Poncetastic 2020

[VivaJen]

I came on looking for the annual thread but can't find it so here is the start (courtesy of Fellatio - wherever you are)

OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

@nerosfiddle £689?!?!?!

Luckily my years on the Christmas bargain hunter thread have served me well. I have found it for more than 50% less. Only £250.
You're welcome

bargain copy of Irish Christmas book

That is crazy. My new book for this year is the Mary Berry one which I picked up for £3. Jamie's was last year, but I didnt love it. Baked carbonara didn't scream Christmas to me.

I bought the HB one for £3.50 earlier! I certainly won't be buying the ICA one, not even at the bargain price of £250! 😱😂

Look what I've got! Are you all ?

I could start a bidding war 😂

I got some raspberries today to do the vodka, I’m very excited

For those getting the hairy bikers book I can highly recommend their mulled wine (which I do straight into the slow cooker) the chestnut apple soup, the orange juice mince pie pastry and this glorious turkey leftovers pie
www.goodtoknow.co.uk/recipes/turkey-and-ham-pie-with-cranberry-topping

The Christmas pudding vodka is a very marmite creature, people seem to love or hate it- but if you make a bottle and decant into miniatures to add as table gifts/ adult stocking gifts/ part of hampers then it's always well received. Everyone wants to try it , a single little mini is a Christmas treat, but a whole bottle is just too much richness.

And the hairy bikers chocolate log is gluten free so an annual fallback for me (it's not as nice as others but it is good and the gf status makes it's bloody useful imo)

@BiddyPop ear bud pouches would likely go down well. One isn't into make up at the mo - although judging by dd2's best friend that could quickly change. The other has a dinky make up bag that I've seen.

I stitched little pictures of their interests on cards and framed them last year. The younger has hers on display on her dressing table but I'm not sure about the older one.

I'm brewing a cold atm so planning an easy morning before work - I'm going to pull my fabric stash out again and see if it actually is the makings of a busy book in there, and print the advent calendar I want to make.

Might scroll ebay for a few large, pink, poinsettia type flowers for the tree and see what else I can find too.

I went ahead and bought the nigella Christmas book and then came back to this thread where the overwhelming consensus seems to be Nigel Slater.

I might end up buying that one too...tbh it’s going to be devoured for ideas and the periodically flicked through, but I’m quite sure I’ll use at least some of my old favourites.

Thanks folks, that's some lovely hallway inspiration! @TrickyD, I like your convenient displays of weaponry, very handy for when the inlaws act up

I have a copy of the ICA book too. I don't think it's worth three figures!

So far....raspberry gin and vodka, evil chilli chutney, green tomato chutney and plum chutney. Making the mincemeat this weekend and possibly the Christmas cake.
Only recently moved, so decorations are being changed.
Partner has made pineapple in whisky.
Poncing well and truly underway.....love it.

Speaking of mincemeat, I made Delia's and, though delicious, the extra jars went mouldy by January! Any suggestions or alternative recipes? I have the Darina Allen Christmas book, Delia, and Nigel Slater's Christmas chronicles, if there are any in there.

@TheWoollybacksWife you've got the holy grail

@RestorationInsanity I've made Nigellas mincemeat and it lasted a good while. I think also Mary Berry too. Although I usually go off recipe.

Some of my craft stuff is arriving today
Making mincemeat you say? I've never done that. Does it cost a small fortune? We love making mince pies and I do make the pastry but buy the mincemeat. Sorry I will amend my ways.

I'm the opposite @Bercows, started making mincemeat but used shop bought pastry! We both can have slapped wrists and start ponceing as we mean to go on!

Thanks @NerosFiddle I will have a look at both of those. Perhaps I was not fastidious enough with my sterilising or use of wax seals!

I've never had mincemeat go off. I think your jars weren't closed tight enough, sadly. (Mine lasts well over a year.)

I make the pastry and mincemeat. It's easier if you have a mixer with a dough hook, especially if you have dodgy shoulders like me with don't withstand much kneading the clicking sound makes me 🤮.

@NoWordForFluffy I will try with some other jars, I had clip tops with rubber seals, and see if that makes a difference!

Restoration I tend to sterilise my jars when I am potting up the mincemeat - I've done some in jam jars with screw tops, and some in small kilners with the clips and rubber seals, both work well. But I either run them through the dishwasher on hot and use straight from there, or heat them in the oven just before using - like if you were making jam. (I will be using the last jar of 2015 batch and 3 from 2017 this Christmas, I had a 2015 one last year and it was seriously lush as the flavours had changed (improved) over time).

Can't believe its poncing time again, last year I managed very very simple very messy stockings, might try to improve them this year. I've made a start on some cross stitch and am planning to try and make some salt dough decorations. Will just be me and DP for christmas this year as we are abroad and it looks like travelling won't happen.

I use Mary Berry's recipe to make the pastry. She puts orange zest in it and it does fit it that extra hit.

I have never had mincemeat going off but I do give my jars a water bath. I also add a bit of citric acid and an extra slosh of alcohol on the top of the mincemeat.
The only downside is that you get a top layer of suet as it melts in the water bath. You can either mix it back before using it or discard it.
Does anyone know where to get cheap big clip top jars? I want to do some blackberry whisky

@Lalanbaba, I got ours from Wilko. Cost £3, I think (2L one).

I sterilise my jars too. We make all kinds of jam all year, so it's second nature.

Neros, I use the GH Get Ahead recipe from 2018 which has orange zest in it too. Plus double cream and a few egg yolks. It's rather rich, but very tasty!

Loving this thread. I also make my own mincemeat but use shop bought pastry!

I have chutney left over from last year, but will need to make Asian chilli jam again as we are on our last jar. I will not be making onion marmalade again as nobody liked it (and I made six jars and stank the whole house out in the process).

I go all out on decorations every year but this year I will invest more of myself in the hall, I think. Bring on the foliage! DH will be delighted, he looks awfully pained each year when he sees the house ponce-ifield.

@RestorationInsanity Don't know if it would work with mincemeat, but when I make jam/marmalade I add a crushed Campden tablet to each batch; it acts as a preservative. I've got jam I made 3 years ago which is still OK.

Could I ask which hairy bikers book everyone has? Is it the twelve days of Christmas one?