Expectations of young adult DCs

[buckingfrolicks]

When do you stop with the childhood fripperies if Christmas?

How old were your DCs when the stockings stopped and the financial value of gifts went down?

I've always spent a stupid amount lot on my DCs and support them abit financially through the year. Is 20 a reasonable age for them to accept that eg they get cash but not as much as before? ( both are earning now).

Mine (20 and 22) still get a stocking even when they are on the other side of the world. We've always said you stop getting a stocking when you have someone of your own to give a stocking to.

I stopped getting a stocking at about 18, I love doing stockings for my dc.... might continue when they are past childhood 😂😂

I think Stockings are only a waste if they have tat in them. We don't do stockings here any more, but where friends do, they have things like new socks, a box of chocolates, maybe some nice soap or bubble bath - just little treats that are maybe not something you'd buy yourself or something useful but maybe one step upgraded from what you'd buy yourself. They also All have stockings, so now their kids are grown up they do their parents a stocking (together with their siblings). It seems a really nice tradition to me!

My eldest DD is 42 her sister is 36.They both get stockings. Iv helped their partners with contents because men don't seem to have much idea. Now dd2 is a single and she will still get her stocking. Me and DP also have stockings and we are both 63

Mine are 21 and 20 and we're transitioning this year. I've always done sacks with loads of stuff, a big gift, make-up, lingerie, accessories, pyjamas, clothes etc etc etc. No tat but lots spent. I can go way OTT.

This year I'm introducing stockings for everyone. The kids and DH have each been given a job (one is getting games, one books and poor student is in charge of chocs) and I'll do the rest. The DC are still getting (smaller) sacks this year but next year, when DD2 is 21, it'll just be the family stockings with a few lovely gifts.

My DP swapped to cash when I was a teenager and the ILs do cash for us and the kids too ( both sides very generous) so I will always do gifts. I love it. If boyfriends/husbands come- they'll get the same.

My mum stopped stockings and piles of presents for us at about 15/16 when we started wanting cash or more expensive items.

I dont intend to but then dh and I make a stocking for each other every year. When the children get a partner I suspect at that point I will expect them to take over for themselves.

We still do stockings and gifts. My mum does spend less on me now, which is fine and we spoil her a bit. We get money from the in-laws as they find present buying a bit stressful, which is kind of them. I would continue buying gifts and doing stockings for my DC until they asked me to stop. I love buying presents

Houseful of DC here - youngest 12, eldest 21. They all get a pile under the tree & stockings hung by the fire - DC1 would be gutted to be left out! But then DH and I also have stockings so it wouldn’t really be fair to leave one person out.

So basically I still spend as much on (adult) DC as I do on the children, but he works now and is very generous to us with gifts in return, which is lovely too.

I suppose when he has a family of his own I will scale it back a bit - or his wife/partner might think I’m a bit bonkers . But he has had me repair his 20 year old stocking a few times when it has sprung a leak, and he says he will always use that one - which I think is lovely

Having said all that, obviously as DC get older, the things they want tend to get smaller and more expensive. So to still have a nice pile, I bulk it out with practical things they need rather than a pile of tat - ie clothes, new duvet covers, floor cushions and posters for their rooms, etc.

In my family we stop getting bday and Xmas presents when you have children of yourself. My mum makes an exception for me (as I made a fuss and I'm the youngest) and I get a couple of bars of chocolate, unwrapped.
Tbh I think this is very Scrooge-like and will continue buying for my kids, even when they have some of their own, if finances allow.

2 dds and 2 dsds ages 23-18
all get stockings from santa and then presents from us
my dp and i do each other a stocking
i also now do stockings for any boyfriends who come and for my dexh and his new dp who also come to christmas
oh and both the ddogs too
( i realise that we sound very much the modern millenial family !!!)
my elderly mother does a stocking for me too..and my brother who is 59 !
we still do the panto on christmas eve and carrot for the reindeer and snowy boot prints accross the carpet...

there is outrage if i suggest changing anything at all about christmas

but each to their own...if you can afford it and want to then carry on , if youd rather bung a cheque in a card do that...i love choosing and wrapping gifts so would never ever just give money .

I think my parents cut back once we were all living independently. Anyone who wakes up in our house on Christmas morning gets a stocking though, including adults. DH's parents often put some money in our account at Christmas because 'it's an expensive time of year'.

I get more from my mum now than when I was a child. She is better off financially now, and apart of birthdays is the only time I get a gift.

I'm 39 and still get a stocking. I think my mum originally said they would stop after 21 but in the end just scaled back (so now get eg a couple of choc things, some pants, some socks, rather than a whole sack load).

They are still v generous with main presents - I wouldn't say I expect this but I really appreciate it and they enjoy it. They feel much more comfortably off now they are free of a mortgage and dependents than they did when we were kids, and me and dh don't have much spare to spend on each other and I know they genuinely like to treat us a bit now and then. Now they usually ask me what would be useful and gifts are mostly stuff for the house / garden and smellies but nicer stuff than I would / could buy myself. Just comes down to what you can afford and are comfortable with.

Stockings stopped as soon as we realised FC wasn't who we thought, so around 12. My parents only ever bought us 2/3 gifts anyway and that stayed the same.
My teens still like to get their gifts from us in their old santa red pillow cases by the fire , they don;t have stockings but that's because they never did, everything went in the pillowcase then they had a gift from us separately under the tree.

My two are 20 and 22, both currently students, and use the same named tapestry stockings that they have had ever since they were babies, which are quite small, so not difficult to fill!

This year they are filled with foodie treats, socks, toiletries, (all nicer than they would normally buy for themselves), a reusable folding stainless steel straw, a note book and a magazine related to their interests. Both have said they don't want/need any other gifts but we are going to give them each some money to use towards a holiday after they graduate (both due to finish uni this year).

I intend to keep doing stockings each year that they are home for Christmas, but they have to filled with practical things that I know they will use.

Once they are both earning, the overall value of their presents will go down.

I can’t remember when stockings stopped for me, it must have been quite young. We moved to a new house when I was 8 and I never had a stocking in that house. I stopped believing in Santa at 7 (thanks big bro) and I think the stocking might have stopped then.

I still do stockings for my teenagers. I wanted to stop last year as I find it difficult to fill a stocking for them at this awkward age but DH convinced me to carry on with stockings. This year I have stuck their stockings inside a hamper full of treat foods, smaller packets inside the stocking and the bigger packets in the box next to the stocking. I’m hoping they won’t be disappointed. My Teenagers love chocolate, biscuits, sweets, pringles etc so I am hoping this will go down okay.

They still have their other presents under the tree, just in case anyone thinks I have only bought food

We love stockings so no age cancels them. DH and I both have one. DSis and I swap stockings instead of presents. DC will continue to have one any year they spend Christmas with us.

You never stop needing the pants and socks that Father Christmas brings at whatever age.

We aren't doing stockings as the DC said they weren't interested - I said I'd do them if they produced their stockings out of wherever they have stored them in their bedrooms.

I still do stockings for my DCs who are both in their 30s. I will continue too, DCs don't have much spare cash to treat themselves with mortgages, childcare etc. I gave them both £100 cash and also a stocking of probably £25.

DH and I do stockings for each other and it is one of my favourite parts of Christmas.

@theredjellybean - I do the talcum powder footprints too. Ds is 22.

After uni, when they bring partners, earn enough to treat themselves, traditions start to change