Is my budget for the children too stingy?

[BretonStripe]

We have two dc, approaching 3 and 6. We're ok for money, plenty of savings. Have always thought £100 for Christmas is plenty, but am going to struggle this year as dc1 would love an £85 Micro scooter, to replace his battered cheap scooter (which he uses almost daily).

By the time I've bought nice pj's/onesie, pants, books, a bit of Lego and a board game etc my budget is nearly gone, so wouldn't be able to get the scooter.

I grew up fairly poor; council house, Mum struggled to pay rent/didn't have fancy things etc so think I struggle with being spendy sometimes.

What is an average Xmas budget for people who are not poor, but don't want to spend loads? (Can't understand people who have to spend £300+ on each child each year).

Ok first off it is absolutely not stingy to be on s tight budget and to stick to an amount for Christmas. It is sensible and loving as a stable roof over your child's head is worth more than any amount of shiny presents.

However having got that out of the way OP that's not the case for you and when your child has asked for one easily affordable for you item which actually means you'd only spend what £20-30 more than usual why the uncertainty? What lesson are you trying to teach him?

What do you think the moral benefit of spending £100 rather than £125 say on him will be?

(Get him the bloody scooter)

Could you perhaps think of the £100 as a guideline rather than a set amount? There are always going to be years when they want/ need something quite expensive and sometimes it is worth paying out for better things (especially scooters!) to save constantly replacing them.

We think along the lines of £100 per child, but this year, DS1 (4) wanted a castle and knights. After lots of research (& helpful advise on here) we decided to go for Papo Knights which are quite pricey. We ended up at about £90 for the castle and accesories but it didn't look much, so we agreed on another couple of bits and spent about £120. DS2 (1) didn't need much, so we've spent less than £100. Next year, though, he'll probably get a scooter so will most probably have a bit more spent on him.

Meant to say, though, £100 is not stingy

Floralnoma well not everyone has the same idea surely? And the child doesn't know how much a present cost. Also you don't know how much the child gets outside of Christmas.

DC are getting one present each from us. It is more than £20 but they don't know the price. Like I said before they are getting bikes and scooters outside of Christmas. DC1 will be getting a new micro sprite sometime next year. They have islabikes and 5yo has a tablet. Non of that are Christmas or birthday presents. Not everyone buy big things only for Christmas. I will never get a laptop or Xbox for Christmas for example. Laptop is for homework. An Xbox is shared among siblings.

I don't buy mine anything after about September (although we only do toys at Christmas and Birthdays anyway) and then bulk out the gifts with things they need. So they will both have new trainers for Christmas plus a couple of hoodies and a couple of pairs of jeans, along with character socks and pants. It will help to make their piles look bigger since they shrink as they get older and the things they want tend to be small like PS4 games and memory sticks rather than bulky things like toy garages/farms

We do a basket on Christmas Eve, it contains mostly things we bring out every year like the Night Before Christmas book, a Christmas DVD (not necessarily new, but just held back till then), mugs and hot chocolate from the kitchen, bubble bath, magic oats for the reindeer, and one new thing. Last year it was pyjamas because they needed them, this year it is flashing character toothbrushes. So it depends how you approach these things; for us it is just a ritual before bed to wind down, and presenting a lot of old things as exciting, not really an occasion to buy lots of extra stuff.

Well I mean one big present! I think some say one thing means one big one and exclude the stocking etc.

I do think you should get the scooter.

I think that if your dc had expressed no specific wish and you were just buying general surprise type presents, then your budget would be okay, given the ages of your dc. But your ds really wants a specific thing and if you can afford it, I think you should buy it. Otherwise uou are just spending the money on stuff he doesn't really want.

Mine are 3 and 1 and approx budget is about the same as yours. However this year we've gone over it for DD1 as we've bought her a bike and other bits and bobs, so she's had about £150.
I don't feel the need to spend exactly the same on each child at this age. DD2 will get a micro scooter for her birthday in July so it will even out.
BTW I'd definitely recommend the micro scooters, they're great.

And yes, we could afford to buy them a lot more but I don't want present overload on Christmas Day. They've got plenty already.

YYY to what RJnomore1 said.

There's no reason to be so stingy if you can afford it. What's the point?

He's six.

I think it all depends. For us we have DS. Beyond what we get him he gets a token gift from an elderly aunt. Usually a selection box or may be £5 in a card. We don't have gifts coming in from grandparents and other family members so yes, we spend quite a bit. DS gets gifts from Santa and from us.

^^ completely agree

That was to Rj I hadn't refreshed the page

I think its whatever you can afford, I've known some people get loans out for Christmas which is madness (in my opinion anyway).
We have 3 children and they get £100 from us and around £40 from DH's mum and dad, and a present from my mum and stepdad. I know its probably not as much as some people give there children and if I was better off financially I'm pretty sure I would give them more, everything seems to have got so much more expensive. They are happy with what they get though.

We never spend as much as £100 on each dc (8 and 11). We are reasonably comfortable financially, but don't see that as in any way stingy. To us, it's just the normal amount we'd spend (£50 - £60). The dc are always thrilled with their presents, have a fab Christmas and get presents from other relatives anyway. I can understand people buying huge presents if they are genuinely loaded, but I think it's stupid when people over-stretch themselves financially, particularly when their dc would probably have always been happy with a bit less if they hadn't been used to having a massive pile of barely afforded expensive presents.

If you can afford it get the scooter. Blowing the budget a little for once won't matter. Your ds won't know what it cost but you will both benefit from a well made, safe scooter which is used almost daily.

I've just bought dd who is an adult new pyjamas for Christmas.

I think sleepwear is fine and Dn is getting some for his birthday at age 4.

Our budget is 45 per child give or take. They all write a little list (apart from 3 year old who will be happy with a balloon and some crayons if we couldn't find anything )for example one would like a ds game and a musical instrument obviously being older knows no chance of new one within budget but more than happy for me to scour ebay etc. We also her a joint present for all of them to share sometimes big (wii) sometimes small (board game) oh and they always have xmas socks.
I think it's fine to spend what you can afford and can't really get worked up about others spending or judging mine.

Mine are teens, but I don't have the same budget each year. For example last year they had £50 of dollars for holiday spends. ( but they had larger birthday gifts)

This year they had smaller birthday gifts, but ds wants a mountain bike, so Dd is getting cash equivalent ( ready to squirrel away for uni) about £200, plus stockings.

My 9 year DD gets nothing outside of Christmases and birthdays, other than the necessary clothes and shoes she needs as a growing child. Generally speaking birthdays include one big gift (bike, trampoline, keyboard, etc.) and a couple of smaller items from me.

Christmas on the other hand is always a bit of a blow out affair with a big, magical mound of gifts beneath the tree. I've done amazingly well with the sales this year so I've spent nowhere near DD's budget amount, though the actual cost of everything would take me well over! It's been an odd year as she hasn't really asked for anything big or expensive. So she has lots of books, dolls, craft sets, a cheap telescope, a nerf bow and some Lego. Think the most originally expensive items have been a fire tablet (£30 Black Friday deal) and a fire tv stick (£13.47 Black Friday deal/club card vouchers). She has a lot to open. If I've spent £200 I'll be amazed.

Everyone has different set ups OP. Another poster highlighted that they don't keep things like bikes or scooters for birthdays or Christmases and buy as and when needed. I could personally never afford to drop the money for a bike randomly during the year. I save and put money aside throughout the year to cover gifts for occasions. Again, it's personal preference but I don't want to teach my DD that such a huge present like that can just be bought whenever she wants. DD fully understand the cost of things and realises these occasions are her chance at a big treat. That's our way of doing things - some might think the same, a lot won't

Spend what you're comfortable spending. You can't go wrong that way.

OP said the scooter would be handed down to a younger sibling after, so I reckon only about 2/3 of the price is "his".
Otherwise if you spend the same on both children dc2 gets all the hand me downs PLUS the same value new stuff as dc1 which is really not fair.

Wow, thanks so much for all your responses. On phone and busy day ahead, so apologies if I don't reply to everyone/answer all questions.

We're definitely getting the scooter now! Like I said, we don't have any financial worries (plenty of savings, never buy anything on credit, don't own credit cards).

I think the whole "being obsessed with a budget" thing stems from my childhood, and still thinking that, actually, £100 on a 5yo is a lot of money. We are natural savers not spenders, but this thread has taught me to relax and enjoy the money now, whilst the kids are little.

Will heed the advice that it all works out over the years, so not to panic if I don't spend roughly the same on them. Agree that as long as the piles of gifts look similar, the kids won't know how much has been spent.

Disagree pants, socks and bubble bath can't be gifts! They'll definitely be going in the stockings, just to bulk everything out and make dc realise not every gift has to be a "wow" gift (want them to appreciate the little things, too).

Whoever said spoiling a child takes a lot more than spending a lot at Christmas is right.

Oh, the kids both have January birthdays so if they get money or vouchers then, we take them shopping in Spring to spend them. That way it spreads it out a little. Don't really get other toys or gifts throughout the year.

Ds1 was recently given his cousin's old (but immaculate) bike, so he's good there. Thanks for the reassurance on the Micro purchase - cannot wait to see his face!! I guess the Christmas smileys will be released tomorrow?!

I like your thinking Museum! Always felt a bit bad about his clothes and toys bring 99% hand-me-downs but won't any more (we tend to put money in his savings account when he doesn't need anything).