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Original poster

Santa - WHY?

108 replies

Blackduck · 22/12/2006 11:32

Just musing on this the other day. DS is 3 and a half. We haven't pushed the santa thing (but neither have we not talked about it either) in that we haven't got him to write a Christams list or anything like that. I am starting to have a fundamental problem with telling him a man in a red suit (TM Coke Cola circa 1930) will be delivering him his presents on Christams Eve (if he's been a good boy). The letter writing wishlist seems to me to just put even more pressure on parents. This isn't Bah Humbug either, I'm just trying to think it through. I find it quite worrying when my ILs told me that the oldest GD (now eleven) has only just be told/realises that Santa doesn't exist (I'm sure I knew LONG before this....) So what are your thoughts?

OP posts:
SenoraPartridge · 22/12/2006 17:04

oh come on. Father Christmas is NOT a marketing ploy. Yes, it was hijacked by coca cola, but the European trasdion of Santa Claus (german for Saint Nicholas) pre-dates marketing ploys. OK it's changed a bit, but so what? as long as you don't go overboard, it's fun.

SenoraPartridge · 22/12/2006 17:05

oh right - that'll teach me to skim read!

sprouts are nice though.

wheresthehamster · 22/12/2006 17:08

Hah! A crown! Easy peasy!

DD3 said to me this morning "Santa is bringing me an interactive whiteboard isn't he?"

Stunned for a second then reminded her that Santa only brings toys.

Now have a bit of breathing space till she remembers DD1 has asked for a new phone.

Socci · 22/12/2006 17:10

Message withdrawn

Glitterygookwithchocsonthetree · 22/12/2006 17:10

Good post Clement

SenoraPartridge · 22/12/2006 17:27

lol at interactive whiteboard.
sounds fun.

PeachyIsNowAChristmasFruit · 22/12/2006 17:36

I think I probably lie to my kids quite a bit. Fc is a minor one tbh, and any child that is going to majorly traumatised by the reality is going to struggle, imho.

I tell Sam, (who has HFA) that no, the other kids didn't mean to leave him ou- what do I say, sorry sweetie but you can seem a bit odd and have inappropriate ideas of friendships and they don't like you?

I tell him that school is importanta nd fun, what I mean is they treat you abdly and I'd like to home ed you but I can't afford to

I tell him he cn do whatever job he wants, when actually I know that whilst thats true intellectually, reality is that he'll never have the personal skills, and anyway unless his hand to eye co-ordiantion improves enough for him to write....

I tell them Mummy loves their picture and how wonderful it is, when really my heart is sinking at yet another two second scribble that DH will recycle and the kids will notice and all hell will break loose

So really FC is just the atsrt of my decpeion and I'll keep oit that way. At least its a happy lie.

alibag · 22/12/2006 17:39

DS1 is 4 and has lots of questions about Santa coming down the chimney etc. He always wonders where the reindeer are if we see a FC at the shops or at a party...Last year I made snowy hoofprints of the reindeer in the kitchen - I thought it was fun, but I can see it getting more complicated to perpetuate... Anyway, when I need to reveal the truth I will tell him the story of St Nicholas throwing a bag of gold down the chimney and the recipient not knowing who it came from, and that's how the tradition of present giving from Santa ClausSt Nicholas started.

ELF1981 · 22/12/2006 19:41

oooh, when I was younger there was a really heavy snow on Xmas Eve - my dad went out and made hoof prints and sleigh tracks in the snow for me and my sisters...
... and we cried for hours because we had missed Santa!

wickedwinterwitch · 22/12/2006 19:47

Blackduck, I so agree but can't be arsed to go over my reasons again. You're not alone anyway, and here's an old thread for your delectation!

ClementClarkeMoore · 22/12/2006 19:50

hoof prints and sleigh tracks versus 'the truth'

I know which I prefer!

ELF1981 · 22/12/2006 20:01

My parents gave me childhood innocence, and the belief in a little magic was a small part of that.
I still knew the real story of christmas, I knew why we were celebrating.

Socci · 22/12/2006 20:29

Message withdrawn

Tortington · 22/12/2006 20:47

FS was standardised by coca cola as being fat and red & white suit, in their colour advertising when there wasn't a lot of colour advertising around, wheras before there wasn't a standardised verion of him - i understand.

FC is so over analysed. obviously it depends on your child, but certainly it had never been a problem to any of my children - it never occured to them that there was anything sinister about FC. the most worrying thing was how he got through the chimney with the gas fire in the way.

magic dust

Jalexandra · 22/12/2006 20:48

It is really difficult. My ds has just turned 3 and this is the first year he has been aware of FC. he has so many questions like how will the presents fit down the chimney?, why are there different Fc's everywhere? to name but a few. I find myself making up ridiculous answers as I badly want him to beleive in the magic of it all as I did. However he may not be wired that way as he is quite logically minded. I feel like saying 'Just accept it!!' but obviously I love the fact he thinks the way he does.

Jaynerae · 22/12/2006 21:06

My DS 7 and DD3 beleive in Santa, and My DH and I have encouraged this because we remember the magic we experienced as children. Some people have different beliefs and that is fine, but how do you handle your DC's telling other children Santa is not real. A boy at Cubs recently told all the other cubs Santa is not real, it's your mom and dad - the boy was also 7 - he got balled at by the cub leader for saying such a terrible thing. I dissagree with the way the leader dealt with this - but she was concerned about the other cubs beleiving him and going home to their parents upset.

Should parents who teach their children Santa is not real, tell their child not to tell other children?. I do not blame the child - he is telling what his parents have told him, but what about us families who want their children to beleive - I do not want their thoughts on the matter thrust on to my DC's.

If you bring your DC's up not to beleive, do you say anything to them about telling other children?

MadamePlatypus · 22/12/2006 21:12

I find it odd too. The bit I struggle with is children actually believing that a strange man will come down their chimney and being OK with it. DS is 3 has obviously heard of santa (he could hardly avoid him), but I am uncomfortable with trying to make him think that santa claus is a real person, rather than somebody who is on a par with Postman Pat. I love the idea of the ritual of putting out carrots for reindeers, but on the other hand, My parents never really tried to pretend that sant was real, and I don't feel I missed out.

wheresthehamster · 22/12/2006 21:28

I wouldn't worry too much about what other kids say, there will always be one who says he's not real.

My DDs know(knew) that if a child doesn't believe then they don't get a present from him. Which is true.

The answer to all the awkward questions is

  1. I don't know the answer to that either, it's amazing isn't it? or
  2. It's magic.

To non-religious families the nativity story itself has magical properties e.g. the star and the angel Gabriel and are accepted on the same basis that Christmas is an all-round twinkly, sparkly, feelgood experience.

Socci · 22/12/2006 21:35

Message withdrawn

Tortington · 22/12/2006 21:56

well you see i lie to my children all the time
"i'm just tidyin the bedroom!" is code for me and your dad are going for a shag.

when the ice cream van plays the tune - they have run out.

you so clever!

wow that picture is lovely

you were the best in the play

ClementClarkeMoore · 22/12/2006 21:59

Exactly custy!

Socci · 22/12/2006 22:13

Message withdrawn

ELF1981 · 22/12/2006 22:15

PMSL about the tidying the bedroom line custardo
Will have to remember that for when my dd is older!

Original poster
Blackduck · 23/12/2006 07:37

WWW - thank you - your post of 09-nov-02 22:24:24 made me feel so much better

OP posts:
wickedwinterwitch · 23/12/2006 07:45

Blackduck at that thread being 2002! I would have sworn it wasn't that long ago! Having said all that, dd is 3 and I've gone along with it because dh wants to and I so can't be bothered to have a row about it. Inertia: a powerful force!