Expectations of young adult DCs

[buckingfrolicks]

When do you stop with the childhood fripperies if Christmas?

How old were your DCs when the stockings stopped and the financial value of gifts went down?

I've always spent a stupid amount lot on my DCs and support them abit financially through the year. Is 20 a reasonable age for them to accept that eg they get cash but not as much as before? ( both are earning now).

I still get a stocking and I'm 36!

I still get a stocking and adore it (I’m 38 and have DH and DSs who also get them). They’ve evolved into ‘Grannny’s Boxing Day Treat’ and tend to have stuff we’ll use (mainly edible) for the adults. My DM still buys me a fairly pricy present...her pension is more than my DSis earns and she’s far from on the minimum wage. I try to suggest things at around the £30 mark and DM just spends more...although I guess it is much less than when I was younger.

When they start being cynical about Father Christmas. I tend to get them all low cost gifts at Christmas anyway. I am in my twenties as well with four children. My eldest girl is nine years old. My mom stopped doing a stocking when I turned fifteen years old.

I have cut down this year for the older 2 ( 23 And 21). Stuck at a few gifts totalling 100 each. Youngest one still gets indulged.

For twenty-something DD Christmas must include a stocking containing, for e.g. tights, sweets, macaroons, nail varnish, cosmetics etc, plus one “major” present (usually clothes). I don’t plan to change that (ie she’d hate it).

No where near the age of giving up but I've never put tat in the stocking. Just smaller presents - e.g. this year there are pick up sticks, pack of cards, lego magazine, dressmaker chalk and needles/ cotton, box of chocs, and a lot of replacements things like a new toothbrush, bubble bath, socks, pants etc- but the stocking ones have characters/ are nicer than the bog standard ones I would usually buy . When the believing stops stockings will continue - but I'm going to hand over one to be filled for me in the same vein .

My parents stopped when we were 18 and now we just get a token gift. I'm 30 now.

I was 16 and my sibling 12 when we stopped getting stockings. My parents are divorced, my dad has given me very generous Christmas presents into my 30s and my mum has spent £50 max on me since I was 16 or so (she can't afford more, my dad can).

We’ve not toned down our giving and ours are 19 & 25 , I don’t anticipate that I will in the future either . We never give money as both have plenty anyway . My parents were always on a fairly tight budget when we were children as we had a few horses which took up an enormous amount of money so I actually get bigger / better Christmas presents as an adult .

Nope. Mine are 20 and 22 and we still do them a stocking and spend about the same ( mind you it's not silly money- we have never spoilt them even though we could afford to spend a lot more)
One is a student and has a part time job and the other has a well paid full time graduate job.

They both reciprocate buying and making lovely gifts for us ( both very heavily into crafting.)

My kids are late twenties, and this year from me they get a main present value up to £50, another gift around a tenner and a box of posh chocs each. We have agreed not to go crazy as we all have things in our lives that we are saving for, and none of us wants a load of tat for gifts.

Asked my dcs after reading this thread earlier. They are fine as we are and don't feel infantilised - have 25, 23, 22 and nearly 15yo. Dd1's bf will be with us this year so he'll get a stocking too. No plastic tat though and nothing OTT. Dcs get stockings for me/dh. They haven't got loads of presents each, but a few nice things from their lists. They buy each other (and us) well thought out presents too. We can give them nice stuff - why shouldn't we? They are lovely "children".

More than acceptable.

I think once they realise how much you're spending on them it's time to cut down

my adult dcs always get stockings and a pile of presents. its how we do Christmas.

Feeling hard done by now. I haven't had a Christmas present from my mum since I was about 30 (late 40s now), never mind a stocking! I think that stopped when I was about 16.

I think once they realise how much you're spending on them it's time to cut down

Is there a particular reason for that? We only spend what we’re happy spending on our DC - we don’t go over budget or buy stuff for the sake of stuff (this year we’ve spent £70ish on each child, aged 3 and 6). I cant see why I would suddenly not want to treat the DC at Christmas provided I was financially able to do so, just because they’re not dependant any more.

I am 60 & get very generous financial gifts from my parents , I think they are trying to off load cash before they die.

We’ve always spent around the £150 figure on our DS for Christmas & birthdays and I can’t see that changing, if anything it will go up with inflation. He much prefers cash now, I did say this year ‘no more stocking presents’ but I have ended up buying him a few bits and pieces.

I think once he had properly left home / got a partner I will definitely give up stockings; I remember my DH being horrified when my DM gave us both stockings one Christmas when we were staying with her. She clearly thought it was a kind gesture but as a PP says it can be a bit infantilising for the ‘in laws’ especially.

We still get stockings in our 30's up to 50's . My parents are extremely generous and wouldn't have it any other way. I don't think it'll ever stop until they aren't here anymore. My kids think it's hilarious that granny does stockings for grown ups when Santa has the sense to stop years ago lol

My oldest became an adult in terms of presents when she left full time education at 18.

Now at 21 she gets a decent gift, more than I spend on other people but not extravagent.

She also still demands the stocking which I happily fill with stupid socks, a silly mug, sweets and the traditional magic facecloth. (she first got a magic facecloth aged 3 and spent the whole day amazed by this bit of cloth expanding in water so it has become a tradition). She will probably want a stocking for the rest of her life :)

My mum cut down when me and my brothers turned 18 and now just gets what we need or really want but don’t want to splurge on 😂 however, my MIL still spends loads and gets my DH loads and he’s 30 (not jealous or anything), but she loves Christmas and saves all year round for it and just loves spoiling everyone so I guess every parent is different

I got a stocking into my early thirties which would have been about the time my youngest sibling left Uni.

TBH 18 seems very young to cut back, at that age they must still be in education or on a very low wage. But of course that also is dependent on what the parents earn, my parents are very comfortably off even in retirement, I suspect our trigger for cutting back will be when we retire which we're not planning to do for a few decades yet.

Pretty much the minute I turned 17 (late November birthday) my mother decided I didn’t ‘need’ Christmas anymore. I got shit thereafter. Considering she loves Christmas and made a big deal of it for me as a child, it hurts.

I even asked for a stocking from her last year as I miss that, the thoughtfulness of the little somethings, so much. I didn’t get one.

Literally quite stunned at how many grown adults still let their parents do them a stocking?! Seriously?! Christ. I'd be insisting they kept their money..what a complete waste ! As soon as I hit my 20's and was earning, I received a couple of nice gifts in total and some money and I thought even that was too much. It was just lovely to have christmas lunch with them.

My lot went on 'adult rations' at 18. So the amount spent went down from the £150/200 I spent on them as children to £75-90 range. I wanted it to be lower but my 19 yr old who is at uni and not working wanted a specific item costing £90.
Once they move out permanently like my eldest, then the spend goes down even further. He and his partner shared a £50 gift voucher and I sent him a few books I knew he'd enjoy.

I still got a stocking and 'big' presents from my dm until she died ( I was early 20s). My dad just shoved a cheque in a card to be divvied up between me, dh and two kids. It works out about £20 each.

Dh always gets me a vvv big present (he's a big softie) and his parents give each of us £100, so I still do quite well. I do miss someone other than DH actually picking out a gift for me though and tbh dh just asks me to buy what I want and gives me the cash rather than picking anything out himself.