Poncetastic 2020

[VivaJen]

I came on looking for the annual thread but can't find it so here is the start (courtesy of Fellatio - wherever you are)

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@Trumpton

Went blackberry picking today with dgc. Got enough for a blackberry and Apple crumble and, more importantly, Blackberry brandy on the go !

PAPERWHITE NARCISSI FOR CHRISTMAS

INSTRUCTIONS
I also ordered my bulbs from her they should be delivered soon. I grow mine on pebbles in hurricane lamps. Generally start them on November 11th .
When the shoots are 3inches high carefully tip water out and replace with watered down gin or vodka SEE HERE . This stunts the greenery so it’s less floppy but leaves the flowers intact .
I’ve been doing them for about 30 years now and only ever had one failure . Cheap bulbs I think.

@Bercows Photo . I have quoted previous post. Good luck

Thank you!

@waitingforadulthood. You could buy scarves or similar to wrap the presents; then they get 2 for the price of 1.

Daily you are welcome even if you get no further than than intending.

You will also see that not all plans come together. Recipes can go wrong and decorations sometimes suffer from DC’s enthusiastic help

I normally do a garland which goes under the bannister on the stairs. Last year one of the DC took it upon themselves to collect an eclectic mixture of leaves and do this rather fetching 1970s vibe display.

That wasn’t a fail as it looked great and attracted lots of attention. But be assured I’ve had lots of things that don’t look the way I imagined or saw on Pinterest . It doesn’t matter as I love planning and pottering.

This year I'd love to make some garlands to hang across the ceilings. My childhood was full of the concertina foil ones but sadly the 80s are no more and I'm thinking of something that would last years and be homemade. I've lots of pine cones in the garage that I could use but I do g know what to put with them or what kind of thread to use. Ribbon? Has anyone done anything similar?

Dd bought me a roll of this years ago . Could you use a length and wind it round the cones ?
HERE

Love this thread.

Just added the fruit and brandy to my online shop so I can start soaking for the cake next week.

I always intend to do a garland on the banister and never get round to it - we live in a magnolia 70s house with white painted banisters so always worry it's not quite the thing.

I usually take a trip to our local Victorian cemetery a few days before Christmas with a pair of secateurs and gather a bit of holly and ivy. I drape bits artfully (well I think so) over bookcases and mirrors and usually have some holly in a jug too.

I grew a chilli plant this year and it had loads of tiny red fruits, I'm currently drying a load on the window sill, I've used them in wreaths before now if I can't find holly with berries on.

Oooo, due to unfestive finances I usually just watch these threads and ponce vicariously. I am joining with full force this year!

DM has just popped over with the weekly shop (DS is ill so she got it for us), she has got fruit and brandy for the cake so I will start it later

Huzzah! So much to do...

Thanks Trumpton!

Watch out for paperwhites and other bulbs if you have cats. They don't mix, sadly.

I've made brownies (no photo!) and mince pies today. I'm steadily building Christmas stock!

@NoWordForFluffy do you freeze the pies or are they for immediate satisfaction of festive excitement?

Well, we eat the 'seconds' and freeze the rest! 😁😋🐷

This thread is truly the loveliest. Thank you all for making my autumn.

My parents have moved to a house with lots of damsons. So far I have made 1 bottle of damson vodka and ummm ..... 3 bottles of damson gin.

Also made a lot damson jam. We had homemade mincemeat left over from last year so have made some trial mince pies. Did some with a small amount of damson jam at the bottom and it was scrummy even the mince pie haters of the house liked those!

Oooh signing in!

I’ve been looking forward to revisiting this lovely thread all day. Loving the hurricane lamps and all the festive booze on the go!

Spent a little while (ok, a long while) on the Hobby Craft website today, for the first time ever. Wow! Although I’m going to enlist the toddler to pick pine cones and twigs, rather than buying them.

This line from Cankles made me laugh a LOT:

decorations sometimes suffer from DC’s enthusiastic help

For anyone picking stuff from Victorian church yards - we have one close by too and I love a good rummage myself - it’s worth bearing in mind that the foliage may contain lead. So it’s best to keep it away from children and pets. I learned this when I volunteered to clear parts of our local one a few years ago. The lead person said that Victorians often lined coffins with lead, and that some of it is still in the trees/mushrooms etc and not to be tempted to eat anything we found growing. Wouldn’t have ever occurred to me!

Is anyone able to confirm that these are sloes? There's a stash growing wild locally and I'd love to make a little bit of sloe gin.

Can't see a pic @TheWoollybacksWife?

Bloody hell, thanks to this thread I've got £100 of craft stuff sat in my amazon basket, visions of festive ideas dancing like sugar plums in my head, and a lantern and narcissi collection on the way.
Sharing this in case anyone else fancies making them. Light modelling paste is rather expensive I've found but I guess they would last years if looked after and they are beautiful.

brooklynhomemaker.com/2013/12/05/gingerbread-salt-dough-ornaments/amp/

Does anyone rely on one recipe book for their main cook?

My Christmas recipes are a mix from all over the internet but I do fancy an actual book to have everything in one place.

@TheWoollybacksWife they look like sloes. The bushes should have long prickles, leaves with no splits, the berries are on the branches with very short stems.

Here’s an identification guide, the leaf pictured is wider than the ones we have around here, ours are long and thin.
treegrowing.tcv.org.uk/identify/blackthorn

@TheWoollybacksWife I think that might be bullace (wild plum), rather than sloe. Sloe leaves are a bit longer and there would usually be spikes too. Always a bit hard to tell with a photo. A good way to check is to bite into one. If it’s really, really sour and makes your mouth go dry, it’s sloe. If it’s got some sweetness, it’s bullace or damson. All would go well with gin and sugar in a bottle.