Is my budget for the children too stingy?

[BretonStripe]

We have two dc, approaching 3 and 6. We're ok for money, plenty of savings. Have always thought £100 for Christmas is plenty, but am going to struggle this year as dc1 would love an £85 Micro scooter, to replace his battered cheap scooter (which he uses almost daily).

By the time I've bought nice pj's/onesie, pants, books, a bit of Lego and a board game etc my budget is nearly gone, so wouldn't be able to get the scooter.

I grew up fairly poor; council house, Mum struggled to pay rent/didn't have fancy things etc so think I struggle with being spendy sometimes.

What is an average Xmas budget for people who are not poor, but don't want to spend loads? (Can't understand people who have to spend £300+ on each child each year).

I would buy the micro scooter. My four year old has one and it is great. I don't agree with buying pjs/vests/pants as part of their Santa presents. Fair enough if your DC was in a shop and absolutely wanted a certain character top etc, then maybe I'd include it as he had picked it out himself and you know he actually wanted it. Did he pick out M&S pjs, somehow I doubt it.

A friend of mine buys her child a new toothbrush, pjs and school supplies every year from Santa. He is her only child and they are not badly off. I think it is very mean.

One poster mentioned spending 20 pounds on her four year old even though she can afford more. I'm at a loss as to she can do this as one toy is 30+ My four year old is asking for three toys (my rule). She has asked for two toys 60+ each and something that costs less then 10 pounds. My point is she doesn't have any idea of what constitutes a 'big' or 'small' toy.

A micro scooter is a great present and well put together product. A razor scooter is not nearly as good and you will find yourself buying cheap twice or three times.
Just buy the scooter. Christmas is meant to have a bit of magic.

I thought I'd been careful with DS (2) but have spent around £250 after just adding it up which I think is quite a lot. I don't have a 'budget' but I do really like to think about what they would really like (within reason). A big part of that total is an activity table which will be used by both of them for years and train set parts which he plays with every day.

DD (9mo) £40, but she's not really had any new toys etc. I'm sure in the future things will even out but we probably spent around the same on DS at that age. I spent more on my DSC than my own child due to their ages and the stuff they wanted.

I can't imagine I'll spend as much in future years.

I've noticed recently more people are talking about making Christmas Eve boxes. An early Christmas gift full of stuff like a new housecoat, pjs, slippers, DVD and other random things. I had mixed feelings about that - on one hand I thought, oh that's sweet, but on the other hand I worried that these things may become a social norm, where people are pressured into buying extra gifts for another day of the year.

We often have a budget, but then breach the budget entirely because we look at the things that we thought were an acceptable amount of presents, and think 'Is that enough for the kids to open on Christmas Day.' I suppose we subconsciously compare our kids gifts, to what we think other people are buying for their kids, because you don't want to feel like a stingy parent.

Something like a scooter, that he's already proved will get tons of use, is absolutely worth going over budget for.

I do get essentials for Christmas presents. Stuff like socks are character ones, when during the year if they need new ones they'll just be Primark cheapies. And this year, duvet covers. DD's been using the same sets for 6 years, she's 9. DS just got too big for his old cotbed duvet so I got them both a new cheap single duvet, we've been using the old covers but I've put away a new cover each that I am SO excited to see them open. Spent ages choosing based on their interests (not character/brand ones as I figured they might outgrow them quicker!). I think I might do it on Christmas Eve (they always get pyjamas then too - nicked that tradition from here!), I know they'll love them whenever they get them but they still remember what Santa brought several years ago and I just think it'll be a nice memory for them, snuggling down after hanging up their stockings, more special than them just arriving in an Amazon box on a random day. Whereas if we had more money to buy bedding as and when, it probably wouldn't be an exciting present.

That ended up long sorry

I'd bust the budget.
My budget is around £150 but I always seem to bust it when I sit down and add up what I have spent.

No I get what you mean P00p - thinking about this more than usual as I lost my job through illness this year, and our rent is going up 1st Jan. I agree there's more pressure. I have to say a lot of that came from school. We were very much the poor family TBH and the contrast was massive between us and the kids who were getting iphones etc. Compared to now - DD's been home ed for nearly 2 years now and the peer pressure just isn't there in the (huge) HE community around here.

TV advertising has a lot to answer for. But then, it's there to sell stuff.

Re: the Christmas Eve boxes. When I read about the whole PJs on Christmas Eve thing on a forum - must've been 10ish years ago - it was just that. PJs. They sweetened the deal of having to go to sleep, and they looked all fresh for Christmas morning photos. It certainly seems to have increased massively since.

The main thing here is always pyjamas. They get so excited (again like socks etc it's character stuff when normally we stick to cheaper sets) and it's very special to them. Sometimes other things arrive at the same time - but it's always something they would've got anyway on Christmas day. It just spreads it out a bit I suppose and it's something to mark bedtime as it's something we can all do together. Last year it was a Roald Dahl jigsaw, the year before it was the Jolly Christmas Postman book. Not sure this year though as DH has changed jobs and will probably not be home til 11pm.

Your budget is too stingy as there is no particular reason for the budget constraint you've imposed and it doesn't stretch to the very modest set of presents you want to buy for your child.

Just wanted to say yes get the scooter! The micro scooter ranges are great, very sturdy and keep their value so you can resell it when he outgrows it so while it's going over budget this year it has resale value for future,whereas PJs don't :)

I agree with mysteryfairy

Do you need to set a budget? I don't mean spend as much as you can but just get them what you think they'd like - sometime that'll be a bit more and sometimes less? I tend get a 'big' pressie - the thing they've asked for for ages then a few books, little toys and games. Big pressie could be a bike or a tablet or a big happyland or marble run! So big present in itself can be anything from £40 to £200. Obviously not too price every year. But I don't make up to cost to a budget with other pressies or to match what the other one had spent on them. At this age at least, they don't notice.

Is there any way of spending what's left over from the younger child? If your budget is set could that work?

Rustythedog not hard to spend only £20 for a 4yo. Lego rapunzel tower in exactly £20. Makes a nice present for a 4yo I would think.

headdreamer that's fine if you are only buying 1 present , I've only ever met one person who gave their child a single present , and she was very strange

"I grew up fairly poor; council house, Mum struggled to pay rent/didn't have fancy things etc so think I struggle with being spendy sometimes."

Breton I understand this. I grew up similarly and am exactly the same. Actually spending money makes me feel a bit anxious and out of control- I wonder if its the same for you?

I think, in this situation where (to summerise):

1. You have identified something DC would like
2. And would use everyday
3. And you've already decided you prefer to buy quality
4. And you can afford it

You might be being just a little bit too rigid about the "budget". Maybe for your own not completely rational reasons?

Sod the underpants and the board game and get the kid the scooter! I think you know that you would like to!

Off the point a little: But at 6, is he maybe on the cusp of growing out of scooters? Spend even more and invest in a bike?

We try to buy a
Main present (DS is getting a tablet but not and expensive one, not sure about DD yet) and then Lego, some bits like my little pony or Spider-Man and a stocking with pencils, books, sweets etc. I reckon we spend about £200 each max.
FWIW I didn't like my childhood for different reasons to you but i try to ensure I do the opposite for my kids if I can. Not that your family being careful with money when you're a child is a bad thing, but I can't see that paying a bit more so he can get a scooter plus get some other less expensive toys too is a problem, I'm sure you could do this for say £150 each?!

Mine are late teens and I've spent £500 each this year...£300 each in cash and then gifts and stockings.
They don't get gifts from any one else apart from ex, and he is a tightwad.
I can afford it...I don't have to budget for it and they will use the money for their solo holidays next year.

I wouldn't stick to a very tight budget if I could afford not to and there was something my child really wanted, unless I thought we were spoiling her. So in this case I would buy the scooter, as it sounds like the things you bought - while lovely - cost a bit more than they needed to because you wanted to pay for quality. Good quality pyjamas are great but they're not really a thrilling Christmas present. A kid wouldn't notice if you spent a fiver on a cheap pair of Crimbo pjs and put the other tenner towards something fun!

Your budget is too stingy as there is no particular reason for the budget constraint you've imposed and it doesn't stretch to the very modest set of presents you want to buy for your child.. This. There is no reason for not buying the scooter that your child wants, other than your own unnecessary budget. Eating into a Christmas budget for pyjamas is a bit weird if you ask me, surely you can just have the £15 worth of pyjamas as a non Christmas present? The idea that you don't want Christmas to be all about presents will be lost on your young child. A gift is a gift to him and he won't know of you have spent £75 or £7.50.

Sorry but I think you are being mean, trying to teach your child some sort of lesson for no reason other than a figure you plucked out of thin air one day!

I don't spend equal amounts on mine, I get them what they want.

Woah, fell asleep last night after my 22.36 post. Will catch up later after school run...thanks for all the replies!

We used to aim for £50 but that excluded the pants, socks, PJs, books and stocking fillers. I don't count the stuff I would buy anyway but they like getting it for Christmas. It's more some years now as they are getting older (oldest is 10). This year, we'll spend about that but have also bought a console and extra controller between them. We can afford to spend more but they have plenty.

I'd buy the scooter too, Christmas for children is supposed to be about magic.

We don't add pjs, pants, toothbrushes, duvets, family games etc as we would buy those as and when needed. I'd not be overly impressed with a new toothbrush or pants for Christmas as they are essentials and not a gift.

I don't really understand the obsession with exact expenditure as a point of principle (rather than sticking to a budget because it is what you can afford).

It seems to be a particularly futile point if you seek out deals or buy lower quality purely to keep within budget but still buy the same amount of 'stuff'. So advice to scrimp on primark PJs etc is pointless - a 6yo will not know or care their PJs cost less than an M&S pair, they'll just see they've got new PJs.

I've not kept track of expenditure at all but am just keeping tack of the amount of 'stuff' and whether it is a 'big' present or a 'small' present and how excited DC are likely to be - that's how they'll judge their presents, not whether it cost me £50 or £150.

Obviously if affording the presents is the main concern it's different.