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Christmas

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Original poster

Child has high expectations...

129 replies

lemonied · 14/08/2021 09:28

This is absolutely not a boasting thread.

Last year was awful for everyone and we over-did Christmas gifts to try and compensate. We were very fortunate that I didn't lose my job and wanted the children to have a magical day. They did, which was great, but now my daughter expects to have more this year. Whilst I am still employed, finances are tighter this year, and I have quite a smaller budget. I know that I could shop around for good deals, but I have an issue with the 'expectation', which I know is one that I have set. I tried saying to her about how it may not be as much this year, but it'll still be lovely, and she had a meltdown. How can I manage her expectation?

Also, I know that it's August, but she's a little obsessed with Christmas, mentions it at least once a day and always wants to watch Christmas movies/episodes.

OP posts:
Hercisback · 14/08/2021 17:01

Now is the perfect time to scale it down.

She's 5.

I had a similar conversation with friends who went all out last year and now need to scale it back. They are going to do a stocking from Santa including stuff they'd have to buy anyway like pants, socks, toothbrushes etc plus some fun stuff. Then a main present and that's it. If your 5yo says anything on the day then challenge it. Don't mention it in the build up.

ineedaholidaynow · 14/08/2021 17:02

I was thinking more about the environment too @mam0918.

I know kids love tat. DS treasured possessions were mainly the tat you get from magazines, but encouraging someone to buy 100 things from Poundland is really not the way we should be going.

Hercisback · 14/08/2021 17:02

but its magical for them so who cares

The environment.

irresistibleoverwhelm · 14/08/2021 17:07

There are always loads of free Christmas activities too - at 5 she’s probably at school and hopefully this year they’ll all be able to have the usual nativity plays, Christmas parties and so on. But there are also loads of things that kids that age love - Christingle services, trips to see the Christmas lights and hot chocolate, Santa store visits, garden centres, etc.

It may be that because of Covid last year was all about presents, but this year hopefully events and activities can become the thing.

Some of my favourite activities with little kids — making a pre-cut gingerbread house, making tree ornaments out of pine cones from the park decorated with some pva glue rolled in glitter/paint (get a glue gun to stick on string handles); using old Christmas cards and some pinking shears, a hole punch and ribbon to cut out and make tags for presents; making paper angels; stamping brown paper with Christmassy designs; baking biscuits with icing-sugar “snow” on the top. So many nice things to do with small kids without spending loads of money! ❤️

Wintercoffee · 15/08/2021 14:09

It’s a difficult one as it’s probably a mix of excitement and children really don’t have a concept of money etc. Christmas is just so exciting for them!

Maybe having an honest conversation with her and even chat about children who don’t get to have Christmas? Maybe you can focus her attention on making a couple of Christmas box donations to a local charity for children who need it? I know in my local authority there are multiple charities that do this. Get her to brainstorm lovely small gifts for other children, things they’ll need and appreciate. That might give her some perspective and appreciation for the things she does get.

FreeBritnee · 15/08/2021 17:07

I bulk out new stuff with second hand stuff. That might be worth doing to create volume and variety. Facebook marketplace is excellent for this.

mam0918 · 15/08/2021 17:10

Its only damaging to the enviroment if your snobbish enough to throw it away.

Just because stuff is from Poundland or Primark doesnt make them bad, just because something is plastic doesnt make it bad... whats bad is the people who throw out these things because they think they are better than keeping them.

My young DS spent yesterday exstatic that he found a bag of older DS old tat (old kinder egg toys, minions stuff, plastic toy cars, keyring from penny machines on holiday, om nom figurines... if you even remember om nom, this stuffs that old lol) in the back of the cupboard, they have a whole new life now and the enviroment hasnt suffered one bit for it.

Rainallnight · 15/08/2021 17:14

@unlimiteddilutingjuice I am hooting at giant statue of myself made of gold Grin

OP, there’s a similar thread about someone wanting to tone down Christmas. I’ll hunt for it.

Smartiepants79 · 15/08/2021 17:32

There is a balance between destroying the magic and a daily Xmas obsession in august.
I want my children to love and enjoy the magic of Christmas but I’m not getting involved in a conversation about it in the middle of the summer holidays!
I can think of at least 10 exciting things that they can be looking forward to before Xmas even comes close.
I do think it would be better to try and distract her from worrying about this for now.
There are so many other nice things she could be enjoying.

ineedaholidaynow · 15/08/2021 19:05

@mam0918 everything uses resources, if you buy 100 items, then that is using up resources, most of which probably have travelled many miles to get to this country

irresistibleoverwhelm · 15/08/2021 20:27

Apparently the pandemic, labour shortages and huge increases in the price of shipping mean we could have a Christmas where not so many toys are available - especially plastic-based toys from Asia! So an enforced bit of cutting back may be on the cards anyway (and better for the planet…)

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 15/08/2021 21:13

Rainallnight She's always been a little "extra"

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/08/2021 22:33

Santa doesn’t like greedy children. If she asks for too much he might not bring her anything.

Last year maybe he brought a bit extra because of Covid, but he won’t be doing that this year.

HungryHippo11 · 15/08/2021 22:42

@irresistibleoverwhelm

Apparently the pandemic, labour shortages and huge increases in the price of shipping mean we could have a Christmas where not so many toys are available - especially plastic-based toys from Asia! So an enforced bit of cutting back may be on the cards anyway (and better for the planet…)
Fewer plastic toys from Asia would definitely be a good thing. But don't go spreading this rumours too much or we will end up with panic buying of Christmas gifts in August Angry
nicecheesegromit · 15/08/2021 22:42

FFS it's August. Tell her to calm down as Santa is on holiday

HungryHippo11 · 15/08/2021 22:45

@mam0918

Its only damaging to the enviroment if your snobbish enough to throw it away.

Just because stuff is from Poundland or Primark doesnt make them bad, just because something is plastic doesnt make it bad... whats bad is the people who throw out these things because they think they are better than keeping them.

My young DS spent yesterday exstatic that he found a bag of older DS old tat (old kinder egg toys, minions stuff, plastic toy cars, keyring from penny machines on holiday, om nom figurines... if you even remember om nom, this stuffs that old lol) in the back of the cupboard, they have a whole new life now and the enviroment hasnt suffered one bit for it.

The problem with a lot of "poundland tat" and similar is that it breaks easily or parts go missing. People don't make effort to mend or find the pieces, they just bin it and buy something else. If I lost part of a £50 toy I would look for it or fix it. Lost a part of a 50p toy, bin and replace.
irresistibleoverwhelm · 15/08/2021 23:05

F ewer plastic toys from Asia would definitely be a good thing. But don't go spreading this rumours too much or we will end up with panic buying of Christmas gifts in August

Such a thing would NEVER be heard of on the MN Christmas board Grin

sadperson16 · 16/08/2021 11:16

Why do otherwise sane people go nuts over 24 hours in December? Why?

SemiFeralDalek · 16/08/2021 11:56

Ds will be just turned 5 this year. I'm planning on scaling back. We'd had an appalling few weeks just prior to Christmas last year and probably went over the top.

He doesn't care. He can't remember the massive pile of presents he got last year, all he remembers is that santa brought his bike (pride and joy) and we went for a bike ride with his walkie talkie Grin

We do Christmas films in August though, and Halloween films in April) ds would have the halloween decorations up year round!)

We do a santa list with 3 suggestions from the argos catalogue or whatever, somewhat guided last year (ones which I'd already checked were in stock and available!).

We choose, buy and collect toys for other children which santa comes to collect from church. Mummy sends some money to Santa and Santa delivers the presents, and not all mummies have a lot of money so we should share what we have. He knows some children have less and that we are very lucky to have what we have.

Bluntness100 · 16/08/2021 11:58

Can she even count to a hundred? Does she believe in Santa? I think you’re being a bit harsh on her as she’s only five she doesn’t know what stuff costs, she’s just existed, although I’ve no idea why Xmas is being discussed in aug with a five year old.

DelphiniumBlue · 16/08/2021 12:07

You've had some great suggestions here.
So manage expectations by explaining that Christmas is not all about presents, tell her that of course she'll have some lovely presents but obviously not a hundred, n-one gets that, it's greedy and not eco-friendly ( which she will have touched on at school). Then get youself to some car boot sales where you can pick up brilliant bargains. Sort out some fun activities for the build-up and make sure presents include necessaries for the forthcoming year - books/pencils/hairclips etc.

1940s · 16/08/2021 12:08

Charity shops! Start looking now,
Lots of people having a summer clear out. You will be able to find books / big garish doll houses / Barbie sets / DVDs / teddy's / Lego sets / puzzle sets / craft kits

Regardless of her expectations, it's easy to provide a 'wow' Christmas on a low cost / reusing plastic / reducing landfill etc especially when she's only 5.

milveycrohn · 16/08/2021 12:15

@Sunshinedaisymeadowsxx Just as you said, and you have lots of ideas
Find low cost stuff to do in the build up to Xmas. Looking at Xmas lights should be fun. In our area last year, the council encouraged houses to put up lots of lights (which I hope many do again).
If church services are allowed, then a carol service;
Making decorations. (I found some twigs from our local park, to make a 'wall' xmas tree, and decorated - great fun)
Christmas Baking, always a good idea.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 16/08/2021 12:22

Crazy at 5yo all you have to do is say 'we don't talk about Christmas until December' every single time she brings it up.

As other people have said Christmas can be magical on a tight budget, Christmas carols, making decorations and cards, hot chocolate and a Christmas movie etc. However if you're talking about this all year round it will definitely lose its magic.

Incywinceyspider · 16/08/2021 12:30

In your house, does Santa bring all the presents or are some off you?

At 5, children care about the amount there is to open. They just do. I can remember my aunt bringing an enormous sack of what seemed like millions of presents and I loved it. Know what those millions of presents were? Individually wrapped pairs of pants and tiny cans of coke mostly. So my advice is wrap up lots of essentials with a few well chosen toys and she'll be delighted.

Sacks are also good rather than "piles" as less inclination to compare sizes/count presents.