Extremely rude and disrespectful child and Christmas!! HELP!

[teachingselfrestraint]

Dear other Parents, please don’t judge me for this one!!

I’m a Mum of two. One very sweet, polite and kind 4 year old boy with the kindest heart. And one very sour to the core 7 year old girl who is on a path of self destruction.

I don’t know how to approach Christmas when all year around we remind our young children of Santa and his expectations - be kind to others- and for one of my children, these expectations have been swung into space!

My 7 year old has the entitled teen attitude. My friends and family are scared to talk to her as she snaps back with pure brutality and has no emotions connected to the world. This is not an exaggeration (I do feel awful for her as she does has a emotional diagnosis from CAMHS and has had heavy support up until recent BUT it has been made very clear to me by professionals that she does know what she is doing at all times!)

So I’m sorry to be blunt with this but WHAT THE F**K AM I ACTUALLY MEANT TO DO ABOUT CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!!?

So far my plan is she will still receive presents from myself, family and friends, but nothing from Santa- just a letter explaining that kindness did not come from her and so he’s decided to give her present to someone less fortunate.
Family think this is ridiculous and that I should just give her nothing. But I don’t want her upset on Christmas! As much as I resent the behaviours, the phone calls from school and after school club and the endless apologies I hand out on her behalf. I would feel like the worst Mum ever to take everything from such a small girl on Christmas!!

Please help me balance this parenting struggle! What can I do?

Children aren't just for Christmas

Hi all, this is a bit of a zombie thread so we're just going to close it off to save further confusion.

Taking presents away isn't very kind, is it? So Santa isn't really following his own rules regarding presents. Personally, here FC is all about love and joy and giving is not connected to behavior atall. Same way I give without expectation. I love my DC and that is why I give to them - I don't try to control them with gifts.

What exactly is her diagnosis? She may know what she is doing but that doesn't mean she finds it impossble not to do it. A DC in her position needs even more love and understanding not harsh punishments. Do you usually punish her for her condition like this? I would look at your attitude towards her rather than trying to withold love and joy at Christmas.