Poncetastic 2020

[VivaJen]

I came on looking for the annual thread but can't find it so here is the start (courtesy of Fellatio - wherever you are)

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Bullace here, looks v similar to your photo:

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullace

Woolly those are wild plums, not sloes.

Pegasus- I choose a Christmas book each year to cook from and buy it second hand - it's pretty much the same cost as buying a magazine. Last year I cooked from hairy bikers, I've also done Mary berry and Nigella and an old hood house keeping. They've all been fab and I love just focusing on one book that I can leave on the coffee table to peruse whenever I feel a festive cook coming on. I'm cooking from Jamie's this year (£6 like new from amazon) and can't wait :)

Thank you everyone for the fruit identification. I'll take a walk tomorrow and see if there are any left.

Poncing fail this morning. I was going to bake my Christmas cake but forgot to take the butter out to soften. No time this afternoon so it's on the list for tomorrow.

I have a second hand copy of Nigella Christmas that I bought a few years ago as I kept getting it out of the library. Currently reading a library copy of Nigel Slater's Christmas Chronicles, lots of nice festive writing in between the recipes (if you like his style)

Rhinestone I haven't got the book yet, but I found Nigel Slater's podcast related to the book last week which he narrates himself. (And another called "Mainlining Christmas" which looks slightly anarchic but also quite interesting!! ).

Craft day yesterday - sewing repairs and mask making in the morning, but the afternoon was cutting out (last of the black cotton for DD masks, and 2 Christmas stockings - I have 2 more to cut because I can't decide which 3 of the 4 potential fabrics are nicest, and I will find plenty of takers for the remaining 1). I was knitting in front of tv after dinner as well.

After a dull wet start, its brightening up here now, and DH had to go to his office (front door only - not allowed in!), so he grabbed 2 nice (filled) bagels for our lunch en route home. I hadn't had 1 in months!!

Welcome to all the newbies, it's time to fly along now with our preps and our chat!! And be done with loads of time to enjoy the season rather than be a ball of stress trying to get everything done last minute....

Thanks Rhinestone and Waiting.

I have Jamie O and Nigella both in my Amazon shopping basket but really like as you describe waiting the idea of just one I leave on a coffee table and dip in and out of.

I actually rather like the hairy bikers Xmas book.

I have the Hairy Bikers (love their mince pie pastry!!) and Sarah Raven books. Am pondering another this year...

I’m going to follow this thread just for the unabashedly hilarious opening post alone @VivaJen! 😂 I’d like to be a poncetastic person sometimes but I never grew up that way so I’ll just gawk in awe at everyone else’s Martha Stewart on coke efforts.

Oh I'd forgotten the Nigel slater one! It's my favourite and even if I'm "cooking" from another one , that comes out- just to read the stories, and envy his seemingly effortless top notch master level poncing, his Christmas candle snobbery is a thing to behold (£150 for a candle anyone?) alongside the beautiful recipes. Off to give it a peruse now in fact.

Another vote for Nigel Slater! He is the ultimate Christmas ponce (and his pudding recipes are excellent).

I bought Nigel's book after Woolly recommended it. I got a brand new copy for £10 from eBay which I thought was OK. I got most of my Christmas ones second hand though.

I'm now going to look for the Hairy Bikers' one. We love them!

Ohh I've been waiting for this thread!

Hoping to move house before Christmas so afraid I'll be limited to low-level (or at least easy to pack) poncing this year - but looking forward to vicarious thrills on here!!

@Lucysmam what about crayon rolls for the 11 year olds? Or the same basic concept as a make up brushes roll, if they are starting to get into makeup and facial stuff?

Or a box pouch, in colours suited to each - there are loads of tutorials on YouTube, and they can be different sizes, so you could make a pencilcase, or makeup bag, or pouch for hair bobbins, or to hold earbuds and charging cables for phones, or.....

I can vouch for the excellence of Nigel Slater's Christmas cake.

Thanks for the heads up on the cookbooks, just got Delia smiths Christmas cookbook for £3 on ebay.

What way do you decorate your hall if you used to have a big garland up the stairs every year but have moved to a bungalow?

Could you post a photo Utterly?

How many doors in your hallway and are they glass, white or wood coloured? Do you have any tables or bookcases with a flat surface to put 'stuff' on?

Utterly some nice ideas here. A few bannisters but also tables, “nooks” and doorways. Any good?

www.idealhome.co.uk/christmas-ideas/christmas-hallway-decorating-ideas-186081

I'd put little (5/6 inch) wreaths or some vertical bunting/hangings on each internal door. A garland along any table and maybe a big glass vase filled with baubles and maybe some battery operated LED lights

Or greenery across the tops of doors

These short green swags came from Poundland, and I added poinsettias, stars etc. Each year they come out and get hung over all the hall doors. The little pins on which they hang stay on the doors all year round. Very quick bit of decorating.

First time on this thread, love it! I've found my people 😍. People IRL think I'm slightly crazy for Christmas. Wish I knew people in my circle like you lovely ladies and gents.

Thanks for the cookbook advice.. Haven't got Nigel Slater's not sure how I missed that one, seem to have every other Christmas cookbook out there. Think I'll treat myself to cheer myself up. This thread is the only thing keeping me sane atm

Every year a see a book called something like an Irish country woman's Christmas recommended on here.

I found it but will not be buying it 😮