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Original poster

Mad at DH over present he’s bought!

83 replies

mrsdaz · 17/12/2018 22:52

Our ds is 9 and has been begging for an Xbox. DH and I agreed he was too young despite his class friends having computers etc.

We set a budget and I have been really careful to buy useful presents that will be used all year (animation studio kit and the like).

DH turns up with an Xbox one stating he thinks ds9 should have it so has got it for him and his siblings to share.

Am I being unreasonable to be slightly fuming! I feel like I can’t give all the gifts I’ve already bought as they will fade into insignificance against the mighty Xbox!!

OP posts:
OhLemons · 17/12/2018 22:54

Presumably the amount of time spent on the Xbox will be limited so the other things you've bought will get used.

I would be more annoyed by him going against what you had agreed!

Perfectly1mperfect · 17/12/2018 23:01

YANBU to be mad at him going against what you agreed. He should have spoken to you and told you he was going to get the X box not just went and got it.

Your son will be happy though so I couldn't be too mad at your OH for just getting your son what he wants for Xmas.

Agree how long he can have on the Xbox per day and there will be plenty of time left for him to use the other presents that you have bought.

MrsTerryPratcett · 17/12/2018 23:04

Yeah, DH did the same with a Nintendo Switch. I can't be bothered to complain, it's sweet he wanted her to be happy even though it's a waste. I did tell him to bog off when he wanted me to return the stuff I'd bought over months of planning.

OnTrain · 17/12/2018 23:06

Yabu for thinking that your ds shouldn’t have it because it will overshadow the presents you’ve bought

winteryslippers · 17/12/2018 23:23

Make it a Boxing Day gift.
That way your thoughtful gifts will get the limelight they deserve.
X

Alanamackree · 18/12/2018 05:17

Could you hold it back so that it’s the last gift that is opened? It’s probably too big a box to be jammed up the chimney but maybe you could put it behind the curtain or something.

Newtothis2017 · 18/12/2018 05:51

Yabu. Why is what you think more important than what your oh thinks? Genuinely interested. Don't return your gifts. And give the x box last

NotyourMummynotyourmilk · 18/12/2018 06:18

Since when has 9 been to young for an X Box???

I think your DH sounds really nice and your DC will have the best Christmas. Let’s face it, the XBox is for him tooGrin

ChishandFips33 · 18/12/2018 06:24

^^ this about it being for dad!!

We have a games day on NYD - could it be saved for New Year so his other presents get some use/appreciation

sparklepops123 · 18/12/2018 06:27

100 % your dh wants to play on it

WWYDhelpplease · 18/12/2018 06:39

Make it as a family gift?

It’s not ideal he went behind your back though but it’s done now.

ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 18/12/2018 06:42

If he’s gone and bought one, I’m not sure that you really did agree together though? Because if he agreed, he wouldn’t have got one. Doing it without talking to you was unreasonable, but other than that I can’t see the issue.

Worriedmummybekind · 18/12/2018 06:45

Maybe I’m a meanie but I’d make DH take it back. You made a joint parenting decision he doesn’t get to just override that without discussion. If he really thinks your DS should have one, you can discuss that for another time. But the decision for Christmas was made so no way I’d be just accepting my DH turning up with one randomly.

LoubyLou1234 · 18/12/2018 06:46

Think it may also be dads present too however I don't think 9 is too young. I meet 4/5 year olds that have 2/3 different consoles by that age. I'm not saying that is right either but it's rare I meet children over 7/8 who haven't got access to consoles or tablets etc.

It's probably more annoying he has gone against what you agreed tho! I agree with making it a late xmas day present or even a Boxing Day surprise so it doesn't take away from what you have already bought.

NotyourMummynotyourmilk · 18/12/2018 06:50

Worriedmummybekind
How can you physically MAKE a grown man take it back to the shop. The OP and her DH clearly didn’t agree not to get one, I feel he may have just agreed to disagree.

OliviaStabler · 18/12/2018 06:56

YABU. Kids wants the presents they want, not what you think they should have. Your kid will have the best Christmas now Grin

Sooveritg · 18/12/2018 06:57

I like the idea of it being a family gift.

TheBigBangRocks · 18/12/2018 07:00

A gift should be about what the person wants so I'd have done what your DH did. Nine is not too young for a console and all his peers likely have one by now.

His children as well as yours. You make it sound like a competition in gift giving but if you choose the presents we'll they will be used. Gifts are only overshadowed I find if they weren't what the person actually wanted.

Nightwatch999 · 18/12/2018 07:01

Yes OP I think YAU. The gift is for everyone, and at 9 years old he is old enough to love the XBox.

topcat2014 · 18/12/2018 07:02

I am crap at computer games, always have been, so don't have any consoles - but would have thought the age 9 was ok for one, so long as you don't get the more aggressive games?

Sometimes delayed gratification angst can get in the way.

What's wrong with having all the presents, assuming money isn't the issue? and opening them by 7:00am

Clutterbugsmum · 18/12/2018 07:03

DH turns up with an Xbox one stating he thinks ds9 should have it so has got it for him and his siblings to share.

Will then it a family gift if it for DS and siblings to SHARE.

ChristmasFlary · 18/12/2018 07:05

l have been really careful to buy useful presents that will be used all year (animation studio kit and the like)

So gifts that you chose not what he actually wanted.

Dh is wrong to go against your agreement but equally it sounds like the gifts you chose were not what DS wanted anyway

Babygrey7 · 18/12/2018 07:06

I know what you mean, my kids did not have a console until they were 11 and 13, they must have been the oldest in their years....

They still liked (and like) other gifts too though!

Worriedmummybekind · 18/12/2018 07:08

NotyourMummynotyourmilk - lol. I’d tell him and he would, because we have an ongoing basis for our relationship that we don’t go back on things we have already agreed, unless we agree something new together. Communication and joint decision is really important to us. If DH has said he really wanted to get one originally then that is a different matter. But making major purchases without agreement is a no-no to me.

slkk · 18/12/2018 07:11

Can you save some of your gifts for his birthday?

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