Child has high expectations...

[lemonied]

This is absolutely not a boasting thread.

Last year was awful for everyone and we over-did Christmas gifts to try and compensate. We were very fortunate that I didn't lose my job and wanted the children to have a magical day. They did, which was great, but now my daughter expects to have more this year. Whilst I am still employed, finances are tighter this year, and I have quite a smaller budget. I know that I could shop around for good deals, but I have an issue with the 'expectation', which I know is one that I have set. I tried saying to her about how it may not be as much this year, but it'll still be lovely, and she had a meltdown. How can I manage her expectation?

Also, I know that it's August, but she's a little obsessed with Christmas, mentions it at least once a day and always wants to watch Christmas movies/episodes.

@Scout2016

Also, I saw it on the news that Santa has fewer elves this year, what with Covid.

Lol, the elves died of Covid 🤣

Good luck explaining that to a 5yo

She won't count them but at that age it's about volume definitely. The answer is to shop about, hit the charity shops from now on - nearly new is just fine, and wrap up normal everyday things eg mine always got socks, pants, toothbrush, hair bands etc that they needed anyway. Go to Aldi for some cheap treats eg chocolate money.

DVDs for instance are 49p at the shop I volunteer at, buy 5, wrap separately. Same with cds, we have soft toys at 99p and so on. 30-40 items is doable if creative

She sounds like me as a child (and maybe still...) . I was obsessed with presents at Christmas but it was nothing to do with the value, I just loved opening them and seeing what was inside. I’d suggest wrapping up tiny items like funny socks/tights, sweets, lip balms etc, these were always my favourite presents

It’s totally random what Santa brings here, not dependent on behaviour, just a truly magical act of altruism. Expectations are always low, they can write 3 suggestions on a list “the things I am interested in” (just to help Santa know about their interests) and post it, but only can hope for one of the three (and then surprised with other “filler gifts”).

Also we don’t talk about it until December as “it’s too early to be thinking about that yet” on repeat.

I tried saying to her about how it may not be as much this year, but it'll still be lovely, and she had a meltdown.

She is 5. She doesn't understand 'it might not be much' in the way that you or I do. I'm not surprised she got upset, you basically just told her Christmas would be shit.

All you have to do is guide her. You know what you are getting her so place some of those gifts as her expectations- it's really easy when they are small.

"In my experience you can't just do something as a one off with children.

This is SO TRUE"

It really isn't. People who save to take their children to Lapland, for example, go once. As a one off.

That's an extreme example, we do all sorts of things with the kids but most of the big ticket things we only do once or twice.

I think that as parents we can sometimes get a little obsessed with trying to protect our kids from every disappointment when, in reality, disappointment is a fact of life. Say no to Christmas films every day. Change the subject when she brings it up.

I would go for things in big boxes like this

www.hobbycraft.co.uk/advancedsearchresults.aspx?query=colour+in+cardboard

I'd say no mention of Christmas until after Halloween.

Christ she's 5. Just don't discuss it. Get what's in the budget and don't even mention it being less than last year.

Manage the situation she's 5 not 15 !!!

Please don’t break her Christmas obsession. My DDs have been watching Christmas movies everyday for the last 2 months they are already excited and obsessed with Christmas.

She will have no idea how many presents you get her. Even if she’s saying 100 presents, she’s just 5, children are prone to exaggerate at that age.

A couple of years ago most Christmas presents were 2nd hand from charity shops, ebay & Facebook. Half my lounge was taken up with goodies, my DDs 1, 5 & 7 had no idea it was all 2nd hand and loved it all. Last year there was only half as much stuff but they had no idea as it looked just as good on the day. My middle DD has had 2nd hand charity shop gifts as her main presents for other years too. It wasn’t intentional but we just happened to find exactly what was on her list in charity shops. All she cares about is Santa got her exactly what she wanted.

This year is going to be expensive because the older ones want things I’m not going to be able to get 2nd hand. They also only have 2 things on their lists none are big in size, but that’s fine it will still look magical Christmas morning as I will make it look that way. One of the things I’m considering is a cardboard house from hobby craft, setting it up next to the tree ready for the DCs to start colouring.

There are lots of things you can do in the run up, baking, crafts, elfs. Last year I bought a wooded sleigh from hobby craft my DCs painted and we set it up with reindeer we bought from home bargains. We also made a elf jail for the cheeky elfs out of an old box. Every year we also put a colouring tablecloth on the dining table for the DCs to colour over breakfast and throughout the day,

Kids talk all manner of shit, forget things and re write history. She'll forget. My dc always wrote huge lists, but are warned that santa still has a budget and that they won't get everything on the list. Sometimes they change the list at the 11th hour. But tough. As they got older, we told them that the reason x got more expensive presents is because we give santa the money.

And there is no discussion of Xmas until November.

I’d go for lots of cheap presents - a little bit less than last year, but lots of individually wrapped craft stuff/stuff from Tiger kind of thing, and also get cheap things that look big, eg. inflatable chairs or balls, large card drawing castle type things, cheap outdoor or garden toys. Blow them up/wrap them up with lots of bows.

What about beach balls on strings, or punch balloons?

One thing my parents did one year was a Wendy House tent already erected with bows and balloons all over it so it looked massive. It should be possible to pick up a tent or tepee house cheaply (Argos do cheap ones, can also get one second hand), so you can put it up and decorate it with some cheap fairy lights and so on.

You can also pick up things like wooden dolls’ houses quite cheap secondhand to decorate with lights and balloons - I’m about to try to sell one before Christmas myself! - or things like wooden toy theatres or shops. Aldi did a good puppet theatre a while back for £20 which looked massive on Christmas morning. Add some IKEA puppets and you’re good to go!

At 5 they honestly have no concept of cost - my DD loved a multicolour biro from the Tesco sale best of all her presents at that age! 🤦‍♀️

I suggest you take a reality check and pass this on to her.

Mentioning Christmas on a daily basis in August is not healthy.

Also a good thing with secondhand pressure is that you can put them all out, so no boxes etc. - so they come in to see the wooden railway or dolls’ house or whatever all already set up with some Christmassy bits added 👍

@sadperson16

I suggest you take a reality check and pass this on to her.

Mentioning Christmas on a daily basis in August is not healthy.

For a FIVE year old?

Yeah, OP, make sure you tell her magic doesn’t exist and crush all her dreams while you’re at it, god forbid tiny children should lose sight of cold hard reality eh. 🙄

@irresistibleoverwhelm 5yo do not have to mention Christmas every day in August, especially if it then results in meltdowns

I disagree with the suggestions of buying just as many presents in number but cheaper. Like many others have said, at her age she has no concept of money so will see a big pile again this year. And then will expect the same again next year etc. You won’t be able to make do wrapping up knickers and crayons when she’s twelve.

I think you’ve done the right thing. Just explain again a few times last year was different due to Corona/Father Christmas made more gifts. I’m sure she won’t realise on the day itself she’ll be too excited.

Last year my 5 year old asked for "A giant statue of myself made out of gold"
She was quite happy with her dolls house on the day.

I doubt she'll count them. In box things and wrap them separately. Just spend what you'd planned

Tell her the truth, well a version of it. Last year because of Covid Santa brought more presents to cheer everyone but because of the virus, this was lots of hard work and money for Santa and he can’t do it this year so it will be back to a normal year. Santa has to deliver presents to all the children around the world and he can’t fit 100 presents in his sleigh for every child so he will only be able t bring x number of presents.

My dd is 6 and loves Christmas. What is wrong with that? She finds it a magical time and tbh it has little to do with presents and more to do with the excitement, magic etc. 5 year olds are prone to exaggeration, I would just not mention it too much tbh. Don't tell her that it's not gonna be the same as last year but also don't tell her it is going to be special etc. Do Xmas crafts, baking etc I imagine on the day she won't be in anyway disappointed.
Speaking as a Xmas obsessed 31 year old she will be fine. When I was 7 I got a barbie house thought it was the best present ever, thought I was well and truly spoiled. Found out last year it was 2nd hand from a car boot.

Can you get it into your heads,there will be no more Christmas for any of us if you persist with your greed and tat fest?
Why are children watching Christmas films in August?
It is a MH issue.
Each day is just that ,a day.A fresh start,an adventure.Not a countdown to obscene waste and greed.

Shut that shiz down, you’ve let things get outta hand.

Or, since she’s so big on Christmas, maybe introduce the slew of activities she can put effort into for other people? Making presents and food, helping neighbours, cheering up others in her community. Also introduce her to the idea of earning money herself in order to buy ‘100 presents’ for other people in the family? Guaranteed she’ll find something else to become obsessed with, and hopefully Christmas can take its rightful place in her mind.

This precedent is just encouraging entitlement and bratishness, and making a rod for your back. None of that says ‘the magic of Christmas’ to me.

Due to Corona, Father Christmas made more gifts......WTAF