Expectations of young adult DCs

[buckingfrolicks]

When do you stop with the childhood fripperies if Christmas?

How old were your DCs when the stockings stopped and the financial value of gifts went down?

I've always spent a stupid amount lot on my DCs and support them abit financially through the year. Is 20 a reasonable age for them to accept that eg they get cash but not as much as before? ( both are earning now).

I think my parents cut down from around 16, and when we had our own children scaled back again, but I am probably a bit too old to be a good benchmark. My dh’s parents have never scaled back so I think it just depends.

I think the challenge of "boomerang kids" is that there is no norm for this

Dd is 29 and still gets a stocking. And adult dc get the same values gifts as small dc!!

Sorry to disappoint but our 6 [41 down to 19] all still get stockings as well as hampers and gifts under the tree and we seem to spend more than when they were small. However to qualify this we can afford it and we never make much of birthdays so Christmas is the big one in the reckless household.

When DS was 18 I made it clear that was the last Christmas that he’d be a child and from then on I’ve spent the same amount on him as I spend on other adults in the family so no more than £40-50 whereas Prior to that I probably would have spent £200-300

It entirely depends on what you are comfortable with, what you want to do and what you can afford. There are no rules!
DH’s family completely cut back from 16, although they are very wealthy.
My dad still spends a lot (no stockings etc though) because he enjoys it. I’m 34.

In our house you stop getting a pile of plastic junk at 13. Instead you get a Santa sack with one big present, one small present, an item of clothing/shoes, some books and stationary and something unfun but actually needed. You always get your stocking.

All my children still get this and if you include my adopted children my oldest is 40.

Well my eldest is 20'and my youngest is 12. I do the same as I ever have. No plans to stop I don't think. I can afford it and I like it and she likes it so what's the problem?

I couldn't never see myself at them turning 18 and me effectively going ' right that's it! Job done! Here's fifty quid instead.' Seems so... dunno. Mean

I'm 33, my sister is 39 and our parents still give me a few bits and some money for Christmas, but on the other hand neither of us live with them nor ask for a penny from them.

Depends really i give mine the same financially as I did as teenagers it is just once a year 1 dd is totally indeprndent buti likebuying her things I know she would like but wouldn't buy herself. I think bunging them some money is joyless

Yes i have given them bits and money but I know some people just give money.

My sister and I are both in 30s (with one baby each) and my parents still do us stockings, advent calendars and 'big' gifts. and do the same for our husbands and babies. But they are well off.
As we are now both well into our careers, we also do stockings and 'big' gifts for them.

I would expect them to stop the minute they feel they can no longer afford to do it, and wouldn't begrudge them that at all.

I'll stop stockings when they move out, I think.

Cheques will continue, and if anything get larger as neither DD is likely to have great earning power at least initially, if ever.

Both of our parents spend much more on us as adults! They know we have mortgages and bills and small children... when we were kids they were just fun presents. Sorry op 😬

I did moved out Dd presents last night they have sacks so no stockings as such but i put in a few stocking bits

When we became adults we switched to a family Secret Santa where we only buy a gift for one family member and have an agreed spend. It's great.

DH's parents still do stockings for us and I hate it, tbh. I end up with loads of tat which I ship straight to the charity shop and it just feels infantilising. I want to relate to my parents and ILs as adults now and the last thing I need in my life is more "stuff".

I still like to treat my 2 grown up DS and will be giving them cash and presents. For example the oldest has always had a wild life DVD (thank you David Attenborough) and the latest cookery book.

I think I am spending more...

A fun £60 toy has become an apple phone/laptop, a car...

I still do stockings for my DCs (all in their 30s) and now do them for their partners too. We give them more money for presents than we did when they were younger - we're lucky to have comfortable pensions and they've all got big mortgages and not much spare money to spend on themselves.

Mine are still 10 and 13, but tbh we don't spend that much more on them than we do on adult members of the family. We've never been into spending hundreds of pounds on presents! None of my extended family (either side) gives or ever gave cash as a present, even to teenage or young adult family members. Not sure when we'll stop doing stockings (and can't remember when dsis and I stopped getting them - probably late teens).

I think once they hit 18 a family secret Santa will be the way to go

My parents still spend the same on me and my sister since we were little (we are now both early 20s, high earners with our own homes and do not rely on them financially). We have told our parents we don't need such a lavish Christmas but they insist they would have it no other way. We are a very close family and do put a lot of thought into our gifts to each other.

My mum had always said once we have children of our own, they will still spend the same that they do currently but the share will go on our children too. E.g if they spent £100 on us, when we have children, that money (£100) will go towards our children's presents too.

I suppose next Christmas we will truly find out as we are expecting our first child.

We sometimes get cash off dh’s dps and it’s a wonderful gift, far more appreciated than anything they buy us because it’s the gift that allows us to make important stuff happen.
They give generously to their dc at Christmas but buy “grown up” gifts like expensive jewellery.
My dps always spent €20 to €40 on each of us (so one moderate gift) and never did stockings so no changes there.
If we can afford to in future, I’d like to give my dc cash or grown up gifts but I don’t think I’d continue doing stockings and advent calendars. No idea really though as I haven’t got there yet and none of my other child rearing plans survived contact with reality

Stockings stop when all DC stop believing. The 2 older ones are adults now, so FC doesn't leave anything for them. I spend exactly the same on all my DC, because it's not much anyway, as we can't afford it.

I still make everyone that's here for Christmas gets a stocking. I think my gifts dropped when I was about 20