Expectations of young adult DCs

[buckingfrolicks]

When do you stop with the childhood fripperies if Christmas?

How old were your DCs when the stockings stopped and the financial value of gifts went down?

I've always spent a stupid amount lot on my DCs and support them abit financially through the year. Is 20 a reasonable age for them to accept that eg they get cash but not as much as before? ( both are earning now).

But thinking about it, I spend the same on my OH as my DD, so I don't think I'd drop that as they are the people that mean the most to me and I can afford it. I also love buying gifts for people, it's one of my most favourite things to do

I think my stocking stopped when I moved out in my 20s. Although oh mum used to do a stocking for her kids...I think because she couldn't do Xmas so this was her way of adding her own touch. I think in my 20s I had a mix of more extravagant and gifts of a certain value presents. One year my mum took me to New York. I also got money towards driving lessons. They also payed for flights to Spain when son was 1. Now I normally get a gift about £30 and some d coke.

My parents stoped when I was 16, just got a token gift or 2 from then anwards.

I have 2 teenage girls and I don’t plan on stopping 🤣

I will keep buying them gifts and doing stockings as long as they are around at Christmas.

Secret Santa sounds a good idea!

Last year I did the whole lot - stockings calendars presents galore etc and they were pretty meh about the whole thing so I'm thinking why bother! Bung em some cash and the jobs a good'un.

My ‘big’ christmases stopped when I turned 11 and my mum & dad got divorced- we went from the most amazing Christmases to next to nothing- but I was then quite neglected from that point onwards in every way, so I’m not a good yardstick to measure against- I’m finding this thread really interesting as I hadn’t thought about this with my own DC (admittedly still a few years off adulthood). I will have to ask DH how it went in his family.
Stockings are my favourite part of Christmas so I think we will continue them for anyone who is staying over in the house on Christmas Eve night.
I can imagine I would probably start to lower the (admittedly fairly high) amount I spend once they reach 21 and once they are earning their own money I would probably drop that again. We don’t spend a lot on birthdays so Christmas is our main event.

I feel like a bit of a Scrooge. We are quite low key.
Decorations, christingle. But £100's spent on food shopping!!

Don't spend a lot. On the ds's. One main present, say some expensive trainers, and a few bits. Couple of minor bits in their stocking.

All our aunts and uncles give a card with money inside and that's all my ds's seem to want.

A pp said money was joyless. I suppose it is!!

My sister and I had stockings until my ds (first grandchild) was born.
Parents have always spent around £50 on our ‘main’ present so i guess in real terms the value has gone down. They tend to give us cash now unless we ask for something specific.

My mum gradually reduced the presents from about 20-25 and then stopped stockings about then. I still get around £100 from her which is very gratefully received as despite having a well paid full time job most of my money goes on DD and I don’t get to treat myself to new clothes much.

Stockings never stop - the provider may change, but everyone gets a stocking. Mum is getting flowers bulbs, chocolates, champagne and a book. She will make up mine.
My grandmother got a stocking every year until her death at 90 (and my Mum made the majority of them).

Presents are token now. My kids presents and stockings are limited by suitcase space - basically, the presents can only occupy 1 suitcase and max 23kg.

As long as the DC are home for Christmas I’ll do a stocking for them. DH and I do one for each other, so no reason to have an arbitrary cut off for them. They’re a bit of fun that we spend £5-10 on per person.

I can’t imagine just chucking cash at them at any age. It’s never happened that way in either my family or DH’s, and we’re 29/36.

I would rather give money than an unwanted gift and I think that once DC are a certain age it is hard to buy for them. Plus it is an expensive time of the year and cash always helps.

While we can afford it we'll carrying on spending about the same as we always have.
DD18 is working but I like to buy her some luxury items. We give her gifts and vouchers, we don't give normally give money as she gets a big money gift from family.

Me and my mum create a stocking of gifts for each other and I'm in my thirties, although we are not big shoppers the rest of the year at all.

Love it.

I think it helps and is less tat-tastic if you have regular but needed items, for example I always get my mum a to do list pad, cup, socks, etc then a few unexpected treats. Kids always get a dressing gown (young enough to be growing every year to need a new one).

Yes I stopped tatt years ago I always make sure dc will use their gifts.

Stockings stopped for me when I left home. Once Father Christmas stopped filling them, my mum just filled them with whatever the smallest gifts were, so no plastic tat. But things like jewellery, sweets, chocolates, dvds or cds, I don’t think she bought things specifically for stockings. With my own DC I think I’ll do the same.

I hate receiving cash for Christmas, personally. I always think presents should be thoughtful, or luxury things you wouldn’t usually buy for yourself. Half the fun is the excitement and anticipation of what could be inside, so although cash would be useful, it’s an anticlimax.
If I’m ever stuck on what to buy someone, i tend to go for leather gloves, a nice blanket, a Christmas ornament or nice chocolates or biscuits.

While DD continues to live with us, she'll stil get a stocking as her parents have one. It doesn't have to be expensive, she'ls got things like a box of choccies, chocolate bites, handcream and a couple of small things on her xmas list. Generally we've spent the same amount on DD as we spend on eachother and that'll certainly continue while living at home and may even continue when she's left home if we've dropped the stocking.

Can’t imagine doing stockings and advent calendars for my 28 and 23 year old ds! And I can imagine what the 28 year old’s wife would say if I did
Of course I buy them presents (and for dil), but I only spend about £40 on each of them. They probably have more spare cash than I do tbh!

our dd is 13 and we are continuing all the same traditions as we had when she was tiny - stockings and presents left out as though Santa left them and we plan to continue this for many years to come.

I felt sad at the thoughts that childhood christmas ended at 11/ 12 so we decided to keep going for as long as it feels right

missyB my parents did Christmas sacks for myself and my sister until we were about 28 & 23 and we LOVED it

I met my now DH when I was 28 and that changed things I think.

Up to then they bought us jewellery, cosmetics, clothes, make-up etc and always gave us a gift voucher for our fav shop too.

Once I got married they switched to cash for us and some small wrapped stuff (nice candles etc)

we plan to do the same for dd

I think we are probably ott here ...but wouldn't know how to change after all these years. Everyone who comes on Christmas day gets a stocking here. This includes my 87 year old mother and her widowed friend. My 43 year old daughter and husband the 2 grandchildren (of course) and the 2 dogs ...my own dog and daughter's.

Grandchildren are now aged 13 and 10. The tradition which has built up since their babyhood is that I send new pyjamas to their house to unwrap xmas eve. Also new clothes from undies up to wear Christmas day.
Once here Father Christmas has come to grandma's as well as their house and they have their own sack of desired gifts and another gift bag of clothes pyjamas ect.

Adults ...it depends. This year daughter has a dress and dressing gown, money for sales and various cheapies eg. smellies, chocs, costume jewellery in stocking. Son in law has a new computer game, tickets for an event, alchohol, smellies ext.

The only shopping my husband has to do is for my Christmas stocking ...oh and the food which he does with me.

I know it is far too excessive ...but young parents struggle so much nowadays and work so hard so I like to help out and give them all a good time.

I might think it out again next year because it is more expensive now the children are older and more choosy about what they wear ...but they all love it and I have to say I love doing it.

still get a sack.but its more thought out now.ones we deff want o guess and less little bits of tatty fluff you can have fun and rubbish as kids.
I don't know whether less is spent depending on what we ask for.but its deff more dedicated spending.
my mum is amazing.and does it all bless her.which probably really isn't fair.but we do love and appreciate her for what she does for us.she really is fucking brilliant.
I always make sure my dad gets hers.
and us kids get mum and dad and eachother ones
and mum and dad get eacohother a stocking.
then we still get stuff from gran
all over 20s and love it still being how we did it as kids.
if mum needed to stop id like to think shed ask us.oh god this make me think I need to go and ask her!

I still do a stocking and one big present for the adult children. The stocking fillers are my favourite part of Christmas. As more grandchildren arrive the cost of the big presents will have to go down though.

My parents (well, my mother as she was the one who cared about it) did stockings until we were well into our 20s, and tbh by the end it was quite awkward as we had grown out of wanting bits of stationery/random tat and had to work hard to fake gratitude. In retrospect I wish she had stopped when we reached 21, graduated from university and started living independent lives.

I got my first “grown up” present at Christmas from my parents when I was 16. I was leaving home, so they got me a practical “for the house present” rather than a “just because she wants it” present.
I’m married with 2 DCs now, so all the money that they would have spent on me and my Dsis as kids now gets spent on the grandchildren.
DH and I are going on a city break in early 2019, so my parents have said they are giving us a little spending money for the trip at Christmas