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Original poster

Santa - WHY?

108 replies

Blackduck · 22/12/2006 11:32

Just musing on this the other day. DS is 3 and a half. We haven't pushed the santa thing (but neither have we not talked about it either) in that we haven't got him to write a Christams list or anything like that. I am starting to have a fundamental problem with telling him a man in a red suit (TM Coke Cola circa 1930) will be delivering him his presents on Christams Eve (if he's been a good boy). The letter writing wishlist seems to me to just put even more pressure on parents. This isn't Bah Humbug either, I'm just trying to think it through. I find it quite worrying when my ILs told me that the oldest GD (now eleven) has only just be told/realises that Santa doesn't exist (I'm sure I knew LONG before this....) So what are your thoughts?

OP posts:
mumofmonstersNotActuallyHere · 22/12/2006 11:34

We have said that people buy each other presents at xmas and santa will bring extra ones. I want them to know that xmas is aboit giving gifts and celebrating friendships rather than u better be good etc etc but at the same time i don't want him to miss out on the magic of xmas and the writing the list thing so have sort of made santa into a different part of xmas if that makes sense?

2nervesnapartridgeinapeartree · 22/12/2006 11:36

Beacuse it is magical when you believe a lovely man with no ulterior motives delivers presents to all the children in the world and spreads love and christmas magic everywhere. Once you know there is no Santa christmas just becomes an exercise in shopping until you have your own children and you can share the magic again.

Did I use the word magic often enough?

Yulemoonfiend · 22/12/2006 11:38

what 2nerves said!

jonesy13 · 22/12/2006 11:45

just try to think back to how excited YOU used to get- i know i always found it fantastic. why would you not want a child to experience that. nothing to do with being goood or not the look on dd's face when she sees anything to do with santa makes me glad i bought into the whole thing.

Original poster
Blackduck · 22/12/2006 11:48

I used to get excited, but I can't remember that being related specifically to this idea of Santa - more to do with the whole Christmas thing anyway. I'm not disputing what you guys say, I'm just trying to work out how I feel about all this - whilst it is magic, I accept, the whole thing is still commercialised to death......

OP posts:
marymillington · 22/12/2006 11:52

i'm with you blackduck

i used to find it terrifying. i asked my mum outright if father christmas was real when i was about 4. she told me the truth. and i was relieved, didn;t like the idea of a strange old man breaking into my house at night.

2nervesnapartridgeinapeartree · 22/12/2006 11:53

Oh yes it is all commercilalised to death but you can do something about that. I always buy my kids an oxfam unwrapped gift - 100 school dinners and write a note saying Santa knows how kind and geneous they are and has given one of their gifts to children in poorer countries.

PinkTinsel · 22/12/2006 11:54

oh stop being such a scrooge and just get down to enjoying xmas! the looks on children's faces when they come down and see the presents that have magically appeared is priceless, better even than when you were a kid getting the presents!

who cares who designed santas outfit?! as for the naughty and nice thing..... no-one naughty ever really went with no presents, it's just a bit of bribery employed by parents for one month a year!

Socci · 22/12/2006 11:54

Message withdrawn

SherlockLGJ · 22/12/2006 11:55

Oh [yawn]

Is it becoming increasingly trendy to be anti-Santa.??

Right up there with eating polenta and placenta.

2nervesnapartridgeinapeartree · 22/12/2006 11:55

Socci I am not particularly religious it has to be said.

hulababy · 22/12/2006 11:56

But it is all so exciting. DD, age 4, can't wait. She loves the whole thing and Father Christma sis a magical part of that for us.

Oh, and I don't think that those without FC don't have the present buying malarky anyway, or the pressure Children will still know that Christmas means presents after all.

I think it is perfectly possibly to combine all the stories about Christmas and for it all to go along nicely.

And I have never actually physically met anyone with any hang ups or issues over their parents lying them to them either. I think if you have a secure happy and stable relationship with parents then a child won't be affected in this way generally. I actually think it is lovely that parents want to create an air of magic for them.

mrsflowerpot · 22/12/2006 11:57

We've never really played it up either - we do stockings etc but mainly ds has sort of absorbed it from outside and we haven't disillusioned him. He's 5.5 this year and he's starting to get a bit sceptical, mostly because dh and I can't get our stories straight I think . He believes in the way that he still believes in magic I think - ie in a sort of hopeful way.

I don't think you will have an eleven year old believer unless you really really get into it yourselves and keep on telling them it's definitely true tbh. I think I stopped believing at around 6 and then played along for a year or two - I definitely remember knowing but not telling my parents I knew one year.

Original poster
Blackduck · 22/12/2006 11:57

I'm not a scrooge and actually resent that comment....
I just have an issue with this 'magically appearing' pile of stuff......actually I'm going to walk away from this....fire retardent suit is faulty

OP posts:
SherlockLGJ · 22/12/2006 11:57

I am religous and it will be wall to wall services here for two days. Last Mass of Advent, first Mass of Christmas, Midnight Mass for me, possibly Mass on Christmas day.

It does not stop me, telling my DS about Father Christmas.

Original poster
Blackduck · 22/12/2006 11:58

sherlock - not anti-santa either - this isn't a pose thanks, just a genuine trying to work out how I feel about it all...

OP posts:
hulababy · 22/12/2006 11:59

Our presents magically appear. Father Christmas delivers them. He brings a special gift of his own, and then delivers those chosen by friends and family.

DD does the christmas nativity story and the FC story.

It's fun! Nothing more. Nothing sinister. Just wonderful exciting magical fun

Socci · 22/12/2006 12:01

Message withdrawn

PinkTinsel · 22/12/2006 12:03

st. nicholus is a christian saint fgs! our priest used ring him from the alter on xmas eve to check he was on his way

i'm sorry but i do think it is a bit miserable to deprive a child of the magic and wonder of santa claus. do you refuse to read books that aren't completely realistic? disallow all tv except for documentaries? refute every mention of fairies and dragons? why take away all of these things? childhood is all about imagination and innocence

PinkTinsel · 22/12/2006 12:05

and yes i know i spelt that wrong.... dd was at the sink so i posted witghout spell checking lol

hulababy · 22/12/2006 12:05

I have no problems if others don't want to join in the fun and magic of Father Christmas. However, I would be very cross if one such adult or child were to break the magic for my child.

PinkTinsel · 22/12/2006 12:06

St. Nicholas, see i do know how!

Mincepiedermama · 22/12/2006 12:08

I find this hard too blackduck but have always done it. Last night ds2 who's 6, was scared. He says he's dreading Christmas because of FC coming down the chimney, some stranger he doesn't know breaking and entering. So we told him the truth as he was genuinely scared. We said FC is more of a symbol of love towards children at Christmas.

I've always talking about FC in a tongue in cheek way. I remember learning the truth from my mum and dad and feeling really let down and upset that they had lied and misled me. I know that sounds bizarre but I trusted them.

Anyway I sometimes feel the FC thing is about grown ups trying to get in on the magic that children feel in childhood anyway.

I do the FC thing but I'm not altogether comfortable with it and I won't push the lie longer than is natural.

This subject is quite controversial and people have really had a go at me in the past because one person's magic is another person's deception.

Vive la difference. Do as you see fit.

btw I think my 8 year old dd doesn't believe this year but has chosen to suspend her disbelief because she likes the ritual. That's the perfect result for me. I can do Santa, with a wink.

Pinotmum · 22/12/2006 12:10

Dd has asked me about FC and the Tooth Fairy many times over the past couple of months. When I laugh and say that they are real if you believe she looks so relieved. I think she would be heartbroken to know it's a story. She's 6 yo and she wants to believe it's true. She knows the ones you see are men dressed up but still thinks there is a magical one who brings the gifts.

nearlythree · 22/12/2006 12:10

We have a Nativity dvd ( currently playing for the 7th time today!) which also explains the origins of SC - i.e. St. Nicholas. Dd1 doesn't seem at all phased by this. We tell the dcs (dd2 and ds are too young atm really) that SC brings the presents on behalf of friends and family.

Using the story of St. N (a real, identifiable person) is a good way of making it less commercial IMO. If you don't want to be commercial, don't buy presents at all.