It's almost Christmas in July time - Christmas Countdown 2018 part 4

[BiddyPop]

I believe it's day 190

HOW did we get past the 200 mark so fast? And only 12 Days until Christmas in July starts, for anyone who celebrates that.

Slides onto thread..
Been MIA , work
DD planning her Prom outfit/hair/nails

Keeping the guinea-pigs happy when its 28-29c

The shop in York, I think Christmas Angels?
We took the DC when they were little , it was a lovely shop, toys at the front, Christmas at the back and upstairs.

I walked up the stairs , put my hand back to my DS , and found myself holding a little hand that wasn't familiar.
DS was downstairs with Grandad, a little boy about 2-3 had followed me . Found his Mum and re-united him.

Morning! Slight rant: DS2 came in around 6, when I get up anyway, DH told him "Mummy's trying to sleep." DS2 had wet himself. DH wouldn't have done anything about it, because it's childcare, so I've really drummed it into DS2 that he always comes in to me for anything like that.

DS2's colouring in his room, I'm in bed drinking coffee. 😋

170

Did he want children? Did he tell you he wanted nothing to do with childcare before you got pregnant and was it evident straight after having children?

I'd hopefully have worked out that a bloke was useless and probably chosen not to procreate with him!

Failing that I would demand he helps or leave him. Easier to be single than fighting against useless lump!

Anyway, morning! Bloody 25 degrees in our room already. I've been melting overnight. Hard to think of anything beyond the summer right now; it's relentless!

Only DS2 is his. We had a deal before he was born, he does the housework (I have a complete mental block about it, probably partly because of the autism and partly because I was never shown how to do it, the "cleaning fairy" did it when I was at school) and I do the childcare. I'm quite happy with that, but he shouldn't tell DS2 I'm trying to sleep if he won't then help him himself.

Hi 70isalimitnotatarget

I have the same problem. With Work and the kids I keep
Dropping out

30oc here today. I’m going to die. *

Had steak and ale pie for lunch. 😋

Evening all
PSB your poor DS , your DH was wrong to turn him away , glad you do the children and he does the housework that is a great agreement!
Fluffy .....Been boiling here today we have been to see to the elderly parents and back again , not done much after that just too hot ! My DSis reckoned it was 32.4 degree C , seeing them again tomoz then DSis is doing them for 3 days to give us a break ....phew!
Have a lovely evening everyone

DS2's in bed, DD will go at 9.20. 😴

It’s not really a great agreement, I don’t think. What if, god forbid, something happened to PSB? You need two fully functioning parents else god knows what would happen if the only decent parent wasn’t capable anymore.

The heat was unreal here today, right from before 7am. Crazy weather and hotter than the forecast temps.

Bless you PSB - that must be a real drain on you emotionally.

I have pointed this out to him Fluffy, also he's talking about retiring and becoming a SAHD next year while I go out to work. He thinks that all he has to do is take them to and from school. I'll get a job that fits around school hours, because no way am I trusting him to get them to school fed, washed, in clean clothes, with PE kits or packed suppers on appropriate days, dinner money paid on the right day.

Well, I'm awake an hour later than yesterday. 😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴

It's that mental load which so many men just don't get. My DH is a very capable parent, and we share the housework, but my god he doesn't understand how much I do in my head / behind the scenes to keep the house running. When I bring it up he gets defensive! But, I'm still in a better position than you with your DH, PSB. I hope you can get through to him.

169

Another hot sweaty night. It's just so grim. And we are on holiday soon where I bet all duvets are winter weight (why do holiday places do that?). I might die!

And I have a crap memory, again probably caused by autism, so to cope with that I do everything in order, so I have a series of cues. I discussed this with my psychotherapist, I said I think people have autism wrong, we don't get distressed by things being in the wrong order, it's because it's easier to remember in the right order.

So:

Get up
Get washed and dressed
Have a coffee
Get DS2 up
Etc etc

My memory is awful and I'm NT, so far as I know!

Humans naturally like order and routine, however, so I don't think it's necessarily an autistic trait, you may have been like that without autism. Though, for you, it may be enhanced by the autism, if that makes sense? And you've built in work arounds to assist you.

I know I'm going to forget something for tomorrow, because it's sports day, they have to go in PE shorts and trainers with their house colour t-shirt. I'll probably put their bloody uniforms out, or forget DD's hairbrush or something, because it's different. Can every weekday just be a normal school day please?

I've just had a bacon baguette and a banana. 😋🍌

I put reminders in my phone for stuff like that. Keeps me on top of things!

I use on of these family organiser calendars they have a pocket at the back where all the appointment letters and other stuff can go. The stickers help things to stand out and we have a column each so we can identify potential clashes ahead of time. They recently brought in a plastic overlay so regular stuff like karate lessons and breakfast clubs get written on that and it sits on top of the weekly calendar.

We use one of those too, Woolly. I share an iPhone calendar with DH and we both use the calendar too as back up as you can't check it out of the house!).

Oh, I won't forget sports day, but the things I have to put out will be different and I'll forget something.

So, instead of:

Hairbrush
Tie
Socks
Shorts
Shirt
Deodorant

It's:

Hairbrush
Socks
PE shorts
Pokemon Go yellow team t-shirt
Deodorant

That small change will mean I have to concentrate extra hard to remember everything.

I have all the dates stored in Google calendar.

I put that kind of thing in my calendar. When I'm in Court the next day I remind myself to wear a jacket, for instance. Anything can go in a reminder!

I need to get myself out of my luddite tendancies for an electronic system for family calendar. I have a book on the kitchen counter which DH forgets to write in - although he had a laugh last week as he never told ME he'd be away, but had got DD to write it into the calendar so my "if it's not in the calendar, it's not happening" mantra was shot to pieces!!

Am shattered today after a hectic weekend and long workday (lots out so I am covering things I don't usually - and have had various queries on 1 controversial item, ugh!).

Heading for the train, and some quiet knitting I hope. I didn't manage much over the weekend (about 2"), but I did find a couple of shops selling wool while DD sailed (I only bought some in 1 shop - I bought some knives and other bits in another and almost went back to the 3rd for another ball of wool).

That's a good idea Fluffy, thanks. 😀

Picked the DC up, had duck in plum sauce for supper, DS2's drawing because his room's too light to sleep, DD will go to bed at 8.30 because she asked to go early. 😋🍗✏😴

Told you I had a shit memory; I've had years of working round how to not forget important stuff!