nip this in the bud!)

In my experience you can't just do something as a one off with children

Maybe if they're only toddlers, but older children, in my own experience, are more than capable of understanding why something might be a one-off. Is your child just expecting tons of presents op? I'd nip that in the bud now. See what it is she actually might want for Christmas and manage her expectations about it. No, she can't have a gadzillion toys, explain why in a way she'll understand, no?

@TheTeenageYears I think that you're right!

100 just means "lots" to a 5 year old, it's probably the biggest number she can think of. Anything above 10 will seem like lots, so it's not like she's going to count. Some of my kids favourites have been sub £5, or even pound shop and they've played for hours whilst ignoring the more expensive 'main' gifts.

I don’t think a 5 year old really is likely to be demanding 100 actual packages. She is just excited about the season and the grandeur and the surprises. A movie, a cup of cocoa, a walk to look at decorations, are not free but are certainly cheap. Some of my child’s favorite gifts when young have been the least expensive. Don’t even worry about quantity or cost, just get her something picked out just for her.

She doesn’t understand when you say that money is tighter that the presents will be less generous. She thinks you are trying to take away the magic.

It is August so I wonder why she is even bringing the subject up now. Keep Christmas until December and it is up to you to lower her expectations.

How about saying Santa spoiled people last year because he knew they had had a rubbish time with Covid, but it was a one off.
I wouldn't try to do lots of presents even on cheap because I agree the expectation isn't great.
Would she like doing Christmas things for other people? Like dressing herself and teddies up in a Christmasy scene and making a photo to send to grandparents or something? Pottery painting or baking to give as gifts, making wrapping paper. This obviously depends on you having people who will appreciate such gifts, I know not everyone would.

Also, I saw it on the news that Santa has fewer elves this year, what with Covid.

Don't dismiss the pound shops for that age group. You can start getting bits now as the stock comes in.

@ItsReallyOnlyMe does a 5 year old need 100 pieces of plastic tat?

Santa brings less as you get older, adults don't get anything...

Talk about the "good" behaviour Santa expects. How going on about presents and getting more isn't good behaviour. That it's being kind and appreciating what you do have.

In my experience you can't just do something as a one off with children.

This is SO TRUE, and I wish someone had embroidered it on a muslin for me instead of "You are doing great, mama" etc.

Instead of treasuring it as an exceptional event, they view it as a permanent upgrade, and then are disappointed when it doesn't continue.

@ineedaholidaynow

My post didn't suggest 100 pieces of plastic tat. The pound shops have colouring books, skipping ropes, note pads, crayons, selection boxes etc etc all at low prices etc. The OP was looking for budget ideas - I provided that.