Poncetastic 2017

[Annwithnoe]

Since there doesn't seem to be a poncetastic thread, and to avoid confusion with thread titles, would I be out of order to start this one?

First order of business, a toast to our dearly missed Fellatio Nelson, wherever she may be and a quote from her original thread:

^
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

^

ClaireWilliams the year I was doing my Masters was the year that each DAunt and DUncle got a hand knitted scarf, each one a different pattern (10 in all!) as I needed things to pick up and be able to put down again for short breaks in between studying and reading - and I didn't always want that to be tea and a biscuit. Just some food for thought....

Ooh yes, and I do love to crochet. Having said that I am inclined to get stressed if it feels like I've got too much on lists to finish. Will have to decide. Having said no Christmas cake I do like the look of the little ones in sweet corn tins. That might distract a bit!

Little tea light houses in pound land in their Christmas range (only a few bits so far)- but they have some quite tasteful hessian sacks, and also gold or silver charger plates (is that the right word? Like big plates that go under your real plates as table decs?) - obviously all a pound each. There's also some bits in at The Range if you have one by you.

For the eco-conscious poncer, I've come across Twool today on my internet travels. Twine made from Dartmoor Twine. I'm thinking about getting some for wrapping things with

shop.twool.co.uk/just-twool/classic-twine.html

Dartmoor sheep wool, that is, not Dartmoor twine...

Can I join?..have just finished reading this thread and have already added to my crafty list;

Ponetastic wrapping (bought 60 mini bells from eBay, red&white twine and letter stamps from Amazon)
Mini Christmas cakes in tins
Townscape kilner jars
Gingerbread cake

& Have spent the morning making paper tissue snowflakes with the DC

Already made mincemeat and collected pine cones. Have already knitted DGrandma a ruffle scarf and scarves for my DC.

I have an enormous bag of pinecones, no idea what to do with them!

HairsprayBabe, Pinterest is your friend. I searched for "pinecone decorations" and here's the results Pinecone Decorations Have a lovely browse!

I'm just about to start pinecone wreaths Hairspray, already have a glue gun and bought some cheapy wire wreaths from Amazon. Will just tuck some holly on to them late November

Hello Poncers! I deeply love a bit of Christmas poncing!

I recently ordered some wooden scrabble letters from ebay and have been busy making these little hangers for on the tree, they also make nice place markings for tables.

There are a couple of ahem adult ones to for around the top of the tree, too. #naughtybrat

@HairsprayBabe last year my three year old spent ages dipping pine cones in the tub of glue then shaking them in the big glitter shakers. They looked amazing, but made loads of mess. It was fun watching people recoil in horror when the dc asked to help hand them on the various recipients Christmas trees leaving a trail of giltter behind them!

Insomniabrat love your naughty decorations!
cookiefiend we made lots of those for the in-laws one year and everyone's houses sparkled for Christmas sadly mine are a bit old now to be useful pawns in my passive aggressive Christmas giving

I’ve decided to make mincemeat this year, so have the ingredients coming tomorrow. 😁

I’m not fully poncing, but I’m also not doing too badly!

Pine cone glue gun wreath makes a nice gift dosn't it?

We are scaling back a little this year due to unemployment of my DP.

Homemade mincemeat kicks the shit out of all shop mincemeat. If you only ponce one thing, mincemeat is the thing to ponce.

The fact I then use Jus-Rol should be considered irrelevant. My own pastry is rubbish.

I have been a lurker on these threads for several years. I have sloe gin left from 2 years ago. I took my sister with me and we got carried away chatting only to realise when we got home that we had 11lb of sloes picked ! It is very yummy though!

I am crocheting mini mittens to go on the front of my Christmas cards. I am going to put chocolate coins inside and make them detachable so that the mitten can be hung on the recipients tree.

Last year I collected acorns painted the bottom half in glue then covered in glitter. They look lovely on the tree.

This year I have a cookie stamp which you can add your own message to. I am going to make edible gift tags.

I also want to make the Lakeland 3D Christmas tree. I have a large glass cloche for it to go in and think it might make a lovely centre price.

I love reading about all you idea. So thank you all for this thread.

Spring - those mittens are delicious! Love the card idea. Would you share the pattern? I'd love to add those to my to-do list.

My mince pies are the only things which get homemade pastry. Anything else is happily Jus Rol!

I love these mittens too. Brilliant idea!

Some preliminary poncing going on today. I have a day of peace with no kids and instead of doing housework I'm drinking tea, and crafting. I'm very amateur so probably not up to all your standards. I want a small tree adorned in alphabet letters so I have used tester pots of my living room paint and these wooden letters from hobbycraft. Blue ones not finished yet, but I think I'm going to dip the feet of each one in copper glitter? I have paper clips to glue to the backs as well so they can be hung on the tree.

I agree that pastry is secondary if you have HM mincemeat to put in it!

(Although I have managed the Hairy Bikers pastry with orange zest in it the past couple of years without it being dreadful - I bake rather than make pastry in general).

I've been poncing but for a new baby, as I sewed together the bits of a knitted cardigan last night, and now only have to do the next and border ribs, and sew on buttons. Baby due in 2-3 weeks, in Canada, so I need to get it done (slow postal service, and I made 0-6mth size stupidly...).

I should be back to Christmas things by the end of next week at the latest, maybe earlier.

The Ainsley pastry I do has orange zest too —if I remember to buy one—.

I wish I was a competent knitter or could crochet. As I’m not, my poncing is strictly food-based!

Glad I'm not the only mincemeat maker.

I make my pastry in the foodprocesser: perfect every time, as long as my sticky mitts hardly touch it.

I've made blackberry vodka this year, and am decanting some of it into screw-top baubles and giving them as teacher gifts. I'm going to label them with Alice-In-Wonderland style 'drink me' labels. (Free printable from Pinterest).

Here’s my mincemeat!

I love this thread, and have secretly always wanted to ponce, but never felt like I had the time, so this year I am getting organised- going to make my own Christmas cake and mince pies, for the first time ever! Deeply wishing I knew how to knit so I could pinch the idea of the little gloves with chocolate coins in them- adorable!

I made THESE MINI SOCKS a few years ago . Made flat and sewn up . Just as sweet as the little mittens .