Help me politely tell someone their gift is awful

[Dollyparton3]

So..... every year my parents spend a not insignificant amount of money on a hamper. Every year the same hamper from the same company contains the same items.

For the last 3 years the hamper itself has gone straight in recycling, the food items have gone into cupboards (I removed 3 packages yesterday that were out of date).

The wine that is included is not to our taste. Hubby and I are big wine lovers and to us this stuff is a bit like flavoured vinegar. I found 4 bottles of the wine untouched yesterday, I don't even think it's the sort of thing we can regift to others in a hurry.

Here's the dilemma. I told my parents very delicately last year that although the hamper was lovely, we didn't make use of half the items throughout the year so we'd really prefer something that the whole family can enjoy this year. Hubby was there when we said it. There was a definite conversation, I also said that some of it wasn't to our taste so it had gone to waste.

Yesterday morning I got a text from the hamper company saying my hamper yet again from them will arrive tomorrow. I'm now making plans to take all the food straight to a food bank.

I'm not a material person as in expectant of gifts but I do get really frustrated with waste. Especially when someone else is spending good money on something we absolutely won't use. Any thoughts on how to approach this?

OP, please don't hurt your parents feelings. They are trying to do something nice for you.

No they aren't. They have been told by the OP that what they have thought is a nice gift actually isn't and that it is a waste of their money.

Why should the OP continue to donate her Christmas gift to charity every year when her parents could actually listen to what they have been asked and stop sending the fucking hamper.

...and I loathe risotto too.

What's the big deal? You don't like a present. So what. No need to be rude to people. Give the stuff away.

No they aren't. They have been told by the OP that what they have thought is a nice gift actually isn't and that it is a waste of their money

Agree 100%. I find it beyond weird they would continue to send the exact same gift every damn year, even after the OP politely try to tell them that she didnt like or enjoy the food in it. It would be different if they were sending different gifts every year and one year the OP didnt like it. Then, I would agree about saying nothing. But EVERY year the exact same thing? no. Its ok to let them know gently that you dont like the food in it and its going to waste.

I wonder if, next year, you could politely ask them to buy part of your wine subscription instead? You enjoy it, the company will have your preferences listed, and it would be simple for your parents to organise.

But 100% I think you should just say nothing about thus year's gift.

I'm another one who despises risotto puke

Could you contact the hamper company and see if they have stuff you do like and swap it?

Only on MN is the sending of a hamper analysed to kingdom Come. And all the people involved always turn out to be psychopaths, narcissist, personalit disordered,controlling, abusive, trying to send hidden agenda messages through the medium of Italian food etc etc. Sometimes a hamper is JUST a hamper.

Very true

Maybe give it back to yr parents. That communicates what you need to say.

I sympathise. My parents not good at gift buying either.

I fail to understand the drama of it all. I have a similar situation with one of my relatives. Now for the background: I'm not picky and not a foodie, I eat/drink pretty much anything and everything (cheap or expensive). There are only three things I cannot consume: brandy (causes migraine for me), cheese (mild lactose intolerance and I absolutely hate cheese however weird it might be) and tea (I drink coffee only). Pickles/sausages in bags/cheap wine/orange jellies/anything else - bring it on.

So this relative gifts me naice cheese platters/bottles of (posh, I should say) brandy/a selection of naice tea on rotation. To this day I can't work out if it's a passive aggressive thing or if she's just forgetful, but I'm not that bothered tbh, she's a lovely lady otherwise.

So I thank her and later give her presents to other family members/friends who like it. My mum loves brandy - so that's sorted, friend loves cheese, and pretty much anybody like tea (I know I'm a weirdo). No fuss, no drama. If there really is nobody who'd appreciate the said hamper from family/friends, then foodbank is also an option (or just send it to me :D ).

Lots of people have the 'definitely don't get me xyz' chat but only remember the 'get me xyz' end of it.

I suggest that next year you politely repeat this years conversation with some more definite pointers to what you do like. I understand that the conversation didn't work this year but it's worth repeating nicely but with more of an idea of what to give you instead.

Orange Peel covered in dark chocolate

Ugh. Belongs in the bin. Peel is rubbish, not food.

Re the risotto, because I am lazy, i have a recipe for a baked risotto (I know, not really risotto). It's very good and very flexible, too.

I was going to leave this thread alone but if the candied orange peel dipped in dark chocolate is the Carluccio’s one then it is bloody gorgeous.

Fuck me- is this a Carluccio’s hamper the OP is being a snob about?

Hampers are over-rated. The excitement is in the unpacking - the contents are usually dreary/weird. Risotto rice? You're lucky - last one I had contained squid-ink pasta. Does anyone ever think, wow, squid-ink pasta, let's have that for dinner tonight!
Grit your teeth and think that if we only bought what people actually want/need, the economy would collapse.

whispers

I quite like squid ink pasta...

I might be in the minority but I’d have no problem with squid ink pasta! Why on earth wouldn’t you at least try it? I’ve not cooked it myself but I’d just google how to serve it and give it a go...

But then I have lived in Italy.

Hmm I think your parents are gaslighting 😂

I'm not a fish person at all but I do like a squid ink pasta

I find myself thinking of that scene in Dead Poets Society when one character shows another a desk set that his parents gave him for his birthday...

"It's a very fine desk set."
"They gave me the same one last year."
"Maybe they thought you needed another one."
"Maybe they weren't thinking at all."

What’s the issue with squid ink pasta?

I quite like squid ink pasta...

So do I Daisy. Is nice . . .

Belongs in the bin. Peel is rubbish, not food.

Strange remark. Most of us eat fruit peel on apples, grapes, pears, cherries, peaches, or jacket potatoes. Zest gets grated off citrus peel to flavour all sorts of things. The peel gets candied and used in fruit cakes, mincemeat, Christmas pudding. Why is it so odd to eat it in other ways?

I like squid ink pasta AND I like peel

Mmm chocolate covered orange peel, I love that.
It sounds rather good, for a hamper. Hampers are better if you make one yourself though, and tailor it to the person , because then you can edit out all the stuff they might not eat. Much cheaper too.
( I am now craving chocolate covered orange peel.)