Poncetastic 2017

[Annwithnoe]

Since there doesn't seem to be a poncetastic thread, and to avoid confusion with thread titles, would I be out of order to start this one?

First order of business, a toast to our dearly missed Fellatio Nelson, wherever she may be and a quote from her original thread:

^
"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

^

Ah. The Poncetastic thread. Yay! I love it. But am a lazy poncer. I buy in my ponce. I bought the Sarah Raven book but it went to the charity shop as it was far too much for me. I love the pictures in Nigella's however. And bought Jamie Oliver's and The Irish .country Woman's Association book on the recommendation of a thread about Xmas cookery books.

Not sure how many we are this year. We were supposed to be hosting my sis and family and my dad but I don't think they are coming now but that might change. MIL might come too. And they all stay so it's a real houseful if the do come.

We are having a Xmas drinks party mid December so house needs to be decorated by then. And I bought our tree in July. A Balsam Hill prelit one. After the Xmas of the shedding tree that was almost bald by Xmas eve I don't risk a real one.

We go all out on decorating the house. DH moans but secretly loves it.

And yes - Fellatio. Cheers m'dear!

And - Badger.

Whoop whoop, love it! I'm in!

I'm in - although for the first time in nearly 20 years I'm not hosting Christmas.

I've made mincemeat for years- first did it when it was difficult to find veggie mincemeat. I also do chutney, piccalilli and sloe gin. I crochet Christmas ornaments, and make little gift bags. Oh, and I make mini Christmas cakes and puddings. We've had a couple of major bereavements this year, so Christmas will be tough, but I love the preparations.

In a few days I'm hoping to have my shopping all but completed and I can devote myself to proper poncing until Christmas.

I have branches stored since last year that I never got round to spraying white and hanging from the ceiling with glass bauble candle holders.

I have a gloriously overgrown Rosemary bush that is going to be the basis of a fragrant wreath for the kitchen.

I may have to resign myself to spending Christmas with the outlaws but if I do I will be having a sumptuous meal on Christmas Eve or the 23rd at my poncetastic table, and yes there will be hand-made, individually filled crackers, and hand-inked place settings with teeny tiny Rosemary wreaths...

This is my happy place

Ooh. I've been wondering what I should pretend to do now pretending I'm going to do my garden is getting out of season.

Can I pretend ponce?

This is my favourite thread every year.

Badger, I wish you and DH a peaceful and wonderful Christmas together. Lots of love and good wishes to you.

I'm hosting for the first time this year as I have moved into a house with a big enough dining room and range to cater for my parents, brother, aunt, the 4 of us and possibly MIL, FIL and BILs x 2. So lots of food tips welcomed.

I have Sarah Raven's book and am adapting a suggestion in there so am getting hyacinth bulbs prepped. I am scouring charity shops and similar for coloured glass hyacinth vases too. I have a couple but need lots more.

I've booked into a local wreath making workshop which is in a village hall. They provide all materials and mince pies and mulled wine. It's a highlight of my festive year. I go with a dear friend and we both love it.

Am still deciding on other decorations. I go down the holly, cinnamon, dried out orange route usually but fancy something different. I like homemade, rustic and smelling festive if possible so any ideas for books or websites with ideas gratefully received.

Oh I've bought some basic plant pots and given them a cream base coat. Not entirely sure where I'm going with them yet but they'll be ponced up accordingly when inspiration strikes.

Ooh Sarah Raven's book is on Amazon, Used-Good copies for about £3! Just ordered it.

Thank you for then flowers, I know I've found my 'home' already!

I'm very interested in this Sarah Raven book, I keep hearing about it. I have Nigellas from the first year we were married, all stuck together with jam or icing or some other thing! I like Kirsty Allsops poncing book too.

I love the sound of finding a sloe bush, good luck with the gin! We have visitors but I've found recipes for easy/slow cooker chutneys ich I like the sound of. I'm in the local WI and I feel I'm letting the side down!

Anyone fancy sharing Pinterest boards? Here's mine.

My Christmas dinner rule is one side per seat - e.g. a table for ten has ten side dishes, though stuffing counts as does each type of potato, pigs in blankets and cranberry sauce. It means you don't have to make masses of any one thing ok, except pigs or conjure up massive dishes. It also looks really exciting.

Oh brilliant. Hello everyone. (Waves)

Last weekend said to DH I was thinking of moving table for Christmas, not yet, but in December. I got a look like

I have to remember not to mention it.

I am very proud though as DC1 (21) said on the weekend, "Mum I am so excited for Christmas and I have been thinking...."
So my work here is done. DC1 completely initiatiated into our ways.

Trying to pick a date for a wreath making evening. It was end of November last year. People came round and brought greenery and bits, someone brought wisteria vine. In the few days leading up to it I got lovely texts saying, "on walk with kids getting greenery. Shall I bring pine cones?"

Here's a pic of some of the wreaths. My mum added to hers every time she came back from a walk until it looked very homes and gardens.

I'm in. Ds and I have already made these little beauties. Plus, (very proud of this one) have been pressing fern leaves between books for 2 months to make lots of teeny weeny Christmas trees for my 'grown ups cards'

I'm a reformed 'leave it too late poncer'

Oh, and in July I pulled a traditional wooden sledge out of a skip! I had to sneak it in and hide it and have managed to convince Dh that I have always had it!

Lila you can borrow DS2.

I am probably just watching sadly as both I am early pregnant and expect to be unable to think about food shortly much less eat it, and everyone is travelling to Christmas so prep will be limited. We will have a tree though - I will have to inch my way around it to get to bed 😆

Lurking most likely for this year as DS2 is due in November, however I am making crackers and an advent calendar , have already made the Christmas chutney, and fruit will be soaking for the cake this week or next. That's probably about as poncetastic as I'll manage this year!

For whoever was asking, I make these mince pies. They always go down well!

I've made blackberry and apple jam and chilli jam so far this year. I'm making tomato chutney at the weekend. I'm waiting for a batch of scotch bonnet chillies to ripen so I can make some rocket fuel chilli jam too!

I was going to make mincemeat, but by the time I'd costed the ingredients it would've cost far too much money, so that's gone by the by!

I've chosen a few recipes from Nigella and Jamie to try at Christmas. As well as a Christmas cake cheesecake from - I think - BBC Good Food, or a similar site at least!

I'm definitely poncing more than normal this year!

averagebear I LOVE those reindeer cards - we're in the middle of school holidays here, so can get kids to do them... did you follow a "recipe", or just make it up?

Does anyone use a phone/ipad app for organising?Either just for poncing, or for everyday plus extra ponce? I'm wondering if that might be hte way to go... I'm already getting a little overwhelmed by post-its, lists, Pinterest etc etc... plus I'm stuck in bed, so would like to be able to do it online for hte minute... Thank you!

for Badger and Mr Badger... I hope you have the most peaceful season, and build a wonderful memory bank

Thanks Iborgia , I found it on Pinterest! If you search 'handprint christmas' there's loads of ideas.

Re: list making, I love a pen and paper list, it's the only way I really keep track. I made an 'uber list' a few months ago with 50 things on it- all the ideas I had pinging around for the house, things I needed to do etc, and promised myself I would tick everything off before adding anything new! I'm managed about 30 jobs out of the 50 so far. I have sneaked a few extra things onto the end mostly after reading this thread

Oh Badger, I missed your post. You sound like you're also being brave, not just your DH. for you both.

I like this handprint design as well.
Looking forward to doing all my pouncing this year .

Poncing NOT pouncing ! That makes me sound like Tigger about Christmas ...oh wait !

I'm a vicarious poncer because we never host, but I do love these threads

Oooooh the ponce thread! Count me in!

I did a ridiculously large amount of sewing in the months before December-DS was born, but there is still more to do. I need to make a round tablecloth, table mats and matching napkins. And napkin rings. Last year's napkin rings were... um... the less said the better! I have this under control.

My dearest friend - more like a sister - is leaving before Christmas to South America for thre years! I am beyond gutted, and delighted. We both adore Christmas and poncing and will really miss each other, we ponce for Christmas all year round I will today start making 10 felt things to hang on her Chilean tree, small and light enough to fit in a suitcase. 10! All different, all beyond complicated i shall post pics when i have done.

I'd like to make this for our garden. Super cute snowman.

We aren't hosting this year, so there will be only 3 of us including the 6yo and the dog. We adopted the dog last November and she already has her own stocking and a mini paw-shaped stocking to hang on the Christmas tree.

I might base my poncing this year on food, something delightful to eat over the whole Christmas period. I might make Christmas pudding flavoured ice cream

for Badger and MrBadger i wish for you a Christmas fulled with love.

Oops! Snowman: