Spending Christmas at home with young children...

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The way things are working out this year with families, bubbles etc we're just going to be at home ourselves with 2 little ones (aged 2 and 4).

I know we're lucky and I should be looking forward to it and whatnot but I'm so used to big family gatherings, having loads of adults around to help with the kids, getting a chance to cook for hours sipping fizz while grandparents play with the wee ones etc... I'm just not sure what to expect just the four of us.

The kids are at really difficult stages just now and need quite full-on parenting. We try to keep ourselves as busy as possible with nursery, classes etc as days in the house can feel very long and end up with everyone feeling a bit stressed.

I'm probably worrying over nothing and like I say I know how lucky we are. I just can't help wondering if Christmas day might not be very enjoyable and the thought of 2.5 weeks of no nursery etc fills me with dread! Anyone else with little ones in the same boat?

Sorry, I'll go off and get a grip now...

Can you just not show the second round of presents until you’re ready to give them? I know my 2 (similar ages to yours) will just be too excited then go on or cry about the other presents which would make it extra painful!

Bbc1 has a good listing of stories on Christmas, starting with the gruffalo at 8:55 am (suggest first glass of champagne consumed here).

Get some food prep done over Xmas eve so it’s not so full on.

When everyone is just starting to lose their marbles, cold walk outside. Probably about 11am for us.

Back for more fizz, cooking, presents round 2?

We tend to eat late afternoon, so once that’s done kids are exhausted and more fizz can be consumed

It really depends what work for you, but this would be the day I choose to let routine slide so it feels different.

I tend to do a few small tidy ups throughout the day so it’s not an awful mess once the kids go to bed.

Sometimes it feels like people on here try to make it a competition to see who has it worse. Just because some people might be in a worse situation than the OP, it doesn't make her feelings any less valid.

Keep it simple and lower expectations 😀
Mine are adults now but it was always just the 4 of us. We'd always go for a walk both Xmas Eve and Xmas Day morning.
Never did an unwrapping frenzy....except stockings. I also never spent hours in the kitchen.
Its a lovely time with just the children....no over excitement and tears before bedtime. You will still enjoy plenty of fizz!

We do this most years. Our day...
7-8am.. wake up and pile into our bed. One adult pops downstairs quickly to make tea. Then we open stockings in bed.
Breakfast and dressed.
10amish.. first present session, followed by playing with toys etc.
1pmish... Light the BBQ and firepit. Outdoors time if it isn't raining.
Eat BBQ around 2pm
Late afternoon... Christmas film
6pm... Christmas pudding and custard.

We dropped traditional Christmas dinner years ago as we preferred playing with DDs. We've done different meals over the years. But it's quick and socialable, not one adult cooking for hours.

Basically, we just go with the flow. I sort of like it just being the four of us so we have no one else to please.

@WishingHopingThinkingPraying I do have my own 2 children, currently 34 weeks pregnant with a third, still working full time, looking after 3 kids under 3 most, along with my own when they come home from school, and a partner who works most weekends and holidays. That's irrelevant, its still a bit ridiculous to be worrying about spending 2 weeks with your own children, with your partner at home

I have a nearly 1 1/2 year old and a 4 year old. I’m a sahm but we normally don’t have any help with childcare. My DH is ECV so no bubbling and not indoor events for us anyway. I’m looking forward to DH being off to help.

I think the run up the 25th will be the most difficult. I’m hoping for good weather so we can go to the park, beach, feed the ducks on repeat. We do take the kids swimming as our one expecting to indoor places so hopefully DH can take some time off so we can do that. The youngest naps after lunch so I will do baking, gingerbread house and more complicated crafts with the 4 year old then. Then in the afternoons we will paint, salt dough decorations, play dough, sing Christmas song and watch a bit of TV.

Christmas Day I think we are going party food and DD1 wants pasta for lunch. We will do Christmas dinner on Boxing Day so I can spend Christmas Day playing. I think after Christmas it will be easier because they will have their new toys.

I have a list of fun activities to do in the run up to Christmas which I will post later.

We always spend Christmas at home alone and we love it. Both my dc’s have autism so they struggle with big get togethers so this is the norm for us (me and 2dd’s). We spread present opening out over the day so there’s always something to look at, something to do in between eating. If the weathers ok we go for a walk after lunch. The day usually goes quite quickly and no one really gets bored. It’s pretty relaxed and stress free.

• exception not expecting!

Just lower your expectations,chill and go with the flow.

Open some presents, play with them , do a game of tidying up wrappers, set up some games they can play with, watch a Christmas movie, allow them quiet time on their own, take turns to watch them/play with them. Open some more presents while one of you starts on dinner. Nip back in so they can show them to you.Prep what you can for dinner the day before and consider how much of a dinner you want it to be.

We have always had Christmas as just us since the DCs were born. We have Christmas Dinner on Christmas eve and then the whole of Christmas day to just play!

It might be worth doing food a bit differently - my guess is that your 2 and 4 year old aren't desperate for a traditional Christmas dinner anyway, so making it simpler/doing something altogether different could make the day more enjoyable for everyone.

We’ve always had hair ‘us’ on Christmas Day.

Kids get full attention when opening presents and setting up toys. Then breakfast if they haven’t scoffed too much chocolate.
We’ve always had board games as presents they can all join in whilst we put the dinner on or Christmas TV.

Usually grumpy before lunch so they are whipped out on a dog walk.

Bed time can be stressful but stick to a bath and story.

Then your Christmas begins!!

Lots of snacks and drinks in front of TV crap

We’ve often had Christmas just our nuclear family, covering those age ranges. My “biggest” Christmas has been seven of us - so it’s from a different perspective.

lower your expectations, and change them. You don’t need to do roast turkey and all the trimmings (but if that’s what you’d like, that’s fine). Try and get out everyday (as long as no one is isolating). Christmas afternoon in our local park is actually quite nice :) alternate lie ins and try and dial down the “jobs” (even if it’s a sunny blowy day I’ll try and not do a load of washing on Christmas Day).

I only have one child, but for me I prefer a small cosy Christmas to one with lots of people. As a pp said lower your expectations, don't over plan.

We always have Christmas just us and DM. In-laws pop over for a coffee so this year will be no different. We start with stockings then breakfast and basically everything just happens, there's no plan, just do what we feel we want to. If the weathers fine we might take a walk, if it's lousy we watch tv or play a board game all together. We are often still opening presents in the late afternoon.

The best bit for me about Christmas is not having to have a plan, to just chill and go with the flow.

Maybe you could mark it out as different from other days (apart from the presents) by doing something new. We are going to sing some carols and the children will have simple instruments (bells, home made shaker or drum). When we were a bit older, my mum and dad encouraged us to do a short Christmas play (parts from A Christmas Carol or the Nativity). We used to love the dressing up and excitement of performance. It doesn't have to be grand or expensive but it is nice to make your own traditions.

I have a 2 year old and a 5 week old. Honestly, Christmas will be a normal day for us with some presents. We wont even watch a movie because DD is obsessed with the wiggles and just cried whenever anything else comes on. We will eat some chocolate, maybe have a drink in the evening when DD1 goes to bed, but we are still on night feeds so we wont be drinking much. When you have 2 kids and have christmas at home you have to just have very low expectations.

Same boat here to with our 20 month old. I’m hoping some of our normal classes will still be on. But she’s not one to sit and watch hours of tv.

Hoping for dry days and that her new toys will entertain her.

Some of the replies on here are mean. We are grateful for our children and yes there are people I. Worse situations but 2 weeks of probably rubbish weather and most normal activities is going to be tricky. what’s wrong with asking for some advice and support from people in a similar situation?

Julia Donaldson cartoons are lovely and might be nice for you as well as the kids.
Get outside each day to break the day up and get some energy burned off - are there any National Trust places near you with places left on light trails after Christmas? I think some are extending them into Jan this year.
You could Skype family some days - maybe they can send your little ones on a scavenger hunt or do a game with them?
Bake together - maybe decorate a gingerbread house? Last year we made some 'garibaldi shacks' from Garibaldi biscuits, sweets and icing because I couldn't face actually making gingerbread (thank you, Peppa Pig magazine, for the idea!).
Also, party games - musical statues, bumps and pass the parcel could be fun for the children and keep them entertained.

I was worrying about this. I'm a single parent and was worried about entertaining the three year old all day. Some family are going to come now, but I still think he will require lots of my attention!

I have a 5 and 2 year olds. Like you we usually have Xmas with at least 10 people. On the plus side I'm looking forward to just being us and pottering around doing our own thing (I think this year we'll do Xmas dinner at 5ish instead of 1ish like our parents do as that will work better with our youngest's nap and instead we'll do a snacky lunch with crackers/pate etc rather than an evening buffet). I'm doing duck breasts which are much quicker to cook than a whole bird/joint so we can head out in the afternoon for a walk without worrying too much about getting home to start dinner .

I understand the two weeks though. It's fine if the weather is nice but if it rains every day and there's no softplay/swimming/friends or family to visit it gets a bit much at home all the time.

I'm a year ahead of you OP with a 3 and 5 year old (plus a 10 month old).

I can't comment on the holidays as I love pottering around and having everyone home (NOT a brag, it is still exhausting and it is purely down to kids personalities that it's not painful and stressful) but I'm in the reverse situation to you: was immensely looking forward to another quiet just us christmas, then my dad died last week and will now be round my mums making the day special for my mum and siblings.

If it helps, I was meticulously planning the day to make it special for the kids and also get them tired enough to have a lovely couples Christmas evening. The (successful in previous years including ages 2 and 4) plan was:

-Wake up - open stocking presents in mum and dad's bed. Stick christmassy family tv on in background

• play with stocking presents while I set up (prepped day before) special Christmas tea party with teapot of fruit juice, pastries, fruit for breakfast. Us to have coffee/hot chocolate in bed

• after breakfast move to living room, open tree presents. Call family to thank for presents

• use new toiletries and toothbrushes in stocking to have quick christmassy bubble bath with new bath bombs etc, then get changed into new Xmas pyjamas

• At this point I go to prepare lunch, kids will be playing nearby with their new presents and dp will be with the baby watching Christmassy TV

• Lunch served earlyish, maybe 2pm. Ban on snacks from about 12pm.

• Lunch eaten, we will have a very small portion to enjoy with the kids at the table and will be saving our appetites for a proper relaxing dinner in the evening

• after lunch we play games together. Console games and board games like Orchard games or snap. The 3 year old has previously just pottered round enjoying the atmosphere and playing with toys but this year would have been into it. Games will continue until the kids get bored, they will then do a combination for the next couple of hours of playing together with new toys, asking to do one of their presents (crafts, puzzles etc) with our help and watching a variety of their favourite show's Christmas specials (Peppa pig, cat in the hat etc) on TV.

• around 6pm we would do a "hot chocolate factory" and snuggle down altogether in a den we have built around the sofa or bed and watch a favourite christmas movie. Kids are usually exhausted by this point and will fall asleep very content.

• in the evening DP and I would be having a couple of drinks, playing a board game or console game and then eating more dinner in peace before turning in.

I know it sounds a little structured but it really is fun and magic and at that age I feel kids thar age benefit from a little structure or else things can fall a bit flat and they can be a bit overexcited and tantrummy.

Writing it out does make me a little sad but a busy hectic Christmas will be a nice change!

I think some people are being quite mean OP, just because they don't find it daunting doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid. I'm apprehensive about the two weeks with no nursery at the 15 hrs DS does gives us a good structure, and loads of stuff is closed at the moment.

Echoing a PP, if you don't love a traditional Christmas dinner I'd be tempted to do a buffet type meal of Christmas bits so that neither adult is in the kitchen for hours. I'd also spread out the presents, I think a big pile of new stuff is quite overwhelming for young children.

Could be worth seeing what is on locally- London Zoo have just said they'll be open in tier 3 so that's giving me one activity if I can get tickets. Can also do some crafty stuff with a zoo theme before and after too.

We are in exactly the same situation as you. And everyone keeps saying "oh but you'll have such a lovely day as you have the children" but they just can't know that! We'll end up going out for 2 walks to break it up and watch more TV than normal!

Your normal Christmas sounds lovely. Hopefully get to enjoy it next year!

My advice is to not try and make it the same but smaller, as you will no doubt be disappointed. Maybe get to a park, even if raining, cover up with wellies and have a giggle about it. Have a crazy breakfast (sprinkles on toast?). Your kids are a great age to see the fun in everything. Just take the pressure off and do what works for you.

Christmas Day will be fine- it’s the 2 weeks that might drive you crazy. We’ve had smaller Christmas days since our children were born as we’ve refused to travel on actual Christmas Day. We have always had the extended family time on other days. Last year my baby spent all of Christmas Day vomiting and had just had a spell in hospital so we were knackered and just felt a lot of pressure to make things nice for our 3 year old despite feeling a bit shit about the whole thing. We still had a nice time but had to lower our expectations. One tip Is to cook your Christmas dinner during nap time (assuming 2yo is still napping)- then you won't feel like you’re missing out on time with the children.