Poncetastic 2016

[WaitingForEgg]

Ok this thread may commence from midnight in honour of Fellatio. I sadly abandoned last years mid run due to pre-eclampsia and early birth of my December baby and therefore fully intend to throw myself fully into this years festivities:

"OK, first of all, I know it's still September by we need to start this thread now because as you all know, having a truly Poncetastic Christmas involves precision planning, strategy, bravery, heroics, and frequently martyrdom. A bit like the war in Afghanistan, only with nicer food and sparkly shoes.

So, if you, like me, actually want to make the next twelve weeks of your life a misery by hand-crafting your cards, finding a huge bucket for Nigella's turkey in brine, pickling pears, shrivelling oranges in a low oven for those rustic au naturel decorations, dragging half a holly bush back from the woods, and just generally being a smug annoying jobsworth ponce, join me on this thread.

Feel free to post photos of previous tree-trimming, cake icing or table centrepiece triumphs, discuss this year's bauble colour themes, debate the merits of Delia versus Gordon, road-test a selection of canapes and cocktails, (all in the line of duty) and link to lovely inspirational photos/craft ideas for a truly Poncetastic Christmas.

Warning: If your idea of a good Christmas involves Pizza, ITV, gravy granules or anything with 'Aunt Bessies' on the packet, this is not the thread for you".

Let's surpass all poncestastic pasts please

Tit!!

My Pintrest Board

My Pinterest Christmas board here.

Note to self - need to buy some candles.

There's a good deal of other stuff on this one, but I probably have some Christmas poncing here too.

This is my Pinterest board but its not particularly poncy

I'm currently felting some polar bears for a display, unfortunately, they don't look much like polar bears at the moment! Ho hum

Oh no, I'm late! We're 7 pages in already! I'll have missed something crucial!

I do a chocolate-orange biscuit cake in a pudding bowl and top it with white chocolate modelling paste (basically White choc and honey but I substitute maple syrup) to look like icing, and some coloured red and green to make the holly. Very well received.

In the past I've served pavlova, dusted in icing sugar, with lots of red massive carbon footprint imported strawberries, raspberries and red currents which looked very Christmassy and had the benefit of being a very easy dessert to throw together.

I'm not planning on poncing too much this year, as I've got a big workload over the next three months and need a quiet year, but I'm following this thread for vicarious poncing

Pre-DD I used to go all out on specially designed wrapping themes, handmade cards, wreath-making and present-making of all sorts. This year I'm dialling it back on the family presents, and have got pretty much everything already, and wrapped it, and boxed it up for the next opportunity to send it home via a passing relative (most of my family live the other side of the country). But I plan to enjoy myself decorating and generally poncing in a low-key way with DH and DD this year May do some crafty decoration-making with DD for nursery presents....

I'm really looking forward to keeping up with this thread and also to buying and reading all the Christmas magazines when they come out

Amy that sounds amazing- do you have a link to the recipe? I am going to do bramble gin and also have a stash of rose hip and crab apples that are almost ready to harvest.

I have followed some of you- here is my Pinterest Christmas board if anyone fancies a peak...

christmas

We often make a chocolate orange tart at Christmas- it is this Rachel Allen recipie for Easter tart we use and just substitute the chocolate with chocolate orange (and omit the mini Easter eggs as decoration!)

It is lovely and chocolate orange flavour reminds me of Christmas. This is the only version of the recipie I can find online- in the book she has a separate page with pastry recipies on it- just a standard shortcrust pastry..

chocolate tart

cookiefiend I'm a wing-it-and-hope-for-the-best cook. The choc biscuit cake is just milk chocolate with Terry's chocolate orange making up about a quarter of the total, melted and mixed with double cream (I'd sub condensed milk if it wasn't going to be eaten straight away) until it feels right. That's not really much help, is it? Then mixed with rich tea/digestive or ginger nut biscuit pieces.
The modelling chocolate is even more vague because it's very temperamental and you can end up with the fat separating out and it becoming very greasy. I use about 100g White choc and a tbsp of maple syrup or golden syrup. Let melted choc cool and bring syrup to room temp before mixing. Then allow mix to cool for several hours before using. Don't over handle but it's worth the faff because it is so much tastier than fondant which us what everyone expects to taste.

The choc balance can be adjusted to taste. You might use more dark chocolate if using condensed milk to balance out the sweetness, or less choc-orange if you want a more subtle flavour.

Sorry to be so vague. I'm going to experiment with a Bailey's version in the next week or so and I'll try and pay attention to quantities as I work.

I've been a long term follower but never posted.
I am planning a poncetastic cheese board for Christmas evening. Something along these lines. I'm probably looking forward to it the most of anything at Christmas!!

Mallow I can see why you're looking forward to that. It looks delightful. I wouldn't dare do that...I would be smacking anyone who went near it because it would be mine!! All mine!!

The chocolate orange fridge cake / biscuit cake sounds amazing. I will try that I think!

Marshmallow that cheese board is beautiful! Gosh I am suddenly hungry for brie!

Anyone else decorate their own wrapping paper, I bought some lovely indian woodblock stamps with christmassy things on last year and never got round to using them, thinking of stamping white on brown paper or possibly silver on black, depends what I can get my hands on!

I'm seriously considering buying a pyrography tool and handmaking coasters and gift tags.

My friend has one. She made gift tags which were also tree decorations made from balsa wood, and also gave me a decorated set of salad servers.

Kirstie does a pyrography kit for 25 quid in hobby craft, I'm getting a bit twitchy but i dont have the best artistic drawing skills!

You can print stuff on a laser printer and then use a transfer tool on to the wood and then go over it :-)

Kirsty kit doesn't get great reviews, which is a shame. I think it will be an easy way to jazz up wooden spoons to go with my handmade gifts.

Oooh that might make things easier, there is a good one on amazon, £23 comes with loads of tips and 2 heat settings... may have added it to the basket... I really like this idea, don't know if you can tell!

I have added it to my basket too I think it could be really effective and something you use a lot

was a lurker last year and hoping to be rather poncetastic this year. blackberry vodka/gin for dm. peppermint creams for dm husband. A few cross stitches and hopefully a wreath. Hoping there will be
more but that's my starting list.

mog oooh that sounds good! I love peppermint creams but mine never come out well too soft and won't hold any shape at all!

It's my first time doing them so a few trial runs me thinks

Orangette's peppermint bark is my Christmas must-make sweet. It is wonderful, and it is the taste of Christmas for my children.

orangette.net/2008/12/look-at-that/

Fig and Cardamom Liqueur
Cranberry and Tangerine Vodka
Coffee Fudge
Vanilla Fudge
Hedgerow Gin
Plum Chutney
Herb Jelly
Chilli Jelly
Ginger Vodka
Lemoncello
Christmas Spice Liquor
Chilli and Seed Crackers
Lemon and Thyme Crackers
Mulled Wine Sachets
Cranberry Almond Milk Buttons
Apricot Almond White Buttons
Ginger Almond Dark Buttons
Herb rub
Chai Tea Jelly
Shortbread
Peppermint Bark
Yoghurt Cranberries
Candied Nuts
Candied Dark Choc Orange
Spice Rub
Blueberry Basil Vodka
Winter Spice Jelly

That's a full list of my hamper contents this year, the only thing I buy is the yogurt cranberries every year I say enough it's too much but August rolls around and I cant help but make a batch of chutney and the whole thing starts again! This year I'm doing 13 hampers I'm going to ponce myself to death!

Yay the Poncetastic thread! I joined last year but the hyperemesis got the better of me and I spent the 3 months to Christmas vomming my guts up and in and out of hospital so wasn't really feeling the Christmas spirit! Dd is 4 months so I don't have a lot of time but I'm going to do my best to ponce.

Going to make some black currant gin this coming weekend, and planning to make my own mincemeat. Might try to make dd a stocking as well.