Christmas hanging in tatters by 8.45am

[AmandaHoldensLips]

I have inexplicably woken up with a catastrophic hangover to be told by 'D'H that he's broken the lock on the back door and it now won't open. So we cannot get outside. We have just moved and have no oven or hob, just a single ring camping stove, which of course it outside.

I feel hideous and he's looking at me like I have all the solutions. If I could get outside I would definitely make a start on building a patio.

Climb out of the window? My DH would just force the lock...

Looks like he's climbing out the window.

I have an estate car, a massive roll of thick plastic and a wood chipper. Just saying.

@ChampagneCommunist

Looks like he's climbing out the window.

I have an estate car, a massive roll of thick plastic and a wood chipper. Just saying.

@ChampagneCommunist - in the words of David Cassidy, I think I love you.

Jeez. I feel really REALLY ill. DH is making very loud phone calls to family (he's a bit deaf although he denies this). We have a zoom call to the adult kids shortly and I look like dracula.

Oh god doesn't sound good! Is there another way round the back or through a window? Try to drink lots of water and have some paracetamol and eat something too if you can manage it. Hope you start to feel better.

Do you have a front garden and front door? Not very private but maybe sociable?

Drink a large glass of liver salts and 2 paracetamol and go back to bed for 3 hours.

You’re going to hate me but why is it his fault of the lock broke?

Also not sure how a hangover is “inexplicable”.

Go back to bed.

This has really made me laugh. I'm meant to be opening presents with the kids but instead I'm chortling at this.

Happy Christmas OP. The only solution is to eat quality street and twiglets all day.

Locksmiths will be working but it might cost £££

If the key's broken in the lock try supergluing the two
prices together. Then leave for 30mins to harden.

Failing that I'd go back to bed and tell DH to wake you when dinner's
ready.

Go out the front door and climb over the back fence to get the camping stove

Get off of mumsnet and onto your local Facebook group. I’m on several and they’re bulging with people who’ve now got too much food offering hot dinners. Explain your situation as humorously as possible, give everyone a laugh, someone will help (maybe even change lock) , you may make a new friend and you can pay it forward later.

Good luck.

Any alcohol left?

Not sure why to say but how embarrassing for you both

Get a takeaway!!

@lyinginthegutterstaringatstars

Not sure why to say but how embarrassing for you both

Just a mishap surely?

Loads of booze left, thank god. It's going to be M&S bangers and mash microwave meal. I might even go mad and open a tin of baked beans.

I need that psychopath weapon thing out of 'No Place For Old Men' that blasts locks out of doors.

DH is looking sheepish. He's done the classic bloke-forcing-something-until-it-breaks move.

Also not sure how a hangover is “inexplicable”

Maybe she thought the wine was grape juice?

Don't you have a front door?

A sugary black coffee and a double whisky will soon sort you out.

Then you can give DH his instructions for putting together a picnic meal from the contents of the fridge.
Stay cheerful, enjoy your day! 🍸 🍸 🍸 🍸

🥳 🥳 🥳

Make yourself a glass of bucks fizz and relax

Our boilers broken. No heating or hot water. Happy Christmas!

Is there a front door? And why do you need to get outside? Is it urgent?

Just have a hair o the dug. It will make you feel better.