Is my budget for the children too stingy?

[BretonStripe]

We have two dc, approaching 3 and 6. We're ok for money, plenty of savings. Have always thought £100 for Christmas is plenty, but am going to struggle this year as dc1 would love an £85 Micro scooter, to replace his battered cheap scooter (which he uses almost daily).

By the time I've bought nice pj's/onesie, pants, books, a bit of Lego and a board game etc my budget is nearly gone, so wouldn't be able to get the scooter.

I grew up fairly poor; council house, Mum struggled to pay rent/didn't have fancy things etc so think I struggle with being spendy sometimes.

What is an average Xmas budget for people who are not poor, but don't want to spend loads? (Can't understand people who have to spend £300+ on each child each year).

We're spending about £80 on DS (3), including stocking fillers. I have bargain hunted relentlessly and he's got lots of stuff. He'll also get gifts from other people.

I do spread the cost and buy when I see something good, especially for stocking fillers.

When they are little I don't see the point in buying anything other than cheap stuff for underwear and pjs - they grow so quickly!

I do take the point about essentials not being presents and we do buy what's needed when it's needed. However a scooter might be much used and loved but he can still walk to school so the essential would be good quality shoes rather than a scooter which seems more like a present.

I grew up getting 1 present at Christmas and never a big expensive thing. My parents were well off but Christmas was a religious thing for them.

Glad you've seen sense and getting the scooter

It's ok to have a budget, but when your child asks for one thing in particular that he will get a lot of use out of, and you refuse even though you can afford it, it does come across as tight.

Carrot I have to laugh at the comment about not buying expensive pjs for kids. My DS has managed to knock the knees out a pair. Lol.

Op glad you have decided to go for the scooter. I couldn't cope with tears on Christmas morning if DS got up to a pile of stuff he didn't want and the thing he had set his heart on wasn't there.
Last year we had tears because he thought his stocking at the bottom of his bed was IT, and not a Paw Patrol Pup in it (they were downstairs) took us ages to calm him down and get him downstairs.

To the poster who mentioned that the younger child won't notice they get less, thankyou for that thought - not an issue for me this year but will become one at some point.

I spend 200 on average on my three DC when I've had less ive spend about 150, me and DH spend 30-50 on each because for us we get the pleasure of seeing the kids opening their gifts.I didn't get a lot growing up for Christmas 30-50 which in the grand scheme isn't a lot. It was hard when other kids had the latest clothes and gadgets so personally for me I like to treat them once a year. I don't think that makes me a bad person. I don't judge others how much they spend but i think pjs shouldn't be counted in the money and be separate as another wrap up presents, primark have some fab ones I got 6 pairs for 25pounds.

Op I always think dc gives us time to come to terms with our own childhoods and the good and bad bits. Whilst I am sure you loved your xmas - ( as I did mine which were also very lean much of the time, ) I do not want to replicate this for my DC.

What happened to you and who you are are totally different to your own dc.

I would get the scooter and some other fun stuff if you can afford it.Maybe for next year save for xmas - which has no impact on your other savings so you feel less guilty spending?

This is what we have done, so what we have is what we have, saved through the year. This year we have just over £600 - that came from all sorts of places, a tenner each month, some money we were given from last xmas, DH gets a small bonus, some of that, etc etc, selling on ebay.

From that £600 we have also brought tickets to see santa, disney on ice etc....
It may be a better way to do it then you can buy what you want and if you have left over put it by for next year.

re scooter check out this site too - de rollenshop its where I and many MN got our scooters - even with postage it was about 20 pounds cheaper than uk shops. ( I have got much more second hand stuff in the past too so I am happy to spend a little more now)

, and not a Paw Patrol Pup in it (they were downstairs) took us ages to calm him down and get him downstairs.

^^ couldnt help but smile at this - you poor thing I can imagine the pain of it

Interesting some of you mention generous GP's; both my parents are dead, and the inlaws are...err...frugal shall we say (but super kind and helpful so I don't care) so no "big" presents from anywhere else

same here its all down to us, so we make more effort, if we had generous aunts and uncles then yes we would get ours less but we dont.

As pp said - we do wait for xmas and bdays to replenish games, board games card games etc, big things like scooters and bikes, we wait.

I would have loved a kenwood chef as a present! But we tend not to buy for ourselves at the moment it all goes on the DC, how much is a kenwood chef worth> i would rather than money go to the dc and give them the best xmas we can. Ours are not spoilt because they dont get much all year.

and not a Paw Patrol Pup in it (they were downstairs) took us ages to calm him down and get him downstairs

I was thinking similar about my just 3 year old DD the other day! All she's asked Father Christmas for is a My Little Pony and I think if she opens her stocking and there isn't one in there she'll be distraught! So I've bought a tiny one to go in her stocking to appease her until she gets downstairs

I find these posts are pointless without knowing how much people spend on their kids throughout the year. Those I know that have more modest Christmas budgets buy their kids random new things all year long. I never buy things like science kits, new books or toys apart from birthdays and Christmas but so far my children have summer birthdays, so if I see something I put it aside for a few months. If birthdays were more spread out I'd probably treat them to the odd new thing such as books/toys on offer as and when and get less at Christmas.

My budget is around £200 per child and that does not include the Christmas Eve pjs and stockings.

So I've bought a tiny one to go in her stocking to appease her until she gets downstairs

grin] otherwise there will be hell to pay on xmas morning

shemozzle I agree the most stingy xmas person I know is actually hugely wealthy and kids are up to eyeballs in latest tech - bikes, all year round. But she prides herself on her restraint at xmas....some strange internal wrangling there.....having said that kids are lovely and not spoilt.

I agree, I've been on loads of threads here where it's gets competitively stngy and then when you ask if their child has a bike, or an ipad etc. It goes strangely quiet....

Yes there will be children without expensive items and people should never spend more than they can afford and Christmas isn't all about the gifts, but sometimes it's nice just to spend money on things that bring people joy even if you think they are a piece of crap.

Loads of people still live with the misery of never having received a cherished item (Mr Frosty).

Loads of people still live with the misery of never having received a cherished item (Mr Frosty)

Me me me!

SIL said she was going to buy DD1 the Olaf slushy maker. I nearly told her not to, then remembered how disappointed I was not to get Mr Frosty as a child!

Yes wanker or the " we would never spend x on ds having an xbox I feel its disgraceful to spend x much on a child at xmas, we give him some wood to wittle a gift for africa with. After all there is the family xbox, ipad, ps4, echo to play with"

:o I should have added that I bet loads of parents could have afforded Mr Frosty but chose not to buy it either because they couldn't afford it (absolutely fine), because they thought it was crap (which it was) or some because they thought it was over budget or were teaching their child a lesson about not getting what you want to make them better people.

It's equally a lesson that sometimes in life you can get what you want - especially if you've been good.

...and yes of course, the "family" tech. My DS2 is a lovely polite teenager who happens to have every game console known to man. My DS1 is the same and is sitting with a gaming PC set up that is probably worth more than my car. I don't grudge a penny of the money i've spent or the money they've saved from the pocket money I've given them.

They are my children, I choose to buy them things I can afford rather than spend the money on myself, so shoot me.

I know what you mean about Mr Frosty.

My equivalent was the cake cooking oven in the 70s. DM would not buy it.

When dd was 4/5 I bought the pink microwave equivalent. It was rubbish and it was used once and I believe it it still residing in the loft since 1997

Surely you buy him the scooter and since when are pants a Christmas gift???

It is true some kids do get stuff all year round which like many others I do try to avoid a constant drip of toys into the house. However with 10 months from birthday to Christmas sometimes it is nice to buy the odd book even for my sanity.

Mr Frosty - he was a want but somehow he never made it to the top of my Christmas list. I'm sure my parents probably saw it as tat and tried to talk me out of it going on my list. That said i don't actually remember writing a list only telling people (& Santa) what I wanted.

Mr Frosty was never on my list. There were 3 things I wanted but never got. No1. Proper Highland dancing shoes instead of slipperettes bought from the post office. No 2. A plastic shopping trolly filled with fake food (I was always told I was too big for it - I probably was, both in height and age) and No3. A bike. We had one bike (no gears or brakes) that we all (7 of us) shared. Always dreamed of a shiny new one, my parents could never have afforded that. i bought myself one when I started working full time but it really wasn't the same.

When DSs (now teenagers) can be persuaded to write lists, they usually get what is on them. (Apart from the year DS1 wanted some kind of radioactive material as he was designing a nuclear powered machine of some sort - he was around 10 at the time - he did write next to it that google shopping didn't seem to come up with any suppliers so it may be difficult for Santa to obtain...:o)

Each to they're own!

I never got alot when I was growing up and my parents could afford it but I did appreciate what I got,but it wasn't great going back to school when nearly all of my friends had lots more than I'd got and they came from familys with less money than mine.

Each of ours get well over £300 spent on them and we have 5DC,but they appreciate everything they get,they all save up and buy for one another at Christmas and they buy something for me and they're Dad and they buy presents for they're closest friends,they don't have to but they like buying presents for other people as much as they like receiving them.

Both my husband & I are full time students, so money is what comes from there, iv spent about £1000 on gifts for 20 people, including dsd, its taken me 3 days of wrapping to realise dsd has a massive pile that is shameful but iv scoured everywhere to get the best deals & im slowly realising that yes she is spoiled horrendously but why should I not? She also gets xmas with her mum, 3 sets of gp one of which spends £100+ on each grandchild.... Buy the scooter & enjoy the day, some people like to be frugal, others overspend as long as the child is grateful & happy for everything why worry?

Personally I don't really budget. They have their stocking stuff (£50-60 quid?) And presents from me under the tree. My presents are limited to max of 3 as any more and it's too much stuff. If they need a big thing (bike etc) they get one, other wise it's 3 carefully chosen cheaper special gifts. If that comes to not a lot I put a bit in their savings acounts too.
So they might get anything (valuewise) from £100- £300. I don't get them stuff for the sake of it.

I agree Korma. Very weird. Just buy him the scooter OP. You say yourself it's what he really wants and he'll use it every day so I'm failing to see the dilemma.

Oh and pants really aren't a present.

Well.... In the interests of balance....and I don't especially want to get flamed but probably will .... We have spent about £350 each on our kids (aged 6 and almost 10).

They also get gifts from grandparents and 3 sets of aunties and uncles . £50 each from both sets of grandparents for example.

However, they don't get anything like as much for their birthday and tend to have a party or birthday day out as their main 'gift'. We also don't buy toys or computer games etc throughout the year.

Incidentally, we also give a LOT of our time to charity and also donate frequently and more so at Christmas.

I'm a sahm and dh works so he 'earns the money' and I spend it

Oh and top of their lists aren't Cartier watches and wads of cash but rather a skipping rope, a doll with long hair, some Pokemon cards and a new chapter book.