Christmas hanging in tatters by 8.45am

[AmandaHoldensLips]

I have inexplicably woken up with a catastrophic hangover to be told by 'D'H that he's broken the lock on the back door and it now won't open. So we cannot get outside. We have just moved and have no oven or hob, just a single ring camping stove, which of course it outside.

I feel hideous and he's looking at me like I have all the solutions. If I could get outside I would definitely make a start on building a patio.

Poor you OP. Do you have any vodka and tomato juice in the house? I feel a Bloody Mary is needed.

OMG you should have bought a microwave and a couple of ready meals seriously!!!

Hair of the dog and a takeaway ....

@xyzandabc

Is there a front door? And why do you need to get outside? Is it urgent?

They need to get outside because that's where the only means of cooking is... Although it sounds like there might be a microwave inside.

OP, tell him it's a a Taskmaster challenge to either get outside without busting the door, of lasso the outside hob and get it inside

Dh did that once. Key got stuck in the lock, and he couldn't turn it. So he got a pair of pliers to try and force it. I said it would just break off in the lock.
Five minutes later guess what had happened. 🤣

Tbf the lock in the door had gone so it was going to have to be replaced anyway, but the lovely people who fitted the door (about 10 years previously, so not under guarantee) answered a plea and said they happened to have an engineer just down the road. He was round within a couple of hours and fitted a new one.

What sort of Christmas dinner were you going to conjure up on a camping stove outside? Think I'd rather stay in bed with a bottle or three and all the Pringles I could eat.

There really are a lot of meals you can cook in a microwave .
Maybe YouTube too see what you can make?

We had this last night. Open door from outside, put key through letterbox window to someone. Then oil lock bolt with WD40. Good temporary solution.
Veg oil in emergency, let it be absorbed for a bit.

You only have one door? I’m in US, I’d call the fire department.

I think I'd just postpone Christmas for one day.

Order a takeaway and deal with it all tomorrow.

Also not sure how a hangover is “inexplicable

Just me that totally gets this? A random stinking hangover from a decidedly normal amount of alcohol that would never normally cause even the slightest ill feeling. Always at the most inconvenient times.

@AcornAutumn

You’re going to hate me but why is it his fault of the lock broke?

Also not sure how a hangover is “inexplicable”.

Go back to bed.

All hangovers are inexplicable...no idea how they happened, nothing I ever did caused them. It's a mystery 🤷‍♀️

Go back to bed for the day @AmandaHoldensLips, only place to be I reckon! Pretend today isn't 25th December!

Why wasn't the camping stove already cleaned and ready indoors? Or were you going to be brave and cook outdoors?You know what will happen - after hours of effort you will finally get to the stove and find there's no gas and the outlets have frozen!

can’t you jump out a downstairs window and grab it?

@midnightstar66

Order a takeaway and deal with it all tomorrow.

Also not sure how a hangover is “inexplicable

Just me that totally gets this? A random stinking hangover from a decidedly normal amount of alcohol that would never normally cause even the slightest ill feeling. Always at the most inconvenient times.

I never get this ...

When I drink a ton I get a hangover but otherwise not on a small amount. I can drink about a bottle of wine and still feel fine the next day.

No Country for old Men....I know the blaster thing you mean

@Charlie63849 Unfortunately you have now tempted fate and will probably wake tomorrow with just such a hangover!

Although I also suspect in my case it might be part of a little researched condition known as "getting old"

I saw a tip where you can melt the end of a glue stick (such as one used in a glue gun) and press it onto the broken bit of key. Once its hardened you can pull the broken key out.
DISCLAIMER: I saw this on one of those Troom facebook video things. So probably not reliable advice (unlike their idea for cutting random holes in a pair of trousers to turn it into a dress which has made me look SUPER stylish.)

Currently having a massive cheese-fest. There are crisps, many cheeses, a random rhubarb relish thing that might be off, and a weapons-grade bloody mary.

I think the hangover is not a hangover. It's food poisoning from the olives in the martinis.

Zoom call with the adult kids went quite well, I reckon. I blamed my appearance on a dodgy connection.

We cannot have baked beans with the M&S microwave sausage and mash. I can't find the tin opener.

Thank god for screw-cap wine.

One Boxing Day evening we had some friends round and a couple of them had been smoking outside in the back garden. It started snowing heavily so they came back in and one of them went to shut the patio door.

It was one of the 'tilt and slide' ones, so you had to pull it to, then push the bottom in with your foot so it clicked into place before you tried to use the handle to close it up.

Our friend didn't know this. The darned thing jammed solid and was stuck open about an inch. With a blizzard outside.

We have just moved and have no oven or hob, just a single ring camping stove, which of course it outside.

Do you put the camping stove back outside every day? I assume you didn’t just move yesterday?