I said I've had enough of hosting Christmas but they all insist...

[DuckbilledSplatterPuff]

Sorry this is a bit of rant, don't take it too seriously. I had a little tantrum on Christmas Day, saying I was fed up of doing 98% of the work. This was after 7 solid hours of cooking etc with no help whatsoever from the lazy layabouts despite repeated requests, instead they saw it as an opportunity for "Bantz" at my expense. We had unscheduled rellies the next day too. I've never felt so fed up and exhausted.
I announced that next year I just wanted to go out to Christmas lunch and they could join us (and pay) because Christmas should be about seeing people, not one person being driven frantic over the work and the expense. I was shouted down by all and next year we have 18 coming. This has been going on for 30 years and its the first time I've made a stand.
I've been told by several of them I need therapy.
Am I mad or are they?

Fuck them. Just don't do it.

They cannot MAKE you host. Go on strike. You’re not doing it and there’s nearly a whole year for them to make other plans.

Cheeky selfish gits the lot of them!

They can’t physically make you cook Xmas dinner! You’ve told them that’s it, if they don’t take you seriously and make other arrangements that’s their lookout.

Tell them they can come but you won't be there and then book somewhere else

They can go to your house, uninvited, if they insist. You don't have to be there. Look on it as a game of turkey chicken - see who blinks first. Email them the menu to your chosen pub on Sept 1 and ask for a deposit by the 15th otherwise they won't be on your table booking. Play hard!

Otherwise I'll channel my gran and say "if you always do what you always did, you'll always get why you always got."

You can say no. I'd sit on my arse and tell them they are welcome to help themselves to whatever is in the cupboard.
Nobody can make you be a doormat.

Come to mine, we had a takeaway this year- pizza gogo- and it was amazing!

Christmas is about being together and enjoying oneself, not eating dead birds and mammal flesh. I didn’t cook one thing!

@DuckbilledSplatterPuff come back-we need more info!

18 people, are these your children/ grandchildren? Siblings nieces / nephews?

I think I'd say "No we (the people who live in your house) are going out".
If your DH isn't on board then get some alternative options. You are only doing M&S dinner for x people.

When they get to your house and you are not there, and there is no food, and your phone remains unanswered, they will remember your conversation about not finding these “bantz” funny anymore, and grow the fuck up.

That sounds awful. Do make a stand. You are giving everyone 12 months notice so it is completely reasonable. Just do it - please! I think the suggestion to book a holiday abroad is a great one.

What’s your relationship with these people?
I’d actually start a WhatsApp group and put
“Further to my previous conversation with you all, I am not hosting Christmas again. You all have a good time but I hate it.
There are options

1. We go out and everyone pays for themselves and what they eat and drink, then goes back to their own homes.
2. We all celebrate separately
3. Someone else hosts.

(Insert options which suit you) I am giving you all 1 years notice. Do not expect anything from me as it will not be happening.”

Let them go to you and have no food for them.
Alternatively, tell them exactly what you'll do (say, sort out drinks). They can sort between them what to take (including the turkey or whatever is the main meal).

No, you don't have 18 coming. You're going out for Xmas lunch and they will need to let you know if they want to come too at their own expense. But after telling them this just once ignore everything else until about September.

Sorry this is a bit of rant, don't take it too seriously

If this were true you would not have been posting this and still feeling this a week and a half later.

Are your immediate family aware of how upset you are?

People host Christmas because they feel they should, nothing that is supposed to be fun should cause this much crap and anxiety for one person while everyone else does fuck all and makes fun of you.

Or tell them you'll go instead to one of their houses. Show up really early too.

Shouted down? 18 coming for next year

Well then, they have 12 months to get practicing how THEY are going to cater to it, and you for that matter. YOU will be sitting on your arse while THEY serve you.

If your immediate family complains, just sit on your arse all day. Or in bed.

Echoing every PP who has said that you need to book yourself some time away if nobody is going to step up and host in your place.

You need to follow through on your declaration.

As everyone else says, don't be a doormat.

Stand up for yourself, you do sound a bit of a martyr as if you secretly enjoy doing all this and want to see these 18 people (who are they all?). If you really mean it then accept that next Christmas might be very different ...........why not book yourself into a hotel NOW so that everyone knows you mean what you say.

More fool you then OP.

Don't do it. It's awful. And they don't appreciate it.

Get them to pay in October and then deal is booked.

Do not be a martyr and make a stand.
Book a table at your favourite restaurant or pub and that's that...
(Oh and round our way if you want a good place then bookings are taken much earlier than September - so maybe call or pop in and ask them when they open their christmas bookings)

They don't think you mean it. If you do mean it you just need to make sure that you tell them again, loud and clear, that now that Christmas is over you have decided that you will not be hosting next year.

I don't understand. Who has dictated told you 18 are coming and you are hosting them?

Tell whoever it is that it ain't happening. Do it now.