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Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Spending Christmas at home with young children...

90 replies

FollowThatStarTonight · 14/12/2020 14:10

The way things are working out this year with families, bubbles etc we're just going to be at home ourselves with 2 little ones (aged 2 and 4).

I know we're lucky and I should be looking forward to it and whatnot but I'm so used to big family gatherings, having loads of adults around to help with the kids, getting a chance to cook for hours sipping fizz while grandparents play with the wee ones etc... I'm just not sure what to expect just the four of us.

The kids are at really difficult stages just now and need quite full-on parenting. We try to keep ourselves as busy as possible with nursery, classes etc as days in the house can feel very long and end up with everyone feeling a bit stressed.

I'm probably worrying over nothing and like I say I know how lucky we are. I just can't help wondering if Christmas day might not be very enjoyable and the thought of 2.5 weeks of no nursery etc fills me with dread! Anyone else with little ones in the same boat?

Sorry, I'll go off and get a grip now...

OP posts:
AlexaPlayWhiteNoise · 14/12/2020 23:15

@SadlyMe

Be grateful you can be with your children. A lot of us with adult children won't have the big family get together either, and will only see our children on a bloody screen. So be bloody grateful you will be able to give your kids a hug on Christmas Day, I'd give anything to be able to hug mine!
And my baby is dead and in a tiny box of ashes, so be glad your children are alive Hmm

Ffs competitive misery is ridiculous. OP is trying to find alternative ways of making her Christmas with small children special in a shit show of a year, when nothing is open and it's been a year of walks and not much else.

Hohomerryxmas · 14/12/2020 23:20

I remember Christmases when my DC were around that age (1 year between them). I was a single parent and would be pretty much on my own with them all day bar Christmas Dinner (myself and their DF are still very good friends despite being separated so he'd still eat Xmas Dinner with us).

Try and do as much of the prep as you can on Christmas eve and you can also buy stuff ready cooked, so all you have to do is simply reheat. I actually cook all my christmas dinner (apart from roasties and gravy) on Christmas eve so all I have to is reheat and dish up. You can also cook few of the dishes even earlier and freeze.

Another thing I used to was hold some of the gifts back on Christmas as the DC would get overwhelmed with all the gifts so I'd bring gifts downstairs from the loft throughout the day.

I agree with going for a walk after lunch on Christmas day. We do this every year, it doesn't have to be a long walk, just enough to stretch our legs and get some much needed fresh air after such a big lunch.

user686833 · 14/12/2020 23:44

The will be the first Christmas I've ever spent all day at home with just my kids and partner too. We've decided we will get a takeaway or have a buffet instead of Christmas dinner, because whilst we do enjoy Christmas dinner, a takeaway is something we have far less often than a roast, and it will take away a lot of stress away, and mean we can focus on the kids more to reduce the general fighting/destruction/whining because we are too busy to help with toys. We will cook a traditional christmas dinner on boxing Day or new year's eve instead.

We always have quite a long breakfast before presents under the trees anyway, but this time we won't be dashing off to family after the presents so can take it slow. We have pancakes with salmon/bacon/fruit, Santa pancakes for the kids. Bucks fizz and fresh tea and coffee.

We will watch a movie Christmas day which we never usually have time to do, usually we watch something Christmas Eve but I will be working this year. Soul is being released on Disney+ on Christmas day so I am really looking forward to that.

Murmurur · 15/12/2020 00:27

Focus on making it a nice day for your partner. If you both try and do more then your fair share of the "jobs" they'll get done quickly and you'll both feel supported. Tag team, give each other breaks if needed. You have 3 loved ones with you instead of 10+, so focus on those 3 and I don't just mean the children. Make the most of having more time one to one with your partner than when you're all off circulating and helping in a big gathering.

My kids are older, which I know makes a huge difference, but DH has much preferred us being home alone on Christmas Day for years. Food doesn't need to be difficult. Normal roast plus bought stuffing and pigs in blankets, and bought cranberry sauce, job's a good'un. As long as you have decent gravy it'll be delicious. We have smoked salmon & scrambled eggs for breakfast - not much bother but feels like a treat. Cheese and crackers for tea, bit of fruit and Christmas cake, done. If you want to spend hours pottering in the kitchen then your partner may be happy to do the kids while you do that. Personally we'd rather get dinner done without too much ceremony and then multitask doing a big crossword together while playing hexbugs with the kids.

duploo · 15/12/2020 09:45

Gosh OP, I was the first to reply then didn't check in for a day. Since then, so many horrible posts - for goodness sake, it's a light hearted thread. I'm sure the OP is grateful, she does spend time with her family, she does know how lucky she is to be able to have children at all and to be not dead from covid or whatever else. Calm down 😅

FollowThatStarTonight · 15/12/2020 09:55
Grin

Thanks for all the replies and suggestions. I've loved hearing about everyone's Christmas routines and ideas of fun things to do in the holidays with pretty much everything closed. I'm hoping for dry weather!

The 2 year is a lot of hard work at the moment but maybe a few weeks of being at home will be helpful for her.

My poor mum was quite tearful on the phone last night at the prospect of not seeing her brood. Hopefully 2021 brings families back together where possible.

OP posts:
GRAK · 15/12/2020 10:00

Maybe plan some Christmas craft activities in case things get out of hand. It's going to be different for my family this year but my two are little older. Try and schedule zoom calls with your extended family too to break up the day.

harrietm1987 · 15/12/2020 10:09

@PearlescentIridescent

I'm a year ahead of you OP with a 3 and 5 year old (plus a 10 month old).

I can't comment on the holidays as I love pottering around and having everyone home (NOT a brag, it is still exhausting and it is purely down to kids personalities that it's not painful and stressful) but I'm in the reverse situation to you: was immensely looking forward to another quiet just us christmas, then my dad died last week and will now be round my mums making the day special for my mum and siblings.

If it helps, I was meticulously planning the day to make it special for the kids and also get them tired enough to have a lovely couples Christmas evening. The (successful in previous years including ages 2 and 4) plan was:

-Wake up - open stocking presents in mum and dad's bed. Stick christmassy family tv on in background

  • play with stocking presents while I set up (prepped day before) special Christmas tea party with teapot of fruit juice, pastries, fruit for breakfast. Us to have coffee/hot chocolate in bed
  • after breakfast move to living room, open tree presents. Call family to thank for presents
  • use new toiletries and toothbrushes in stocking to have quick christmassy bubble bath with new bath bombs etc, then get changed into new Xmas pyjamas
  • At this point I go to prepare lunch, kids will be playing nearby with their new presents and dp will be with the baby watching Christmassy TV
  • Lunch served earlyish, maybe 2pm. Ban on snacks from about 12pm.
  • Lunch eaten, we will have a very small portion to enjoy with the kids at the table and will be saving our appetites for a proper relaxing dinner in the evening
  • after lunch we play games together. Console games and board games like Orchard games or snap. The 3 year old has previously just pottered round enjoying the atmosphere and playing with toys but this year would have been into it. Games will continue until the kids get bored, they will then do a combination for the next couple of hours of playing together with new toys, asking to do one of their presents (crafts, puzzles etc) with our help and watching a variety of their favourite show's Christmas specials (Peppa pig, cat in the hat etc) on TV.
  • around 6pm we would do a "hot chocolate factory" and snuggle down altogether in a den we have built around the sofa or bed and watch a favourite christmas movie. Kids are usually exhausted by this point and will fall asleep very content.
  • in the evening DP and I would be having a couple of drinks, playing a board game or console game and then eating more dinner in peace before turning in.

I know it sounds a little structured but it really is fun and magic and at that age I feel kids thar age benefit from a little structure or else things can fall a bit flat and they can be a bit overexcited and tantrummy.

Writing it out does make me a little sad but a busy hectic Christmas will be a nice change!

Thank you for this - going to copy it! I’ve got a 2.5 year old and a 6 week old. I was pregnant throughout lockdown so knew this Christmas wasn’t going to be “normal” but usually we have massive family christmases too and I would have loved to introduce baby to all the family and be waited on while feeding her and having everyone play with DS!

We will be in London far from family too but going to try to make it special for our 2.5 year old as this is the first year he understands what’s happening. I think adjusting expectations is key. And time outside to tire them out!

TheABC · 15/12/2020 10:18

There's been some great ideas on this thread!

For us, the trick is "strategic presents" - stockings, obviously allow that extra hour of sleep - followed by a crafty toy or lego (my kids are a bit older) that they can play with, whilst you eat a leisurely breakfast.

We also have a games afternoon and I recommend checking out National Trust or English Heritage properties near you - a lot of them have their grounds open over Christmas, with socially-distanced trails.

drspouse · 15/12/2020 10:47

We have always spread out the presents over DAYS not hours.
So, something they can play with on Christmas day.
The others stay in the wardrobe if they are too young not to unwrap them.
We try and go to the beach in wellies on Boxing Day (or we may go and see the mad swimmers if they are madly swimming this year).

BiddyPop · 15/12/2020 11:48

At that age, for the break from nursery, could you establish new routines? Like them helping organise dinner every day - getting out the potatoes from cupboard, pots from cupboards, mixing things etc.

And getting them to make their beds every day - a parent with them helping, (and younger will need more hands on help than older), or pairing socks as you fold laundry etc. Just getting them involved in everyday life.

Have a baking day 1 day - but get other parent to corral them for 20 minutes beforehand so you can get organised (packets out that you need to get, things measured that they can't help with. IF you have space, time, energy and ingredients/utensils, maybe split the mixing between 2 bowls for each to do a half-batch? Do an easy recipe for this day and be prepared for interest to wane before you are finished.

And leave decorating the results to the next day - spread out the activities and your energies (and the extent of the mess on any 1 occasion!). For decorating, maybe have the icing already made, or make a couple of colours beforehand but let them each make some white or 1 colour each....and again have your bits out before letting them lose.

Some free printables from the internet (DLTK, Activity Village, Crayola and other websites) can be useful as a standby. I especially like AV (although lots are now behind a paywall) and DLTK as there are not just colouring pictures at different levels of complexity, but activity sheets which are seasonal but work on literacy/numeracy/making shapes/starting writing/word searches/,..... going right up to story starters suitable for the top end of primary school. So it's something you can keep doing just updating for their development as the years go on.

Fresh air daily, even if its raining. Walking in rain can be lots of fun, put on wet gear, leave clean dry clothes ready before going out, and the makings of a hot drink/snack. If very wet, let them have the fun of a middle-of-the-day bath and relax in that (after coming home). But different animals seem to come out when it's wet, and there are lots of different sounds, and you can see what parts of the ground are wet but how trees and branches keep other parts dry, or the side of the tree that's wet showing the wind direction.....

Other crafty projects could include potato stamping or hand printing brown paper to make wrapping paper for their presents to each other and Mammy and Daddy. Or a card for DGPs etc.

On Christmas Eve, definitely enjoy the excitement in the morning, but try to dial it down from mid-afternoon. Maybe look at tracking santa if you want, but quieter activities, and maybe a nice storytime together or watching a movie....rather than dancing around and building hyperness. Once dinner is over, definitely quieter activities - we do a hamper (I know, hated by many here) with pJs, bath bomb and hot choc that comes out after dinner, DD sets out her stocking and goes for a warm bath, new PJs and then we have a calm hot choc together before I read her a bedtime story tucked up in bed (well, that last part finished 2 Christmases ago as she's now a teen but the rest still happens). So there is a better chance she will settle to sleep well, rather than being up half the night. and thus a better chance of an enjoyable day next day. (We couldn't do it 1 year when travelling to family, they got ALL the DCs all riled up all evening, DD slept dreadfully and was in foul form on 25th because she was too tired).

Apart from whatever toys Santa wants to bring, a good idea might be a new board game that they will enjoy for whatever point of the day you can enjoy family time, or need a 1 parent cooking/1 parent occupying DCs time. It might be something that got lost behind the tree and is only seen after dinner, if that suits timewise. Or get out some favourite game to play together.

But you might also find that the new toys are a great hit, especially if a parent gets down on the floor to explore it initially and help the play get started, but can pull back, and let them at it once they figure it out or grab old dollies to meet new dollie or imagination starts to fire up...

(It might help to clear away wrappings - whether you can persuade them to help when you pull out a big bag from beside the chair, or do it around them as they are engrossed - but reduces clutter and helps reduce the aaaaggggghhhhh of a chaotic morning).

And it should be a nice day for them too for food - so if they won't eat a roast dinner, or will eat parts but not roast potatoes say, have something they will eat or a small serving of mash, or their favourite carrot sticks to munch on ...as long as they eat sufficiently. (Buffet may not work for 25th, but we do 1 on 24th every year, some things DD didn't like but always plenty she did, and she could try new things that way as SHE picked it not it being forced on her plate....and we could enjoy some of our favourite treats too even if she didn't like them).

minipie · 15/12/2020 12:02

2 and 4 is hard work!

I agree with the PP saying don’t put too much pressure on yourself. The excitement of the stockings and new toys will be enough to make it special, without loads of extra activities

Try to make the cooking quite simple or done mostly in advance so you both have enough time to play with the DC and take them for walks, as that’s what’s going to keep them happy and stop them throwing strops. There’s no point in a super fancy Christmas lunch accompanied by wailing child.

Post lunch is movie time, whatever the 2 year old will watch really, so you can clear up and have a breather.

Personally I avoid alcohol in the morning as it makes me want to sit on the sofa and snooze and that’s not compatible with small DC. But everyone reacts differently

Make sure your DH is on the same page and recognises you both need to pitch in more than usual as there’s no grandparents etc to take the kids.

They may well have been up early (sorry...) so that hopefully means early bedtime and nice adult time in the evening.

drspouse · 15/12/2020 12:48

We have always taken our two swimming on Christmas Eve by the way, it wears them out.

HerbErtlinger · 15/12/2020 12:58

I've done a 'lucky dip' bag in previous years filled with cheap, wrapped things to do. I think it cost about £30 to do and was essentially stuff to keep the kids busy and entertained. Crafts to make, things to do etc from The Range/Home Bargains.
Even things like a pack of digestives with festive sprinkles for them to spread with choc spread and decorate... Wrapped in a bag to whip out during lulls or periods of time they need distracting

PerditaNitt · 15/12/2020 13:02

Throw in a couple of zoom calls with family to keep them involved. We will be scheduling in about 4 calls spread out over the day.

I have a 2yr old and a 4yr old and we are going to be going with the flow on Christmas Day. They will have lots of lovely presents to play with, we will go for a walk to see everyone’s Christmas lights and we will cuddle up on the sofa to watch some kids films on TV. Christmas music in the background all day and obligatory Santa hats/Christmas headbands/DHdressed in an elf costume.

Enjoy your Christmas Day OP! Next year will be back to business as usual, so just make the most of the one year when you don’t have to pack suitcases (and a million things for the kids) and head off to stay in a different house overnight (where the kids never sleep properly).

Murmurur · 15/12/2020 13:20

@HerbErtlinger that sounds like a great idea.

OP, I bung a lasagne and some garlic bread in the freezer about now. Defrost for Christmas Eve as an easy but treat dinner - one less thing to worry about nearer the day.

OverTheRainbow88 · 15/12/2020 13:23

I'm just not sure what to expect just the four of us.

Well, probably like any other day just the four of you confused. Have you never spent a day in the house together?

I guess that’s the issue, not wanting it it feel like just another ordinary day at home.

@FollowThatStarTonight
My kids are exactly the same age, we are hoping for nice weather and will try and burn off some energy in the morning at a playground, then lunch then presents and play with new toys!

Parbor · 15/12/2020 14:01

We’re also having our first Christmas of just us. We have a four year old, a nearly two year old and two teenagers. We’ve had to spend so much time as just us in the house or going for walks this year already that I’m worried Christmas won’t feel at all special and will just be another day.
I haven’t cooked a roast since the beginning of November in the hope that the dinner at least feels special!

Jaijai38 · 15/12/2020 14:36

As well as spreading the presents out we used to spread out dinner - so starter , couple of hours later main, couple of hours later pudding.

SeptSpiral · 15/12/2020 17:35

I’ve just gone through all our normal activities and places to go. Apart from Christmas Day somewhere is open every day, so I can look at the weather nearer the time and plan our days out

loutypips · 15/12/2020 18:21

I think it's quite sad that you don't enjoy, or look forward to spending time with your children.
They will be playing with their new toys, happy and having fun. It's these times you should cherish as they don't last long! Play with them - plan dinner etc around them. If there's two of you then you can take turns playing with them whilst the other is cooking.

Duggeehugs82 · 15/12/2020 18:25

Im in same situation as i have nearly 4 year old and nearly 2 year old but mine is slightly different as have nealey 4 year old has severe autism but ive always spent Christmas day with a lots of people so this year just 4 of us, so totally get what u was saying 💗

inappropriateraspberry · 15/12/2020 18:29

I love the fact that we have a few days of not having to go anywhere or do anything, other than spend time together as a family. These days, we don't always get much chance to just 'be'. We'll look at our gifts, play some games, watch tv. And eat lots! Let your normal routine go for a bit and relax.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/12/2020 18:29

Put some presents in a sack and hide then bring them out Boxing Day.

Wrap up colouring books etc for the kids to open once they've finished eating so they stay at the table.

Make sure you're out and about as much the week before Christmas / after Christmas. There's no reason for ot to be a fortnight in the house.

We have a 5 yo and 1 year old twins and an elderly MIL who will come down for a few hours on Xmas Day.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/12/2020 18:32

@loutypips

I think it's quite sad that you don't enjoy, or look forward to spending time with your children. They will be playing with their new toys, happy and having fun. It's these times you should cherish as they don't last long! Play with them - plan dinner etc around them. If there's two of you then you can take turns playing with them whilst the other is cooking.
Op hasn't said she doesn't want to spend time with her kids. But there's ap pandemic on and lockdown more on than off for months, the novelty of staying in and playing is wearing thin for lots of people who miss their family, and whilst it would once have been part of the special novelty of Christmas to be together, it no longer is, it's just a reminder of everyone we can't be with
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