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Christmas

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Original poster

Spending Christmas at home with young children...

90 replies

FollowThatStarTonight · 14/12/2020 14:10

The way things are working out this year with families, bubbles etc we're just going to be at home ourselves with 2 little ones (aged 2 and 4).

I know we're lucky and I should be looking forward to it and whatnot but I'm so used to big family gatherings, having loads of adults around to help with the kids, getting a chance to cook for hours sipping fizz while grandparents play with the wee ones etc... I'm just not sure what to expect just the four of us.

The kids are at really difficult stages just now and need quite full-on parenting. We try to keep ourselves as busy as possible with nursery, classes etc as days in the house can feel very long and end up with everyone feeling a bit stressed.

I'm probably worrying over nothing and like I say I know how lucky we are. I just can't help wondering if Christmas day might not be very enjoyable and the thought of 2.5 weeks of no nursery etc fills me with dread! Anyone else with little ones in the same boat?

Sorry, I'll go off and get a grip now...

OP posts:
duploo · 14/12/2020 14:14

I have a 2.5 year old and 5 month old, and feel a bit of apprehension too. We plan to slow release the Christmas presents, and continue to follow our usual weekend routine - so trip out in the morning, lunch, nap, afternoon indoors activity, dinner, tv, bath, bed. A routine helps everyone know what's going on and feel calmer here. Praying for dry days!

pinkdragons · 14/12/2020 14:16

Yes. I'm not looking forward to the 2.5w xmas period with everyone on top of each other in the house every day. We made it through the first lockdown but it was really hard.

We will not spend the whole day at home on xmas day, with two young kids I have to get out otherwise the house gets trashed and DC(6) behaviour goes downhill. We will go for a walk and then possibly a drive to see Christmas lights. Not what we'd usually do but everything is different this year.

MistletoeandGin · 14/12/2020 14:19

Similar boat, mine are 7, 5 and nearly 2.
To be honest I’m that stressed in general about work/being in tier 3/life in general that I’ve not even thought about how we’ll spend Christmas/the holidays yet. I guess the same way we’ve spent most of the past 10 months... doing crafts and going for walks in the cold/rain.

Skylucy · 14/12/2020 14:21

We'll be at home with our 2yo and 3yo. We have a tiny family anyway so have never had any help, and we don't use childcare, so they're at home with me all the time anyway! I'm envious of your "normal" Christmases!! I agree that spreading presents out is the best approach - literally over a few days. And we'll keep to our usual routine and timings as best we can, and keep the children's sugar intake to the absolute bare minimum - the kids go insane on more than a few chocolate buttons!! We'll definitely go outside too - we have a dog, so can't avoid it! I hope it goes well for you.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 14/12/2020 14:25

I'm just not sure what to expect just the four of us.

Well, probably like any other day just the four of you Confused. Have you never spent a day in the house together?

How can you be worried about the thought of having to look after your own children for one day without outside help?

Original poster
FollowThatStarTonight · 14/12/2020 14:27

Thanks for all the replies they've made me feel a lot better!

Spreading out presents is a great idea, I just to think about how to phrase that for the 4 year old. Possibly 'red paper unwrapped just now, blue paper is for after lunch' or something. He needs a 'rule' to follow otherwise he struggles to understand why things are happening. And I think whatever the weather, one parent will get wrapped up and go for a walk with them while the other finishes dinner prep.

We both come from large families and are used to huge Christmases with 15-20 round the table, the children all entertaining one another all day and a real feeling of festivity so it will be quite different.

Hope everyone has a merry Christmas Smile

OP posts:
snookercue · 14/12/2020 14:27

I'm just not sure what to expect just the four of us.

Do you really never spend any time at home together?

MistletoeandGin · 14/12/2020 14:30

Your normal Christmas’ sound wonderful OP, I have to admit to being envious! My only sibling died, my parents are divorced and can’t be in the same room together and my in laws live abroad so Christmas is always just us and my mum anyway, so very little difference this year,

FestiveChristmasLights · 14/12/2020 14:33

We’ll be home with a 5, 4 and almost 2 year old. We’re looking forward to it being much more relaxed and no pressure compared to previous years.

SingingSands · 14/12/2020 14:33

From experience I'd say: just lower your expectations. Aim for some outdoor time once a day. Plenty of tv (it won't kill them). Let them make some decisions some days - it might end up being a whole day of wearing pjs and playing with Playdoh but if they're happy then you will be too. Do something you wouldn't usually do - a late (to them!) walk in the dark to look at Christmas lights used to thrill mine, and the fresh air before bed would knock them out! Build a "Christmas Den" that they can play in over the holiday.

We've had a lot of Christmases on our own as we are hundreds of miles from both families, we've survived and you will too! Honestly, I just massively dropped all my expectations and let the kids mooch around without much planning and it would go fine.

Have a lovely Christmas!

Original poster
FollowThatStarTonight · 14/12/2020 14:33

Have you never spent a day in the house together?

Yes. That's why I started the thread. A day at home together (in the middle of nearly 3 weeks at home together) with 2 very small children can be a bit stressful.

Also this isn't just a random day looking after the children, it's Christmas day and it's totally different from any previous Christmases we've ever had, but I still want it to be really enjoyable for everyone, hence the slight apprehension.

OP posts:
SadlyMe · 14/12/2020 14:35

Be grateful you can be with your children. A lot of us with adult children won't have the big family get together either, and will only see our children on a bloody screen. So be bloody grateful you will be able to give your kids a hug on Christmas Day, I'd give anything to be able to hug mine!

Lindy2 · 14/12/2020 14:35

I'd schedule in a long walk after lunch so that the kids get some fresh air and burn off some of their excitement.

I'm going to miss my wider family and I usually enjoy hosting a big lunch, but I have to say I'm really looking forward to a much more chilled day with just the 4 of us this year.

It's been a very very hard year (as it has been for many people) and I just want my household, safe around me without school or work pressure for a while

SingingSands · 14/12/2020 14:37

@SadlyMe
I'm sure the OP is grateful Hmm

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 14/12/2020 14:40

They are 2 and 4. Thats not really "very small children". Sorry but I think you need to take your own advice and get a grip.

I know kids are hard work, believe me I look after them for a living, but to be worried about having to look after your own children for a couple of weeks, while BOTH parents are at home, with no outside help or nursery is ridiculous.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 14/12/2020 14:44

Same boat here. Christmas usually means three generations and lots of relatives and friends in and out of my parents house in Dublin.

This year we'll be in London and I'm afraid it just won't feel like Christmas, and I'm not excited about school holidays in tier 3. Most of the stuff I had planned to do instead of Ireland won't happen now (Santa, theatre, funfair).

It's only this year though, and the children won't care as long as they get plenty of presents, chocolate and endless, endless time and attention from their parents. That last bit will be quite wearing for said parents.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 14/12/2020 14:46

They are 2 and 4. Thats not really "very small children"

Eh? You can't get much smaller without turning into a baby!

PlentyofButter · 14/12/2020 14:49

Some downright nasty replies on here, have people so little empathy?! OP I completely see where you are coming from . I think a very loose sort of timetable might be your best bet, so early morning walk or scoot out, breakfast. There might be a live or online nativity service in a church happening you could watch? Perhaps try and stagger present opening throughout the day. Christmas can be a difficult day for many and so many parents of young children i know are completely drained this year. Go easy on yourself

inappropriateraspberry · 14/12/2020 14:52

We have a 2 and a 5 year old. It'll be fine. They'll be busy playing with new toys, and BBC are running all the Julia Donaldson adaptations all day!
It's not really much different to a Sunday at home, cook a roast and spend the day together - just with presents!

dottiedodah · 14/12/2020 15:12

I like the sound of your "Normal Christmases!" However sometimes the more cosy small family ones can be fun too .As you say spread out pressies through the day if you can .Maybe their Stockings when they wake up .Some Breakfast, and Christmas TV .Once Dinner is under way a short walk ,or play in the Garden .After Lunch a round of presents and play time .Coffee/Mince pies and Crackers! Another stroll about 4pm then Teatime! Happy Christmas!

LH1987 · 14/12/2020 15:14

Can totally empathise, this Christmas will be just SO different. I have a 6 month old and it will be just the three of us this year. Which I know is no way near as stressful as two toddlers!

I think some of the replies on here are really horrid, OP didn’t say she had it worse than others or even that her situation was bad just that she was a bit upset she wouldn’t have her normal Christmas. I think it’s very sad and pathetic that people get pleasure by taking anonymous swipes at people on line.

OP, if you really love the cooking aspect of Christmas could you DH take them for a massive walk while you cook? Also definitely abandon any rules around screen time and enjoy ALOTof Christmas movies 😀

Original poster
FollowThatStarTonight · 14/12/2020 15:18

Thanks everyone. TheYearOfSmallThings swap Dublin for a different city and it sounds very similar.

I have never thought much about our 'big' Christmases as it's always been that way for us, I've probably taken them for granted.

And fingers crossed there will be in a grip in my stocking Wink

Happy Christmas when it comes Wine

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 14/12/2020 15:21

I’m feeling a bit apprehensive about 2 weeks of no nursery and potentially rubbish weather and limited opportunities for indoor activities other than at home particularly when normally I’d be looking forward to seeing lots of family at this time .
I’m going to plan the days a bit even if the activity for that day is making home made thank you cards then at least it’s something to focus on that day plus national trust places of country parks to get some energy run off.

WishingHopingThinkingPraying · 14/12/2020 15:23

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion but do you have your own children aged 2 and 4? Because if not, you're going to be chilling with a drink, deciding what crap to watch on TV while browsing the fridge at leisure after a good night's sleep.
While op cleans up shit, runs around trying to stop stuff getting damaged or toys getting broken all over the place while soothing a roaring toddler who has spit his food everywhere and knocked over her glass of wine in the process after a night of shitty sleep. Or something like that.

Working with kids is nothing like parenting. It's hard of course but NOT in the slightest bit the same.

TheCrow · 14/12/2020 15:24

Ask your 4 year old what they'd like to do, I think sometimes parents think of all these ideas then try to force their kids into them even though they're not interested. If they say they want to watch TV or do something not christmassy then that's ok. Or if you want some sort of plan in place then run it past them in advance, my DD hates having stuff sprung on her. It depends if your kids prefer routine or to be a bit more relaxed. Also talk to your partner in advance too and make a rough plan, one of you watches the kids while the other gets dinner sorted etc or agree that you're each allowed a couple of time outs where you can go and sit in a quiet room for 10 mins and have a breather.